European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - April 29, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse                                April 1985 the stars and stripes Page 17 Moderie living elusive threads of marital Bliss by Daniel Goleman new York times in the psychological web that is mar there is no sure Way to know which threads Are crucial for happiness and which Are but new research is revealing some of the hidden ingredients of Happy such elements As a couples ability to talk Over prob lems the research Are More crucial to and Are often More telling in the Long than even How much a couple is in such findings Are being used As the basis for educational programs for couples who Are about to be to be there is no single formula for marital for every Rule of thumb that psychological research there Are bound to be marriages that defy while the ingredients of marital happiness Are the new research highlights Broad patterns that distinguish Between those marriages that thrive and those that for studies have found that one of the strongest predictors of Success after five years of marriage is How Well a couple communicated before they according to the same How Happy a couple were before marriage was unrelated to How Long the marriage what counts in making a Happy said George Levinger of the University of is not so much How compatible you but How you Deal with Early marital research focused on finding the personality profiles of individuals who would fit together Over the years that Effort was largely abandoned re searchers found no Clear relationship Between personality traits and marital although the prevailing View among some psychotherapists is that marital difficulties result from psychological problems in one partner or the the consensus among most marital researchers is that personality is less crucial to marital Success than is the nature of the relationship As Nathan a pioneering family therapist put even two neurotics can have a Happy As Long ago As Lewis a Stanford University psychologist who was better known for his stud ies of published findings he hoped would bring clarity to what he called the chaos of opinion on the Determiners of marital Terman discovered that most of the opinions of the Day on what was required for a Happy marriage were dead for his research discovered Little or no relationship Between the frequency of sexual Intercourse and marital that finding has held up Over the in a 1978 study of 100 happily married it was found that 8 percent had Intercourse less than once a and close to a Quarter reported having Intercourse two or three times a most couples reported having Intercourse one to three times a two of the couples had no while for one couple the rate was on third of the men and two thirds of the women reported a sexual such As difficulty getting an erection in men and difficulty reaching orgasm in and both men and women complained of such difficulties As inability to relax and a Lack of interest in sexual even though the couples with sexual complaints re ported being dissatisfied with their sex they still Felt their marriage to be working and the seeds of later marital Success or failure can be detected in the earliest stages of a according to Howard a psychologist at the University of Den writing in marital interaction Guilford Markman reports on a study in which 26 couples were regularly observed while discussing their problems Over a period of almost six beginning just before their by the end of the eight of the couples had separated or the Best predictor of the couples satisfaction after years of marriage was How Well they communicated before the other research has found that happily married couples seem to develop a private a set of Subtle cues and private words that have meaning Only to researchers at the University of Illinois found that in Happy marriages husbands were much better than were strangers at understanding exactly what their wives but in distressed strangers were As adept at understanding messages from wives As were their own happily married couples show a High degree of responsiveness to each other in sharing events of the the absence of such responsiveness can Lead to heightened ten according to John the Leader of the research group at the University of Gottman said he believes the Friendship built up through such Day today exchanges makes couples will ing to go through the difficulties of repairing their relationship when it becomes one of the striking differences Between the satisfied and distressed couples in the University of Den ver study was in How the spouses viewed their in a series of Markman and his colleagues had both objective observers and the partners themselves rate How positive or negative a couple was during discussions of in Happy the ratings by the partners were about the same As those by the Independent with the couple tending to see their interaction As slightly More treating premenstrual syndrome by Elizabeth Pennisi United press International premenstrual syndrome can have violent women in its throes have smashed car thrown to sets through locked out tardy husbands and attempted most other women with pms simply suffer mood food painful swollen Abdomen or which affects an estimated five to 10 percent of All is taken seriously now As a legitimate re search topic but for family and friends of victims and the victims it remains a the appearance of symptoms at different times in the the variation in response to medications and ambiguous results results indicate that there May More than one said Stephen director of the pms pro Gram at Vanderbilt in some doctors think brain chemicals Are others believe hormonal abnormalities Are the culprit and swear by treating women with one of the but the food and drug administration has not approved the drug for this and even the strongest proponents admit scientific substantiation of its value is now in Many the first step to treating pms is keeping a daily log of physical and mental and events Over several menstrual often the logs themselves have a therapeutic since they document mood changes and restore some sense of aware if not Over their this is important because women who have pms feel guilty because they Are behaving in a Way that makes them feel that they have lost lost there is a sense of Entman everyone goes through such behavioural but women with pms seem to do so in synchrony with menstrual studies in the area May help scientists learn about general behaviour As Well As that of women with said David Rubinow of the National Institute of mental health in pms symptoms usually appear during the second part of the menstrual Cycle and end when bleeding said but some women have symptoms before and around the time the egg is then feel Fine until just before menstrual flow the pattern varies from woman to but in each is usually fairly consistent each the Vanderbilt researchers identified two groups of pms in one the progesterone Levels never go As High As those in Normal women and drop off More steeply in the smaller women have higher than Normal Levels of a build ing Block for another for the first progesterone is an appropriate medication and has worked for about 85 percent of the 300 Low progesterone women treated in the Vanderbilt Entman for the latter anti Androgen therapy has a 50 percent to 60 percent Success Many women say that Vitamin b6 even though research indicates it Doest make much said the Vitamin should not be taken in Large quantities since too much can cause tremors and nerve doctors prescribe diuretics and antidepressant medication taken daily or else before or during the premenstrual Erm Bombeck t hey Arent off the the Assembly line but already men Are beginning to salivate Over the new cars coming out next there Al ready lusting for Astro Aero stars and for Over 30 Ive been waiting for the coming of the a car that would transport children and mothers in some kind of its been etched in the drawing Board of my mind for so Long i can close my eyes and see it would be a two Story designed along the lines of a Boeing the Driver would sit on the second level in a carpeted area behind a locked there would be a Small phone and bunk bed for Long traffic lights and those times at the school when practice ran the first level would be enclosed entirely by Glass Louvres that opened out into 43 separate Chil Dren would sit on carpeted risers so there would be no seats to the windows would be controlled by a computer near the Drivers if arguments the Driver could open the causing extreme Bug damage to the Teeth and for a moment take their breath a Large Hole in the Center of the floor would have the suction of a major As soon As something was airborne a Candy the item would be sucked into the thus keep ing the area for those wonderful moments when mothers Are teaching their teenagers How to i visualize the Turbo its a compact car with sensor lights that set off an alarm whenever a car comes within three feet of the Interior is divided into two the Drivers Side has a steering Brake and the passenger Side is a Small Complete with Kneeler and religious there is an Industry a strength floor and an imaginary when the door is a cassette is activated of a Baptist choir when the Roll is called up yonder ill be the car splits in half and runs independently when a Siren is in my in working on another car design for women whose kids borrow theirs because their father works and needs i Call it the Cinderella so during the Day when the Mother uses the its your Basic sports Model with velour Matching shag car clean ashtrays and a litter bag hanging from the radio when it is driven by anyone to whom you have Given on the stroke of Midnight the radio dials become a Light goes on that reads buy and the Driver is Given 30 minutes to get Home before it turns into a Ive got a lot of great ideas on a camper that would House four children and two adults on a family but the ejection seats need c c los Angeles times 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