European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - June 7, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 18 the stars and stripes june mrs today crossword his preference of grass is squashed by Russell Baker new York not we arc in a rustic a town whose houses have lawns whose main crop is not the most pointless crop you can but a close second after or so it had always seemed to me until 90 minutes since then i have been reflecting that even Zucchini May be preferable to the big argument in Zucchini favor is that Zucchini Doest have to be or so i am now at i think this what i was told when i phoned a Zucchini grower named Lydon to ask How he manages his i Low often do you mow your Lydon i is thai the concorde taking off in your backyard he mows that the he the set that famous for being the father and Mother of sounds like its flying through your the conversation went on like i was finally Able to explain that what he was hearing Over my phone was not the famous As the father and Mother of but the sound of the Lawn next door being snowed it snowed on the nextdoor Lawn he Lydon Lawn being mowed i what kind of fool would mow the Zucchini he famous for his ruthlessness in the growing of Lydon naturally assumed that anybody with a Lawn would take advantage of such Luck to expand the Zucchini do you mean you dont have to mow the Zucchini once a week i you mow the would you said is this some kind of with which he Discon and from which i deduced that maybe Zucchini did have at least one advantage Over grass to it did not expose everybody in its neighbourhood to brain damage wrought by machinery that could Challenge the concorde title to father and Mother of until grass had always seemed the lesser pointless though grass May people who grow the stuff never bring it to you in Bushel baskets after harvesting and stand around proudly until you Tell them How Happy you Are going to be when the time comes to eat these last 90 minutes have challenged that although in grass one has to concede that it is not grass itself that has raised it to new Heights of odium among the blame for that rests on the new manmade machinery required for the always absurd mowing the most hideous of these machines is a Lawn edging it consists of a Small gasoline engine attached to a Long aluminium this engine drives a wheel around which a lot of plastic string is the spinning of the wheel causes the plastic string to whip about at High Speed and Cut the grass at the Lawn where it is too hard to drive a thunderous gasoline powered Lawn until edging a grass Lawn was done with a and therefore pair of Metal hand clip pers activated by a human on hands and though an absurd it did not threaten the sanity of the neighbors and May even have been therapeutic for the since the sort of person insecure enough to worry that his neighbors May sneer at his Lawn unless it has a neat haircut could doubtless profit from the humility to be Savoured by spending 20 minutes on hands and i speak of 20 minutes because that is the amount of time it would take a human on hands and Knees with clippers to Edge the nextdoor the Young woman who is doing it with plastic string and internal combus Tion engine has been at it for 90 and whether she will Ever finish seems Here we have a representative Sample of Progress in its relentless backward March a superfluous task that once afforded a few minutes of Light exercise and peace of mind to persons with a Little time to waste has thanks to the retrogressive Miracle of trans formed into a practically endless piece of human Subjec Tion to a nerve shattering machine not Content with prolonging its operators manages to destroy the peace of an entire thus does the mechanical turn the inedible into the say it aint Evangeline by Jim Fain Washington salvation army faces inquiry Over the headline and All us True believers clutched our chests and say it aint the Good humor Man May screech Santa Claus molest children or Robin Hood Rob a foundling but the salvation army is we May As Well All give up and join the fret if there is a taint its the Mere Trace that lets you know these Samaritans Are for real and not just a makeup fairy a dealer in Philadelphia has been Selling second hand clothing and there Are charges that a salvation army officers received payments for guaranteeing him a steady we will know better what to make of that when the details Are but i will testify on any Street Corner that the least materialistic Folk in this Bauble worshipping society Are those cheerful trombone and Tambourine players who Soldier under the Banner of All the generals i once served on the finance committee of a salvation army and i have known people who believed so firmly and with so Little evidence that the lord indeed does the major in command was a Man of infinite Trust and Faith whose understanding of mathematics was based entirely on the parable of the two Little fishes and five loaves of a Gimle eyed Bank chairman and i tried annually to Massage his numbers before we turned his budget Over to the United ways pinched lip but that was a mistake on several for nobody Ever believed his overhead was As Low As it he got a salary of a along with his his troops were scaled Down from the major loved to meet human needs and had not the slightest idea what a whole Bunch of nines added up though patient and courteous to the banker and he viewed the with its line totals and subcategories As some kind of secular ritual to be endured with the fortitude of a missionary watching a Pagan he Laboured to assemble numbers we thought might loosen the United ways but his heart want in events invariably proved him when the hearing his cheerful ineptitude totally disarmed the Budge Teers and led them to listen aptly while he broke the rules and talked passionately about they usually gave him almost the entire pittance we freeing him to get Back in the army battered pickup and collect nearly spoiled food from the old clothes and anything else noon and he fed the clothed the sheltered the homeless and dried out the treating them All with compassion and whatever firmness they nobody Ever did More with less to look after the when the flood tide of homeless hit a few years our major was out caging warehouse space for shelters before most even knew they needed like his fellow he had an overt horizon radar for spotting human if there Are a few bad apples the first in the army 120year history not to this is one barrel they cant there a certain kind of goodness that asks nothing for itself and totally incur c Cox news service a a Kjall is in i just cubism by Eugene Sheffer across 35 Tea Type 1 part 36 picture 4 victim Puzzle 8 tie 37 old car 12 loss starter puzzled 40 noted 13 Steak surrealist order 41 mine find 14 where All 42 roads Lead 46 assist 15 sweater 47 Arm Bone Type 17 March time 18 seep 19 occur rence 20 egg 22 like it hot 24 nuisance 25 Birds Wattle 29 before 48 conceit 49 refuse 50 noted designer 51 gender Down 1 Caulde 2 Airport 3 bar Hopper 4 trophy Spury 6 pitching 7 longing 8 impelled 9 cycled 10 you said it 19 Down under Birds 20 Oil 21 actress Miles 22 meal starter 23 test Type 25 Bat abode 26 Short rifles 27 islands feast 28 newts 30 Rube 30 footballs George 31 Wieder Sehen 32 Rio happening 34 Doggone 11 go Young 33 16 idiot perhaps solution time 23 Sandwich shop 36 Airport device 37 dressed 38 Bath garb 39 Yemen capital 40 Bond foe 42 cows chaw 43 actress Macgraw 44 longevity 45 Bagel Topper answer to yesterdays 20 29 it 41 46 4t 21 18 39 13 16 33 35 30 25 42 47 50 22 43 23 40 19 36 14 17 34 26 31 48 51 10 27 11 28 44 45 67 Hubert How pc you like new Hubert 67 not much 5lack in
