European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - April 23, 1977, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 18 the stars and stripes april 1977 Russell Baker new York not the cats wanted a Here was a disagreeable 11 was bad enough having conferences with a conference is nothing but a committee of the upwardly Mobile in search of a and one of the chief reasons for keeping cats was that they hated i said 1 did not Confer with who had brought the looked u was obvious she had made the mistake of conferring with them and they had taken the Opportunity to warn her that she was not doing an adequate Job and was Likely to be replaced by younger blood unless she shaped dont i told there not going to Force you to Lake Early retirement As Long Asim running this improved her Day but not the Gall of it the cats asking for a conference 1 called a conference closed executive no cats member of the family had that hooded look of the seasoned conferee ready to Buck the blame for failure somebody it was the cats had walked right in and spoken the cats Are talking they they had been watching pet food ads on television and had seen other cats they had even seen a dog singing italian the Scales had fallen from their the spirit of feline liberation was aflame under their Here was appalling news cats had been tolerable so Long As they kept their in addition to the noise of phone radio and the household was going to have to live with the gabble of firm action was what was needed at this critical juncture was not Spock but Spiro he had always understood the evils of and permissiveness clearly was the Issue at i had seen enough Pelford commercials to Sec which Way ill wind was with the decline in the americans had stopped having babies and started having the grocery lacing bankruptcy in baby had tried to Salvage itself with a flier in Pel you  Ratcli the tube 10 minutes anymore without seeing some insolent beast turn up its nose at the leftover cauliflower and go into a sulk from which it could be rescued Only by inc Advertis ers Pourmel Pel of but also engaged in peculiarly arrogant acts of ingratitude by subtly tormenting their owners with suggestions that they were unworthy to practice the nutritional the nation was raising a generation of spoiled the infection had to be treated with powerful 1 agreed to see the but Only on condition that they not one word out of either of i and both would be put out of the House for a week to make do with the neighbor Hood the spokes Ellne was a mangy Gray specimen of femininity whom 1 had tolerated for 10 years without once receiving the slightest Token of even though one year 1 had slipped her Turkey scraps from the Christmas her colleague was a half witted a Black cat known simply As the Black cat for he had lived under the illusion that he was a he liked to retrieve thrown balls and lie panting by the Hearth on Winter Alcibiades bore a Small placard which said Power to the the Black cat was wrapped in demonstrators on which was written dog is mans Best baby like the ruthless executive i i told them the facts of for they had idled uselessly around the doing nothing but shedding hair on the i had put up with that a Man can put up with a lot from any living organism that has the Good Grace to keep its lip and what Reward did i get a demand for gourmet threats to did they think i wanted to listen to some mangy Gray cat talking it would be about before in would be did they think i wanted to listen to an imbecilic Black cat talk about the superiority of being a dog i let them make the Long life on leftover cauliflower eaten in perpetual or the animal they skulked knowing they had at last met a to made me feel could in be that i was incapable of love was i who was the True beast at the i spent a Fortune on gourmet brought it and begged Alcibiades she said 1 had brought her an inferior the cat barked an aria from ital Ian the Telephone it was for the maltese Tomcal next door wanted to complain Hal his owners didst under stand now in the sky prof has Way of retrieve satellites Philadelphia Lap an aerospace Engineer whose colleagues Call him inc Gur Bageman of space has developed a Way to Pluck orbiting satellites from space and bring them safely Back to the plan is the first practical method de Vised for Clearing some manmade objects now littering the Galaxy hundreds of Miles above said Marshall Kaplan of Pennsylvania stale Kaplan said he presented the proposal to Law National aeronautics space adm Nistra which commissioned his research and is considering the plan for inc space shuttle program in the defense department also is very interested in the retrieval proposal As a Way in which foreign satellites could be captured if they posed a threat to the United Kaplan the biggest obstacle to capturing objects in space is the fad Hal Many of them Are spinning or tumbling very making it unsafe fur a retrieval vehicle to link up with a target particularly if there Are people in the Kaplan under the the space shuttle would carry a cargo of water and Point a giant nozzle at the spinning because water in a vacuum freezes when it strikes an the satellite would temporarily be coated with As the ice turned from solid to Kaplan it would slow the Satel Lites permitting a Kaplan said satellites thai arc not spin Ning pose no problems other than today crossword 423 across 1 Panther s slander i Anthracite 12 Mars form 13 past 14 associate 15 to producer Norman u greek letter 17 soft sheepskin is woodchuck 20 mat 22 nordic name 24 behold 25 armadillo 2s appoint 33 squabble 34 period 35 naught 31 Clergyman weasel like animal 40 be sold at 41 portico 43 shallow Lake 47 Strong smelling Herb 51 Charles Lamb 52 cat sound 54 Farewell u 55 Mountain Lake 54 Type of poem it catch Down 1 Symbol of Victory 2 extent 3 elevate 4 roof window 11 Wildcat 11 alternative 21 Muhammad 23 centers 25 fortify m hawaiian food strict Dos 27 Barley fiber do Linaria z9 persecuted i exclamation 30 cuckoo 7 Fate 31 Tannum cardboard 32 Moose like Box Deer 57 and others 9 Swan Genus 37 Large 10 soviet 58 silk Mountain 59 Earth Range solution time 22 Attisa e3mphes si3kq Straan Ana answer to yesterdays Lizard 38 family member 39 Prodigy it on account 43 permits 44 wings 45 encircle 41 epic poem updo med Chestnut 41 Pearl Buck heroine 59 unite Metal s3 japanese vegetable Dea Onn land ers dear Ann Landers a Long ago you printed 12 rules for raising delinquent i didst pay much action Way Back then because i had three Small children sign of going think i have a c on my and one How about a Ann As 1 look those rules were probably Landers at Ter Best Flagstaff Mother dear Mother the u roles Tor raising delinquent children were not original with they were sent by a Reader who cred hed the Houston police depart i am pleased to rerun them for you and for others who May not have seen them the first time begin with infancy to give the child everything he he will then grow up to believe the world owes him a when he picks up Tad this will make him think Hes u will also encourage him to pick up cuter phrases that will blow off the top of your head never give him any religions wait until he is 21 and then let him decide for dont be surprised u be decides to be avoid the use of the word u might develop a guilt this will condition him to believe when he is arrested for shoplifting or stealing a that society is against him and he is being pick up everything he leaves around his shoes and do everything for him so he will become experienced in throwing All responsibility on let him read any printed matter he can Lay Little hands make sure the silverware and glasses Are sterilized but allow us mind to feast on have plenty of ragout fights in the presence of your after Yon Are they will not be sur give the child All the spend ing Money he never let him earn his Why should he have things As Tough As you had them satisfy his every craving for drink and see to it that every sensual desire is Gratis childhood should be fun denial May Lead to harmful frus take his part against neigh teach ers and they Are All prejudiced against your when he gets into real Trou ble apologize for yourself by i never could do a thing with prepare for a life of you arc Apt to have dear Ann this letter is being written by Lour picked on the problem is our she is a nutty from morning till night All we hear hang up your Coats turn off the lights clean out the Bathtub straighten your clothes closets its from morning till any suggestions on How to get her of tour backs the quads in Rock Island dear rocks hang up your turn off the clean out the Bathtub and straighten your clothes Ici i Ultra