European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - January 11, 1981, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Divorce in the popular pastime by Mary Ellen Haskett United press International j1irry Lewis is doing it after 35 years of mar Norman Mailer has done it five times and a majority of couples who marry before age 20 Are expected to do even lovelorn columnist an Landers has joined the divorce seems to have become one of americas most popular As you look it seems everybody is said Philip president of the american facade my of matrimonial one out of 10 married americans is Likely to get a 300 percent increase from the statistics from the census Bureau Mil lion divorces in the United states in up percent from ninety two married people per married people got divorces in 1979 and the figure for 1980 was expected to be in Only 35 spouses per married people got divorce lawyers quote widely different some say 25 percent of All marriages end in others saying Only about 4 percent of All couples but they All agree that divorce is i Don t think people go into marriage As they did years especially the Young Soloman they dont give the commitment to it that they did in the in not saying that Good or its just a Soloman said the ease of getting a divorce in 1980 compared to 1960 May contribute to the Lack of commit ment because spouses know they can end a marriage without protracted Waits and court Battles in most a great Many marriages stayed together in the past because it was hard to get said Doris a new York lawyer who is a member of the american bar associations family Law no fault makes it whether you agree with that or All but two Illinois and South have no fault divorce in which both spouses need Only state they Are incompatible without giving specific not Only did divorce involve court in the old it also involved the washing of dirty freed she called no fault divorce an encouragement to negotiation instead of by making divorces easier to no fault Laws have Cut the percentage of divorces in one City Reno became the divorce capital of the world during the 1930s when Nevada liberalized its divorce Laws in Hopes of luring some Cash to the socialites and movie stars moved into guest ranches to establish Resi Dency after a six week wait and then were Given divorces on the grounds of mental now the Nevada divorce Trade is incidental to Gam bling and quickie freed supports the new Laws that make it easier to dissolve marriages without Long waiting periods or end less court divorce should be very easy and marriage should be a Little More she the roman Catholic Church has begun requiring six month waiting periods before marriage in numerous dioceses throughout the during that prospective spouses Are Given the Miles spokesman for the san Francis co said statistics show that 80 percent of marriages involving people under age 20 since the 1960s weve been searching desperately for ways to better prepare people for Riley i spent 12 years in preparing to be a priest and it is harder to be a husband than it is to be a freed believes divorces also Are increasing be cause the feminist movement has shown women they can stand on their own two added attorney Karen former president of the National organization for women i would guess that one of the reasons that Many women stayed married in the past was economic so now that More women Are in the labor people presumably Are Able to stay married because they enjoy not because  starve to i think the rising divorce rate is an economic change More an aesthetic economic Battles Are part of Only 10 percent of All about 90 percent of All divorces in the United states Are settled without going to court because they involve marriages that did not last a Long time and in which the partners were Able to work put property and financial divisions without the help of a some couples have begun writing prenuptial mainly to state the responsibilities of each spouse during the but also sometimes to state what will happen in Case of Decrow said there is Only one problem with the agreements they Are Only recognized in 10 there is invariably a clause that anyone can pursue any kind of friendships they in new adultery is grounds for Decrow and Judith a family Law professor at Georgetown University in sup port the concept of prenuptial agreements and be Lieve More states ought to recognize them As legally they give a needed said she said the reports of rising divorce rates have worried some women and the extra Security would be she believes the increased number of divorces does have an Impact on the choices women Are i think the word has gotten out that a woman Doest have much Assurance of being provided for if her marriage ends up in so a woman who might have wanted to be a full time Mother now says she can t risk Shes got to have a Why not allow couples to make a prenuptial agreement that binding it could til be out of the Job Market to raise the children and if were such and such will Soloman also said the reports of rising divorce rates Are to married the statistic feeds on if everyone knew Only 4 percent were getting divorced each they probably would Deal with their marriages the statistic says to marriage is a very scary and precarious thing so watch out for while some people May believe the rising divorce rate shows americans place less value on the family and it actually May show they value Home and family said i dont think you can pin the reason for the rising divorce rate to one magic but rather than being a statement that americans value marriage its More accurate to say its a sign that they value marriage More and wont tolerate bad it used to be looked on As ones duty to stay in a bad marriage for the Sake of the the welfare of children is another area that has changed in in the custody area weve seen a Clear movement away from the tender years Areen she referred to court rulings that mothers should have custody of children during their formative freed said More parents than in the past Are agreeing to share custody of the Many women Are very Happy with the trend for Shar ing custody because they cant Bear the burdens of their jobs and the children they know their husbands Are Good its much better to talk about the Best interests of the children than did she sleep with whom and How Many times or does he have an Eye for the said its All Soloman also said a major change in divorces has been the rejection of automatic custody for fathers Are trying to get their children he custody is one of the major reasons for going to although lawyers Are trying More and More to reach out court settlements and some couples have begun using a new service mediation and for Sam and Sandra Mayo spent 2v4 years and to get their they became increasingly hostile As they fought Over child custody and Visita their two children suffered in the emotional tug of they asked a divorce mediator to help without going Back to the they reached an agreement in six sessions at a Cost of paid by los Angeles the court Battle was a terribly frustrating and frightening said i was so angry i didst want to talk to my but mediation gave us a Calm atmosphere to work out our it was a sane atmosphere and the court was advocates of divorce mediation contend lawyers try to keep clients angry and hungry for a favourable the problem is that the anger remains for years of Roget said Midge Stulberg of the american arbitration do Force is one of the vital areas of dispute settlements in society and its