European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - March 17, 1962, Darmstadt, Hesse By Hugo hairy now it came to pass that All was no Kosher in the two and thirty Green Field of Ireland. At his Headquarters in Northern Ireland the blessed St Patrick hourly awaited the arrival of Jameson Macnamara. Head of the Irish Republican army. Well he knew what the spa Peen would be demanding and he was deter mined to refuse it. And then the bold Jameson himself arrived. Whatever else might be said of Jameson. No one could deny that he had the gift of the cab at the times he could speak coherently. Today he was coherent concise and Adamant in his demand that the liquor ration of one pint a Day be doubled for hit , men. St Patrick was aghast Dou bling the production of whisky at a time when the Economy was staggering would Knock his Virgin lands plan to Smithereens. On top of that it was t go Long ago that the , men in operation real hero bad been blowing up the eng Lish mailboxes on Only one pint a Day. He dreaded what his finance minister Barney o Briscoe would say to him if Jameson s boys went on a spree blowing up Irish mail boxes with All those fat american checks in them. No snapped St Patrick and reached for his Miter. And that s when Jameson slipping a swig from his flask started a filibuster that still makes Southern senators turn Green with envy. t h sundered Jameson in a whisky baritone was lost to the Heathen Danes until the great King Brian Boru clobbered them at the Battle of , As any go soon knows the great King was a Republican at heart. The Irish he recalled could t be bothered going across the Irish sea to subdue the English so they invited them Over and started a Donnybrook that lasted Over too years fortifying himself with a few Good a slugs Jameson airily dismissed Wil Liam the orangemen s total Victory Over the Irish at the Battle of the Boyne. It seems some spa Peen of a spy had filled the Irish canteens with water and water is a poor substitute for a fighting Man. When Cromwell s puritans invaded ire land he related they first Felt on their Knees and then fell on the Irish but the . Survived and even survived the great famine by washing their spuds in whisky. Jameson was exterminating the Black and tans without Zaklon b when St Patrick weakly reached for his pen and signed the edict upping the daily liquor ration to two pints a Day. It was t Long after when Jameson reported to St. Patrick that there were snakes in the country. St Patrick was sur prised. He had never seen a Snake himself in All his rambles through Erin. But Jame son was Adamant there were snakes allover. To make matters worse they weren t the Fine Green snakes he was used to but Pink snakes Brown snakes and even mottled snakes were slithering in Here and there. Gravely St Patrick listened and thence had an inspiration. The Economy might be reeling and the Wrath of o Bris Coe would be awful to behold but he strode manfully to his desk signed an order Dou bling the whisky ration again and handed the edict to Jameson. It was Only a month or two before the great Saint s birthday when the people of Ireland were terrified out of their wits. Throughout the length and breadth of the land there was a howling the likes of which you never heard in your life. It was like the screaming of a thousand banshees in terrible pain. Glancing out of their windows the people saw a sight they would never forget Down the highways and the byways and across the Green Meadows of the land yelping . Men with flashing shillelagh in their hands raced towards Cork and the sea. No one dared stay them and no on stood in their path. The mystery of it All might have remained a mystery forever if one holy Corkman had t stopped one of them in their mad shillelagh swinging Ruth into the sea. Shure and what in the name of god Aylsye quavered the old Man. Arrah get out of me Way be Auld coot snarled the berserk Iota. Man can t a see for yourself that them Damn Snake Are Orange coloured and with that the last Ila. A plunged into the Cool Green was the year of the Glenn orbit the stars and stripes
