European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - February 4, 1981, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 20 the stars and stripes february modern living traditional grandparents new York times an endangered species by Nan Robertson new York times Are grandparents a vanishing Breed it appears that they Are becoming at least As we have known revolutionary changes involving millions of society and health care have swept across this tumbling Over ancient practices and habits of Twentyfive million americans Are now 65 years old or better nutrition and medicines Are contributing to a population that is steadily growing More what is happening to these More numerous grandparents this was Only one of the questions that ignited a Lively Giveand take recently at the 92d Street y after a lecture by Rose Dobrof on is there room for grandparents in the changing american family she is a professor of social work and director of the Brookdale Center of aging at Hunter among the new realities she discussed Are these Many grandparents dont have As much time to spend with their grandchildren because increasingly both grandmother As Well As the Grandfather Are working until 65 years of age and older at jobs away from a new kind of mobility has come upon the it involves not just the younger generation but the old grand parents retiring away from Homes near their children in the snowy North and Mountain states to Leisure villages or separate apartments in the Sun Belt of the Caroli Texas and Southern v the continuation of the Mammoth trend toward single family with the biggest group the aged widow who has bought Independence and privacy at the expense of family and a higher Standard of the three generation family As we used to know it has almost the Homes broken by at a rate that continues to the grandparents Are As affected As other members of the immediate although this is not often taken a worried looking pair of grandparents had trav eled into Manhattan from a faraway part of new Jersey for the lecture they we hoped wed find some answer to our they rep resented a three generation but with a mod Ern twist brought Back by living with them for the past five years have been their divorced daughter and her three 12 and Over the years tension has built up said the we love our grandchildren but we resent Dubros suggestion was that the other set of grandpa rents the a husbands parents might be asked to take on their share of responsibilities for the grandchild the new Jersey clearly thought this might be a novel idea bubbled up on the subject of the Al too frequent ugly which might include a a wife who gets custody of their children and who would restrict the husbands visiting rights and Doest want to see her former inlays a member of the audience suggested that grandpa rents be included in family counselling and that their visiting rights might be written legally into the settlement agreement that precedes a Dobrof brought up a Case that illustrated the vanishing grandparent phenomenon the couple instead of retiring near their daughter and grandchildren on Long moved to the daughter with a How could they do this to me that her parents had left her and their grandchildren in the Dobrof urged such families to use the Long Dis Tance Telephone frequently to express love and con Cern and Cement even with increased she she considered airline travel a and some bus lines Are giving those Over 65 discount in any Dobrof the family As we knew it in America is dead As a once upon a she there used to be daddy and and a 7yearold boy and a 5yearold girl and a dog named spot and grandma just Down the Road baking cookies behind a White picket these if grandma int still working at the Shes pulled up stakes and gone off with grandpa to a Condo in the Sun on a flight from Washington to Phoenix recently a group of airline Steward esses were gathered in the Kitchenette tossing a paperback Back and now in no i knew they we rent read ing a manual on How to Flo Tate when your Cushion Springs a when i asked the one of the girls explained it was a Book that was Selling like hotcakes called the greatest Little Bachelor Book in Texas by sue it pro filed 200 Texas bachelors Complete with pictures and phone girls girls i taking the Book from How Lucky you Are to have me on this flight to save you from this immoral bit of you dont shop for a mate in a Sears wish love finds you when you least expect Shes said one of the i met this Guy in a Star wars line and we lived together two i look Here on Page sugar bears idea of excitement is to play in a Fountain after a formal dinner do you know How impractical that is theres always terrific on Page said a Little he believes in soaking the dishes in his hot i grabbed the Book he also thinks Era Means earned run forget him As a married woman of 31 i should read through this Book and give you the value of my expertise on who would make a Good As we heared i made some notes Jim on Page 53 considers his favorite Contact sport shopping on Christmas mikes greatest assets on Page 115 Are his thighs and his a podiatrist on Page 99 led a rally for Harold Tassen and drives a 59 seadog on Page 116 is hooked on ryans Hope and has a pet Boa what do you think they asked As we touched i looked at the volume that not once had touched upon the real Pitfalls of marriage interstate Prema Ture nodding Howard Cosell terminal consistent extramarital affair with his relatives for the Holiday and do something with the kids i think you could take your Chance with any one of they Veall got the main ingredient for a marriage humor about can i have my Book Back asked the i slipped her and ill keep for re one never stops i had All the Good pages earmarked c Field enterprises