one of the worst agreed association president Robert the american arbitration court systems around the country and private groups have begun divorce mediation services to allow separating spouses to determine their own divorce settlements through negotiations moderated by professional mediators say fighting Over a divorce settlement keeps spouses from doing what they know to be Best for them selves and their they say the adversary system of hiring separate attorneys Fosters anger and divorce settlement is also mediation costs a couple about to with another to for an attorney to put the mediated agreement in but most couples still hire Sepa rate lawyers to sort out their conflicting interests at a Cost of about to More in some there is a tendency to try to avoid fighting in divorce said los Angeles attorney Harold Rhoden try to Divide property equally and eliminate All questions of you keep one party from pressuring the there is an enormous tendency to get away from this idea of conflict when theres a some flights Are divorce fights sometimes Center on issues that might seem bizarre to those not for the Case of a los Angeles Man who complained his a wife was not taking care of the Rolls Royce she had been awarded in a judge changed the decree to give joint custody of the Rolls so the husband could polish the which he said was getting dirty because the car was left out at or How about the new York couple who had an angry custody Battle Over their dog the wife was Given Custo but the husband received visitation Soloman said he knows of a Case in which one spouse insisted that the dog sleep in the couples ruining their sex lives and leading to a and what of an a husbands right to help name his child a Colorado District judge denied John Miless request that he be notified when his preg Nant goes into labor so he could go to the Hospital delivery room for the the judge also denied Miles request for a court order that would allow him to participate in the naming of the baby after it was 1 think that ruling is kind of a blow to men who Are seeking said i just want to be there when my child is i dont want to hassle my wife or who plans to seek custody of the child after it is said he and his wife had been married for a year before she decided to seek a the judge said he denied Miles requests because the couple was not get Ting along and he believed it might be a Strain on the a More serious change in divorces in the last 20 years has been the Reform movement succeeding in getting no fault divorce Laws passed and now moving toward reforming child custody and financial distribution said the focus of the controversy in divorce Reform has Areen in the it was grounds for and no fault started in what the fight now is it turns out fault want eliminated when you get around to dividing up the Money and that where the Battle is joined at the like said custody is now not automatically Given to but the economic division is the area that still needs major most states have equitable distribution Laws that allow a to Divide the property according to what he believes is a fair share for each its not Clear what principle should take the place of fault in awarding Areen i hear stories of judges who say to you wanted Equality so you dont get i term it a judges also have awarded Alimony to men in some cases following a 1979 supreme court ruling that it is unconstitutional to deny Alimony to Hus bands simply because they Are in november actress Mackenzie who used to play the teenage daughter of a Divorcee on lbs one Day at a was ordered to pay her a husband a month temporary Rockefeller heiress Neva Kaiser was ordered by a judge to pay her har Vard professor Walter a month Alimo the rulings Point toward a liberalized attitude toward divorce by similar to the More lenient attitude taken Fry Many other syndicated advice columnist Ann Landers has d on marital breakups maybe because Shes Weed a to Tell people that if you it should be for matter How Rotten it now i feel that we All Clay around our Iff Doest i dont think that you should hang Gether like a pair of matched eve Mello now i have Dacheng Yang at Florida state chinese visitor in the of Bureau Dpi by Tom Hillstrom United press International professor Dacheng Yang travelled literally Halfway around the world without a Clear ing customs with no problem and finding his Way to North Florida without then the Iron toothed gears of the american bureaucracy caught up with there was the social Security a computer would not churn out Yang modest biweekly living stipend unless he had a social Secu Rity he and it was not entirely comprehensible to him Why he would have to pay into a retirement system when surely hed be As far away from the United states As is physically Possi ble when the time came to consider a without he dutifully filed for his in three he got one and in due course the computer began dispensing his subsistence still slightly confused but nevertheless Yang got Down to the work that brought him to but the government was not finished with professor yet to be reckoned with was the already blessed with his social Security Yang found a curious official looking document in his he showed it to his new to a they Shook their Heads and tried to conceal As Fate would have had been chosen by another computer to fill out not the simple census form most americans but the Long one i got a very detailed he explained his face his words an for two Yang struggled earnestly with the questions posed on the forms Many questions about the appliances he the Utility Bills he his average income for the past five years and the number of bathrooms on the premises of his which Home he Here or in peking friends guessed that the government was inter ested in the visiting scientists living arrangements in the United states and not his permanent residence in Distant that made it he was living during his eight month stay in a Small furnished apartment near the Campus of Florida state he didst have a car or a microwave he also didst own a no time for he explained in a recent we work Day and is a professor at the University of peking specializing in tropical meteorology and was very inter ested in the research of a Florida state professor internationally known for his work in the same when diplomats cleared the Way for a science Exchange program Between China and the United the English speaking Yang jumped at the Chance to however Florida states meteorology depart last he flew to new spent three Days in Washington with chinese embassy officials and then came to he spent most of his time lecturing at student seminars or working with seven Days a often until 3 or 4 he had Little time to see his Host country or even to Dine i Cook chinese food in very he re plied when asked his opinion of american but 1 have made Many new Many of them chinese and he did make two interesting one to a meteorology conference in Oklahoma and another to the National Hurricane research Institute in Coral Gables As Hurricane Allen slammed through the Caribbean in route to Yang returned Home to his a physical Educa Tion and 16yearold Bis newly issued social Security card in the Exchange program is very Good for us to pro Mote the Friendship and understanding Between our two he said before we Are anxious to learn from american scientists viable ideas and advanced All of this is very productive for our Page 12 the stars and stripes january 1981 the stars and stripes 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