European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - August 2, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 18 the stars and stripes August 1985 columns joining the ranks of writers by Russell Baker writers have to do something besides write or Hemen will think they Are this is Why honest Heming Way went around shooting things and attending there Are Many other famous George for he tries to play the game with professional Woody Allen makes David halic Starn John Irving or used to Norman Mailer has run for mayor of new made a gotten arrested for a right my own a Areca As a writer was gravely hampered at first by my refusal to develop a sideline when i first took up the i scoffed at the writing men of could one imagine Henry James plodding around in the Hemingway shooting poor inoffensive beasts Marcel 1 pointed had written profusely without playing quarterback for the Detroit Lions or pitching to Willie and what about Charles Dickens he would have been outraged if told he ought to take up or or run for mayor because Hemen would think him a panty Waist if he just sat around dribbling what was Good enough for Proust and Dickens was Good enough for i sat around dribbling and of Hemen would not buy my if they wanted to read books written by somebody who didst sweat and struggle at irrelevant sideline Hemen they could read books by women so my Market was taken Over by fran Jane Austen and Edith whose writings were muscular and energetic because they did not have to exhaust themselves going on making pitching to Willie Mays or running for Why keep fighting it i acknowledged the Way of the world and took up a virile there was consternation in the House the Day i Rose from my strode into the parlor with Muscles buckling under the spilled a gallon of White alkyd primer on the aubusson i had decided to take up that was Many years now the years spent scrap ing putting Wall removing wallpaper and smelling like paint thinner at elegant writers conferences have Given my writing a Manly weight if might yet place me among the great this summer if i May share a Confidence i intend to take on Henry the master his portrait of a lady was probably Good enough in its but does America these Days want to read a sexist novel about women in hoop skirts this was the question i asked myself one Day while removing Green and Blue polka Dot wallpaper from a second floor bedroom in a House i had bought so i would have something to paint Between As soon As i asked i realized that the great novel waiting to be written would have to be titled portrait of a and while i scraped hard at a particularly obdurate piece of i silently debated whether it should Bear the subtitle without no clothes such a of would require a satirical but was America ready for a great satirical novel about about what would it be about four weeks have passed since that first conversation with myself believe getting off that polka Dot wallpaper was not it had a Vinyl finish that refused to soak up the hot water applied to and 1 finally had to hit it with a rotary that the trouble with by the time you finish washing the youre too exhausted to sit Down at he and if you sit Down the writing comes out exhausted and like new York times service playing the people1 game by Art Buchwald while Art Buchwald is on vacation we reprint some columns from he travelling can become very unless you can invent games to pass the i was introduced to one by an English Guy who lives in he claims the game was in vented by Graham Greene at a sidewalk cafe on the via its called hating rims explained the idea of the game to you play it in any Public place a sidewalk a Railroad a train or at an air waiting for a you select one person from a someone you dont and you Start to hate i dont i All Well play a game do you see that Man Over there lets hate kims pointed at a Young Man sitting several tables Reading a look at elms the ignorant he Doest read anything but the sports he looks innocent to said Hes a miserable look at Hes trying to get the Hes waving his who does he think he is there Are other people waiting to be served Hes going to order one cup of Coffee and sit there All How cheap can you get now look at the Way Hes ogling the Hes probably a sex ill bet the police would like to get their hands on now Hes put the newspaper on another Hes the kind of person that litters up a Beautiful Doest care about anybody but How 1 hate types like he does look like a bad i bad sort elms said Hes a filthy he Hast taken a Bath in As i was studying an old lady came up to the table and joined the he kissed her on there said that his Hes a i it looks More like Shes his did you notice elms he Hast even asked her what she wants to she probably walked up from the Bottom of the Spanish but do you think he cares Hes spoiled they dont make them any i elms now Hes telling her a pack of can you imagine anyone laughing with his Mother or at her i the waiter is bringing his Mother a it looks like a elms Shes become an Alco Holic because of do you think hell pay for it i not if he can help elms hell Proba Bly think of some excuse and stick his Mother with the after Hes been doing it All his a Man stopped by at the table to say elms became he Doest even bother to introduce him to his Hes ashamed of it i slamming my Glass on the Hes inviting the fellow to sit can you imagine introducing your Mother to a Type like that i in going to poke him in the nose elms suddenly relaxed and seemed to lose interest in the whole he said to me now How about the lady Over there with the dog los Angeles times Syndicate finish this up e Are forwarn6aucam ipod you Mayne f a today crossword by Eugene Sheffer across 1 French Friend 4 opponents 8 Over actors 12 fond do 13 floor covers 14 woodwind 15 Arctic Ocean sights 17 like molasses 18 hardens 19 bows opposite 20 creates 22 Gin Type 24 actor Bates 25 Arctic Glare 29 under stand 30 Vampire scared 31 give the Boot 32 gliding Craft 34 half prefix 35 score Board stat 36 West Pointer 37 arise 40 Pend 41 Overlook 42 float feature 46 perfect Square 47 fool Hardy 48 actress Gardner 49 Seine Summers 50 major ending 51 gender Down 1 the greatest 2 buddy 3 use the rink 4 worries 5 yours and mine 6 goad 7 draft 8 inn 9 competent 10 11 stitched to yesterdays Puzzle 82 solution time 26 16 existed 19 cries 20 biblical travellers 21 actor guinness 22 High Landers 23 not so much 25 Mideast land 26 summer sips 27 Cognomen 28 make sweaters 30 de Grace 33 ruffians 34 stylists concern 36 hide away 37 missing 38 radiate 39 Fork feature 40 Compass Point 42 fury 43 ounce or ocelot 44 Kin 45 the Road Warrior hero 20 37 4t 49 21 38 18 39 16 8222 33 35 13 30 25 42 47 50 22 43 23 40 19 36 8 9 14 17 34 26 31 48 51 10 27 44 11 28 45 82 Hubert Vojir calorie intake 90 what a How much can i on this Sandwich