European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - May 04, 1963, Darmstadt, Hesse Saturday May 4, 1963p�b� the stars and stripes saturday Way 4, t9 guests won t go Home try gagging them by Dick West Washington up every Good Host and hostess need to havea Tew gags they can use in Omer Gentles to malic certain Thol guests leave on time. Following Are n few gag that i have picked up recently an. That twill now pass along for the Benefit of any renders who might been pertaining Are practically guaranteed to Start your Gupt moving toward the door. Let us begin this humor session with mrs John f. Ken Little Rock milk has most strontium 90 Washington a Public health service pcs tabulation hawed that utile Rock. Ark., had the nation s highest level of radio Active strontium 90 in milk Sam pm during the year ended Las february. The Little Rock total was 11,242 based on the Dally average level in one liter of milk. Cloie behind Wai new Orleans with a 12-month total of 11,166 my . The pcs Anayi a total of 73,000 a year at on average rate of 200 n Day is con Sld ired an acceptable health Vrlik. A la one million that one Millionth of a Curie. A Curie is the equivalent of the radioactivity produced by one Gram of Radium. The totals for the year ended i january War 10508 or Little Rock and 1m64 for new Orleans and Tor the 13 months ended in de Cember they were 10,661 Tot Little Rock and 10,854 or new spokesman said it la theorized that the higher Levels in these area Are the result of Bot natural variations and the amount of strontium 90 deposited on for age and Roll and the fact that Dairy herds apparently Graze on outside pasturage a greater pro portion of the Lime than they Doali Ewhen. Wind patterns and rain patterns Are credited with playing a Partin uie natural variations. He added Ultra has been no Sci anus to proof. The service s monthly report Al so showed that the he Ghent Dally average rending in the nation Dur ing March for radioactive iodine 131 in milk was 30 Ries liter in Denver. The next highest readings Tor March Wen 10 Syracuse san Juan . Jackson miss. Charleston . Grand rapids. Mich. Minot. . Little Rock and new Orleans Salt Lake City Utah and Las vegas nov. Nedy s delicate d i of Tiev Slon commentator Joseph Vlehr the nor of expectancy n the while House Ait a political Omen. The says Mccafrey is prepared to carry the Artof baby mss Ink to Ihn ultimate de Gree o perfection. Me is even sup plying the exit the first wave of . George d. Alkon a it also detects political overtones in the fact that three Kennedy wives Are anticipating. Ite slur refits that the next com in Len my shape up along the lines of the classic rare Between the Hercs and the Lounds. At som Point one Hare turns to another and say.-. Shall we run some More or Stop and outnumber them exit second wave. Now let us switch to Congress. As everyone knows the House of representatives is spending up wards of $100 million on a fancy new office building for its Mem Loftus a local Public relations Man recommends that it be rolled the tax Lotus gag will break up a party faster than anything i know of except maybe an air we have a concessional rag by Oscar Johnson of the Capi Tol Hill weekly Holl Call. It con Cerns charges that Congress has Heen dawdling this to Johnson the charges Are baseless. He contends that our lawgiver Haven t and a Chance yet for any realty serious dawdling bemused of All the hello Central give me some Cash Riovo Utah Topi at Brigham Young Ulver Silty have discovered canvassing by Telephone is a Good Way to raise Money for the school in one week they raised almost 11000 by calling alumni living inthe Ana. The program la called Tel fun Don t Blush they re real old Newark tin anyone interested in looking at an Ana Ort ment of antiquated Sulli panties can do so tuesdays and Satur Days at the pm Tenet historical society Munmum at Iso Broad Way. The a Odets noting the importance of Pantle As Industrial product has placed some 100 ladles on Biumi including to Chemise. If there arc any guests sold inn Ronit on Niter All of this Youcan Tell them comedian Mark rut. Soil s Rizir about the outbreak otkirn1 crimes in the capital. I did t know we were Havinga crime wave Russell says. I in Vurhl it was like this so the As a last resort if one guest itch has t gone and he happens to be , toll him this you know what scientists produced by crossing with a Gorilla a retarded . Scraps plan to give Faa military air Rule Washington up the government has ditched a four year old plan to put nil military air traffic control facilities under the Federal aviation Agency Paa. It figures banging on to the computer which said that he figure uzo a in the american average is Peggy a orals in at Lanta of Peggy s figure was measured by the magnetic tape aha Ftp photo mis8 average measures up to solid 35-25-35 Atlanta a a Nosey Elee tronic computer we fed distaff data from a company annual to million individual Bra and foundation sales. The machine came up with these facts Worth mentioning about unmentionables women nay As much attention to Bra patterns As hey do hat styles. High school and College girls like frills and ribbons but after the honeymoon they choose nor severe patterns. Mast girls prefer White Bra throughout the year but choose red Blue Black and other colors for christinas easter and Valen Tine s Day. You re average in Silhouette i you measure where it s important 35-21-35. If you live on the West const chances Are you re a wee bit larger. Tim my gets Lowdown on California burglar Long Beach. Calif. The Only description j a year Oitim my Al Erdsman was Able to give of the burglar that invaded Hon Home was that he had big feet and wore Gruy that s All Tim my saw Asho