European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 12, 1980, Darmstadt, Hesse Pago 20 the stars and stripes Friday. September 12. 1980 in Moscow underground humor by Serge Schmemann associated Pressi t was t Long after the summer olympics be Gan in Moscow that the first joke surfaced. The butt was the widespread expectation that soviet stores would be packed with food to impress visitors. A woman Calls the local food store Tell me is it True that during the games Well be Able to order food by phone1" store manager sure and it la be delivered Over the anecdote quickly nude the rounds la mos cow adding to the Rich store of topical underground humor that has become permanent fixture of soviet life. They come in Waves armenian jokes Brezhnev jokes food shortage jokes jewish jokes. In Stalin s Day they could and often did serve As one Way tickets to Siberia. Today they re still sometimes told in Low conspiratorial tones and most could never be printed in the controlled press. But they provide a vital antidote to the heavy diet of official propaganda. Shortages of food in state stores arc one of the most popular current themes. An armenian is asked How s the situation with meat in Yerevan capital of soviet Armenia with meat it s excellent comes the reply. But without it s or a child asks what came first the Chicken or the egg grandmother answers a in the old Days we had a listener Calls the armenian official radio is it possible to ride a horse from the hero City of Moscow to the hero City of Odeisa radio yes if it s not devoured by people in the ferocity of Mir King official rhetoric provides an inexhaustible Reso uru for jokes. One classic what is the difference Between capitalism and communism answer capitalism is the exploitation of Man by Man and communism is the the perpetual official glorification of soviet cities sup plied this one is it possible to make Paris into an exem Plary socialist City of course. But it would be a terrible president Leonid i. Brezhnev with his stiff bearing mechanical delivery and habit of using notes for All offi Cial pronouncements is a perennial favorite. A non one has him officially opening the olympic games from notes on his program proclaiming of of of reference to the five interlocking rings that Are the Symbol of the olympics. An older one has Josef v. Stalin Nikita s. Khrushchev and Brezhnev in a railway car that has t moved in hours. Stalin leaves declaring hell take care of the problem. When he returns he announces that he s shot the entire train Crew. The train of course does t Budge. Khrushchev tries next he posthumously rehabilitates of e the trainmen and proclaims them heroes of socialist la Bor. Still the train does t move. Finally it s Brezhnev s turn let � draw the curate and pretend the train it jewish jokes have flourished with the emigration movement. Question Why Are jewish babies prettier than int Sian one answer because they re made for or there s the one about Rabin Orlob a frequent character b jewish jokes Caff is the Kab Ecret police i re lost my Parrot and Josl want to to know i Don t share its and on they go spreading through private parties meetings and offices picking up local variant and new twists Czechoslovakia announced it ministry even though the country is landlocked. Concerned the soviets demand to know Why the czechoslovak need a Navy ministry when they have no sea coast. Well you have a ministry of culture the czech Oslo Vaks reply. V have you heard a plane carrying the entire soviet politburo has crashed in "wasanyonesaved?""poand."
