European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - April 1, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 18 columns the stars and stripes april today crossword yanks stir controversy in parliament by Apple London the previously Little known american presence in the House of in the form of unpaid interns from universities in the United has suddenly become a cause it All began when Nicholas an iconoclastic conservative member of urged the govern ment to curb the number of american students working in he said that the interns might be Security risks and said that in any event preference for such jobs should be Given to Young his initiative led to a study by a commons select which was published last it recommended Security checks for All interns and accused temporary parliamentary especially the Ameri can of vandalism and disorderly behaviour on the the report charged that the students waste the time of Library employees by asking questions of a sometimes disconcertingly uninstructed do academic work rather than serving the to whom they Are tear articles from magazines and pages from books rather than making photocopies and generally overtax already inadequate services in the but the Young who work in parliament As part of their regular degree do not Lack for no sooner had the report been publicized than began writing to the sticking up for the foreign the underlying problems Are even with several makeshift the House of commons is far too Small a building to accommodate All that it now and that Are Given very Little Money to defray the Cost of running their whereas a member of the House of representatives May employ As Many As 18 people and a senator As Many As each receives Only about a year As a secretarial allowance out of which to pay All of his the average number of paid employees is said to be for each about 60 americans Are thought to be working in the commons this although no exact figures Are last the number reached 80 to or More than a third of All employees in similar the biggest group is brought to Britain by an organization called educational programs which places As Many As 20 students each term in they come from Many but All of them Are selected by the University of each student pays of which goes to educational a nonprofit and of which is kept by the University of educational programs gives each student about a week for housing and food while he is in in the Spring and fall the researchers work three Days a week and take special academic courses the other two in summer they work five Days a c 1985 new York times Syndicate no cure for a terminal Case of envy by Russell Baker i suffer Long bouts of the latest set in a few months ago when somebody said Gary Grant had just had his 80th or was about to have his 80th or whatever i forget but it had to do with Cary Grant being in the Vicinity of i immediately collapsed into which is Nasty it not Only makes you unhappy with it also makes you angry at the object of your who is probably a perfectly decent As i assume Gary Grant the news about his octogenarian ism in stantly threw me into a fit of sour what right did Cary Grant have to look better at 80 than i had at 30 i have had trouble All my life with Cary at 18 i wanted to know Why Cary Grant was entitled to a dimpled smile while i had to put up with ears like Anten and now Here was this cup of Gall about Cary Grant at All Cary i said to Ive had enough of your and i began a Lon term program that would eventually make me look As Good at 60 As Cary Grant had looked at thus the following week found me joining the neigh Bors who Trot around and around and around the Block at an hour i have always considered fit Only for firing squads and on the third morning during the 10th circuit of the my Cary Grant envy ceased be Hon i urged you can Roll out at Dawn for the rest of your life and still not look As Good at 60 As Cary Grant does at 80 am i right i had to agree that i but next morning i rolled out again Why i had moved into another form of this was inspired by the extraordinary number of Trotters who wore headsets linked to cassette what were these people listening to i could i were gulping Down entire courses in music appreciation Vivaldi s greatest Wagner Nibelungenlied digested for no were taking taped courses in two minute and even three minute which would equip them to take control of do general Here were americans with a americans who knew How to make maximum use of they were simultaneously fitting themselves to assume corporate leadership and to reach 60 looking As Good As Gary Grant at i envied these people for their efficient use of time i had always wanted to run ism i dont know except that id always liked the idea of being introduced As the Man who runs so i could then and would you believe i cant Tell a transistor from a transvestite Why were tycoons entitled to the corporate spoils while i had to stand at the pay window and be told that governments had taken it All this particular envy prompted me to turn out at Dawn for another now had a Headset clamped to my in one ear i listened to Mendelssohn for begin in the other a condensation of the bestselling creative accounting and plea bargaining your Way to the that was not in my hand i carried a portable ready to do business in an my family what business who up at Dawn except joggers and policemen finishing the graveyard shift i pointed out that at Dawn the London Gold Market had already been open for but youre a Complete idiot about markets of All said a family member who prides herself on her observation was responsible for my next Onset of since it started me Reading the Wall Street journal to learn about my you was to Surprise her by coming Back one Dawn to announce that id phoned London and bought a Pound or two of Gold while jogging past Swen sons of in the Wall Street news i Learned about people who raided the Phillips Petroleum one Man made a nifty million profit at it another cleaned up with talk about envy Why Are these people entitled to make millions raiding Phillips Petroleum when i dont even know what Phillips Petroleum is i if i had that million could have been instead of those other two but what would i do with million buy a two bedroom apartment with a window in of that would still leave a several million might be enough to get me outfitted by Cary Grants c 1985 new York times Syndicate in a business by Eugene Sheffer across 43 ship 1 docs shaped 4 take clock Romance 44 homeless 7 Deuce child beater 46 silly one 11 columnist 50 venetian Barrett magistrate 13 skater 53 order Babilonia member 14 Busy place 55 unique 61 drunkard Down Icoy 2 philippine moslem 3 wild of 4 who argue 15 Riding whip 16 sphere 17 actor Richard 18 Stock up 20 Region 22 charged atom 24 some Are delicious 28 Irish lass 32 actress Dunne 33 javanese tree 34 Young boy 36 privy to 37 machine tool 39 ships Stabilizer 41 hypo thesis 5 Pasternak heroine 6 sign after person Virgo 56 affirm 7 butt of 57 actor jokes Marvin 8 equip 58 hauls 9missgabor 59 Sweet 10 Strong potatoes urge 60 crows 12 they bring Cousin May Flowers solution time 22 41 to saturdays 19 female Antelope 21finial 23 Badminton need 25 miss Home 26 Adams grandson 27 dispatched 28 offbeat religion 29 colourful fish 30 tardy 31 catch a Crook 35 actor Duryea 38 epoch 40 support 42 cede 45fidos Tormentor 47 Burden 48 utahs Flower 49 formerly 50 Dennis or Doris 51 eggs 52 jewel 54 London suburb Hubert 1 Peary Hap him pint i Ere us Civ t off with at6npouar Els