hid under the bed while the burglar stole a television set and an elec tric razor. A stayed there for four hours until his parents returned. Jealous somebody at work Springfield 111. Up someone has Glen the Springfield police department what amounts to direct Challenge. A car parked in front of a drug Stort bore this sign i work in the Beauty shop across the Street and Park Herat Day. I never get a 75,000 just can t believe it on Colo. Income tax Cut Denver a the Colorado legislature approved a 35 cent Cut in personal income taxes this year effective with the 19g2 re turns. But a state official says 75,000 persons failed to take advantage of the Cut. Can t explain we Ore absolutely unable to explain it said Harold Drake Deputy state director of Revenue. Drake said the 75,000 taxpayers will get refunds As soon is tote auditors Refl Gure their returns. St. Augustine asks special plates St. Augustine. Fla. A red and yellow Florida License plates have been proposed for docs As a part of the 400lh anniversary of St. Augustine the notion s old est City. Mayor in pcs Liru Lydey tin used gov. Ferris Ury unt to authorize those colors. The hits of St. Augustine and us founder Spain Are red and Yel Low. Texas officials accuse rangers of harassment Dallas us . Sen. Ralph Yarborough has accused Texas rangers of enforcing pistol government in the politically Lorn South Texas town of Crystal City. The mayor and a majority of the now All latin City Council have accused rangers of mayor Juan Cornejo also charged Ranger Captain Alfred alien with roughing him up. Alice called the mayor a Cornejo met with the Federal Burnu of he ild he expected the Fri to end Yprborough. Meeting with , said he and n report that a Texas hunger seized the keys to the Crystal City Munici pal building flagrant usurpation this is the most flagrant in extraordinary Mir Pitlon of Power i Hae Licord of since the Oil Boom Days in Border and before that since my Farough said run jars moved into Crystal Cit Niter the americans swept nil five places in the ally Counell election april 2 for the first Lime in history. Political and incl no uneasiness have gripped the to never since. Bird puts beak on pension Check Niagara Falls. . A a Blackbird almost succeeded in go ing Bye Bye with a pensioner Scheck Here. Or. Und mrs. Bert Hawkins of nearby Willoughby township were Riding in their automobile when they spotted the Low flying Bir with an envelope in its beak. They stopped blew the Cor Horn and clapped their hands und the Enve Lope fell to the ground. Hawkins retrieved it. Found i contained n pension Check for Lew is Wollick of Wyllo urby township and delivered it to him. The Hiril apparently picked the envelope out of will Lack s a Pillbox. Alfio scrapped was a proposal to establish n Federal Al Nylon service which would have placed civil con trollers until or military Jurls Dlo Tion in the event of a National emergency. The Faa said Ooth ideas Wen dropped after a year Long study by in committee that included top officials from Tea Faa. The defense department an the budget Bureau. The committee concluded that Faa operation of . Military control facilities on a worldwide basis could not he justified on the basis of Cost or operational Elf Ili Clancy. " other recommendation the group did recommend that he Faa continue to assume operational responsibilities for certain military air traffic facilities an Selc Elve it also urged that the Faa and the military explore the feasibility of training controllers jointly at Well As a. common technical form acc standards. The mall tiry to Faa Ransfer was first proposed in 1059 As Parton project Friendship during the regime of Faa administrator Elwood r. Quzada. Mrs. America pageant sold Hollywood. Fin. Up pub. Hefty Mun Bert Nevins announced and sold i. Cunt rolling interest in mrs. Amer Lii inc. The Home making contest he and his wife started 24 years ago. No vans sold his part of the coif test to i Ralph Sleben of Chicago president of United cities an metro Gus companies. No Price was disclosed but Nev. Ins had had his mrs. America u the rests on the Market for the past two years for More than a million dollars. Originated in ism no vans and his wife originate the contest in 19.19 at Palisades. A. It originally began As t Beauty pageant and in recent year was turned into one stressing Homem Nkang skills. The contest has been held successively at Asbury Park. No. Ormond Beach. Fla., and fat Lauderdale Fla. No pageant we held in 1962 and it was moved this year to Golden Beach. Just North of Miami Beach where us 196.1 mrs. America. Mrs. Marl Mitchell of California was chosen. Attorney cites Beauty s deposition errors los Angeles up the at Torney defending himself a galust Terry Lynn Huntingdon s paternity suit cited pre trial depositions Bihe former Beauty Queen in an at tempt to Challenge her Crowley referred to state ments in three depositions which miss Huntingdon 92. Has since admitted were false. The miss . In the 1959 miss universe contest has Tes tilled that she later Correct them Tyror g Crowley who suld he would seek to impeach the cred Billly of the we Lovus referred to one depose lion taken nov. 7. 1961. In which she said she had not met a Texas oilman on a trip to new York the preceding april. Later. In correcting the a Posl Lions she old she had met the oilman at the previous time according to Crowley s presentation in the deposition according to Crowley. She no first claimed Mohave stayed in a hotel in new York but later admitted staying in Hoilman s apartment. Attorneys spent much of the 1win Chambers discussing the Case. Miss Huntingdon charged that Crowley fathered her Dau Hub Elizabeth during a 1961 Romano. He denied the parenthood charge
