European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - May 27, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse                                May 1985 the stars and stripes Page 17 modern living a misguided love of animals by Bill Eichmann United press International an american Black sits tamely in the Corner of her tiny eating peanuts from the hands of humans and Mug Ging for get Sissy commands attendant Willard holding a Peanut High so a visitor can see the Bear beg for Sissy lives alone in a Chai linked Cage with an old Bathtub in the Back for the Cage sits under a live Bear sign on Highway 441 near catching the Eye of tourists passing through the great Smoky mountains in the Western Corner of North who obviously enjoys Sissy sets no Price for admission to his Bear he charges Only whatever you want to humane society officials say the Price is too High for Sissy and other animals in similar situations across the United there Are still a lot of Road Side menagerie Type places across the nation that Are ripoffs As far As were con said Nancy Blaney of the humane society of the United in some the Public might pay an admission fee to feed the animals a doughnut or the conditions Are very poor in these a Bear or a lion just sits there in a Cage or on a Concrete slab with Walls around generally the nutrition is one of the biggest the Public gets nothing out of and the Ani Mals certainly get nothing out of its a very negative learning these Roadside menagerie Are often found in tourist areas or along main High tourism makes the South the but every state has its in Many a single animal will sit in a Cage or pen merely As a drawing card to attract customers to a Gas station or a trading Post next Blaney in other people have accumulated a Small collection of exotic animals and put them on the problem is most operators of such menagerie do not have sufficient funds or the knowhow to do it humane society officials have horror files on gorillas kept on Dis play in the Back of Deer try ing to Graze in a grass less paddock and a kept alive by a menagerie owner who fed the great cat an Ostrich from a nearby Erm Bombeck a lot of these people think theres nothing wrong with what there Blaney they think the animals have it better with them than they would in the Many of these people really do have even if its misguided a love for its just that there changeling it in the wrong alligators and Llamas Are popular Roadside attract mutations two headed three legged cows can still be found in some places despite Laws in the Many states barring the exhibition of deformed even More than the fact that people would show off deformed animals is the fact that people would pay to see said Marc director for the Southeast regional office of the humane society of the United estimates show More than Roadside menagerie exist Many of them according to humane society officials housing creatures in ghastly con what appears horrible to Ani Mal rights activists is not necessarily against the the department of agriculture has the task of enforcing the animal welfare legislation enacted in 1966 to protect animals procured for Laboratory research and later amended to cover animals in zoos and Small time the animal welfare act helped but has failed to wipe out All incidents of Ani Mal the Law is Broad in spectrum say humane society officials and directs the us a to develop regulations assuring humane care and treatment of making finding culprits and defining violations is difficult for the us a since the Agency must Deal Exten sively with other animal particularly farm us a spokes Man Max Heppner said the Agency de votes no More than 1 percent of its time and Money toward Roadside while humane society officials consider badly run zoos Heppner says such operations Are not our biggest problem but a persistent we enforce the animal welfare act to the limit of our funds and Heppner i would say the problem is an interpretation of minimum the Urdas Job is confounded by other for Cherokee is an Indian reservation that is off limits to state wildlife Federal authorities have but the Issue is a Touchy tourism is vital for Many cherokees and the removal of animal attractions could mean a loss of tourist if we run across a place that is barely keeping above minimum we have a said Are we going to close it Down and ruin someones or Are we going to let it go on longer on the basis of promises that sooner or later things will get better humane society officials say the problems is a combination of vagueness of the animal welfare act and a Lack of enforcement by the Heppner and us a inspectors there Are about nationwide to Check All animals under the Urdas jurisdiction arc doing their Job according to the there have been significant in but were at an impasse with these Roadside said the humane so Cletys the Only changes we can make Are legislative were just not going to be Able to change these peo Ples we can either make it Ille Gal or make it economically i know were not going into the next Century with As Many Roadside but from wrestling bears to fighting Kanga theres always somebody who going to dream up these up photo this Bear lives in a Concrete pit in conditions which Are of concern to the humane they Call them empty whenever you go on a authors of Cook books and leaders of seminars act like there gifts from the you can have All the celery you can big Deal you can have unlimited what a you can eat car rots until you so the Only Way i can survive a diet is to go by my own this is Bombeck calorie counter for the woman of please know there Are no calories in anything you eat standing this includes stuffing yourself in front of the eating Over the sink or munching in a checkout i Call it aerobic tasting is considered empty if you open up a Carton of Khalfan half to see if it is this is consid ered mercy sampling even if you drink half of it to make the same applies to spoonfuls of Spaghetti Chili or Hollan Daise also to pots and pans containing icing and pie cleaning up the plates of your children has calories that dont this Falls in the category of redistribution of food and you should not be charged for foods you dont like cannot be added to your caloric this is called forced nourishment and includes food you ordinarily would not eat but Are forced to do so or in this category Are airline food and hours oeuvres that look like bait but will sustain you until you eat dinner at no self respecting Dieter would count Courtesy these Are the foods that you simply cannot refuse lest you be considered the housewives in supermarkets who hand you cheese samples and wedges of pizza to the Butcher who gives you pastrami to and All those Little girl scouts hustling cookies to Benefit their i have never understood How people can consider real calories in anything you eat when you Are Good youve got enough problems without tallying up that disgusting piece of cold Toast and that quivering mass of there nothing More than staff of life a lot of people have challenged me on the corporate but i still maintain when some one stops at your desk and asks you to share her birthday cake or a fresh croissant baked by her 90yearold Moth these should not be considered a breach of your you keep refusing and you could end up in the inactive personnel i dont have to defend this theory anymore than i have to explain Why i left the delivery room with a seven Pound gain c c us Angeles times Syndicate