European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - July 4, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns stars and bars photo by Peter Jaeger theres no great White Hope for this culture by John kominick1 staff columnist comedian Martin mull is busily at work on a series of Cable television programs honouring the lifestyle and achievements of White its High those of other racial persuasions May not realize but us White Folk Are responsible for a string of important cultural like twinkies and Smiley pet the eve popular Macaroni and mulls designed to explore the misconceptions and habits of White will feature such surefire hits As the White Peoples Barbecue plus take a look at the essential White its sort of like David Attenborough meets the beavers he the comedian plans to tackle some of the biggies of the caucasian culture Ritz White bread and Mayonnaise so its sure to be a comprehensive trek into whats mull is certain to miss some of the most obvious White a few of the things that make White allow us to fill in the specifically the Paisley pyjamas Are universally worn by White men after age or once they realize How ugly their bodies have whichever comes the rationale seems to be that even the dark cant hide a truly out shape White hispanics dont Wear Blacks dont Wear and have you Ever seen a samoan in pjs i doubt the chinese Wear them during the but that Doest highwater strictly White its Only White people who dont seem to care when four inches of sock is to top it White people have really ugly i dont know other races avoid anything that even suggests this is Why the Low rider is not a White Board White people seem perfectly Content with sitting around rolling Dice and moving Little plastic pieces around a chunk of this is their idea of winning in there Are Many really White games Candy land and monopoly Are right up there but the game of risk is the Check out that game owning South America is Worth Only two holding All of Africa gets you a Lousy three and if you hold predominantly White Europe or the United states five need we say More the preferred snack when playing Board games Oval Tine and a hostess new i can attest to the fact that Only Whites live in new i also happen to know that none of the other races Are it is difficult to an american Indian walking around in Public with a Only a White Man would get a trim that resembles the inside of a Fuller Brush display and goop up the Little hairs in front with a stick of Butch its hawaiians have their luaus and the mexicans their Whites go on picnics Are mundane affairs where everyone crowds together on an old army Blanket and eats Pimento loaf on wonder sometimes there Are devised maybe a couple of Sweet after the picnickers take a then everyone plays Lawn that a White persons idea of jazzing up a picnic is making the sandwiches with jewish Pink the classic Lawn a Pink Flamingo says White louder than a rerun of Ozzie and ditto for Lawn gnomes and the famed jockey with a other White institutions Bowcut stretch teenage John the americas cup petting Perry Dodge station wagons and Florence All making it pretty difficult not to realize that being White is just As ridiculous As being any other pass the jury stripes Magazine