European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - August 10, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse                                August 1985 the stars and stripes Page 17 family feuding can harm children new York times some feuding parents try to hide their fighting from their children others make a Point of letting their children see that parents do become angry at each there Are who do not seem to care much one Way or the How do these widely varying approaches affect the emotional Well being of children new including a Federal study reported in the june Issue of the journal developmental suggests some open year after is the most Likely to have a decidedly harmful effect on children but not in every in in examining Why children in some anger Ridden families do better than one key finding indicates that there can be some emotional particularly if the children have the Opportunity to freely Exchange thoughts and feelings with their in any behavioural scientists do not encourage extremes of any for shielding children from every parental it is can Lead a child to have an unrealistic View about How people Deal with emotions such As although Many studies have shown that distressed marriages tend to produce troubled the researchers have been looking for specific information about How the children Are a younger child who sees his parents fighting is Likely to be said Robert a child psychiatrist at the University of Colorado medical who does research on emotions in an older child May also feel believing himself to be somehow to Emde All these feelings appear bearable in the Short he but not when hostility continues Over a Long in such the child May become either too prone to angry outbursts or Overly fearful of expressing in one major research the reactions of children to arguments Between their parents is being monitored by psychologists at the National Institute of mental angry confrontations Between which go on for Many create a negative emotional climate that can undermine a Childs psychological said Marian Radke director of the Laboratory of developmental where the research is being it can spill she into problems the child has with which can be among the Early signs of the emotions of these children Are often out of Emde they can turn off becoming losing their sense of curiosity and interest will show up As trouble in learning at he or they can become fearful with or alternate Between being withdrawn and impulsive outbursts of such he become fearful and Erma Beck y husband and i went to Europe recently and found what we thought was probably the last Remote Beach in the there were no boats Bobbing around on the Blue Waters of the Meriter no aircraft on its final approach to no houses nearby that rumbled with the sounds of no highways carrying cars that belched Pollut and no i chose a Rock on the rugged coastline and began to my husband got his put a piece of raw shrimp on a and we sat there in when we heard someone crawling Over the we both a totally was making her Way toward the for a full five Hus band and i turned to Salt she resumed her Way to the searching the Shoreline for at one my husband cleared his Throat and i thought he was going to say but he she entered the water and swam out to a extremely sensitive to signs of if you say the child will you see in children who have been he most developmental psychologists would expect the effects of parental arguing to show up no earlier than when a child is 2 years an age when children show More emotional responses to the interactions of but one study showed that even 1yearolds became distressed when their parents reaction to chronic arguing seems to persist through the even As children continue to be upset by fights Between their according to research by Peter a psychologist at the University of California medical school at san Howard studied 100 single whose average age was he found that when their parents the children though adults themselves tended to get were Likely to feel depressed by hostility Between their just As destructive As relentless or out of control anger Between parents is Seething hostility that is never openly Emde such couples become sullen they show no real interest in each no support or its often hard for them to be More emotionally open with their which puts the child at risk for becoming emotionally the effects on the child of a parental fight depend on the atmosphere in which the fight takes Radke Yarrow if the parents Are aloof and Distant from the she the effects Are Likely to be worse than in the parents Are emotionally available to household projects let the kids help out United press International the kids want to help when a Squirrel or rat gets stuck in the Between the downspout and the House or under the the somehow always also Volunteer when you Start repair projects around the House fixing a plugged broken cracked window squeaky the bless work up their most enthusiasm when you Start a major Doit yourself making re flooring the putting Down putting up track you take them shopping for the materials and when you get Home and begin work they want to jump in with both the cowards Way is to hire a baby Sitter to take the kids to the a the the Library and then to grandmas House for dinner and a the courageous Way is to let the kids get in on the Doit yourself a la togetherness with the kids requires Only a Little according to a child and family studies expert from the University of South Linda an instructor at the University school of applied and professional says for the very Small boys and 2 to 3 years a play tool kit with a plastic wrench and screwdriver is just when dad or mom Are fixing the toddlers can go the pretend helping to repair door in the fix up if the Doit yourself Job involves fill a pail with Reynolds give the kids a let them pretend paint by dipping Brush in water and going through the motions of if the painting is skip the water in the a kids imagination will work just Fine when kid dips the Brush into imaginary paint in the pail and paints a Kitchen floor or Reynolds is a great believer in giving older preschool kids with Good coordination a lightweight Ball Peen Hammer it has a Hammerhead with rounded ends for safety and roofing along with a hunk of the roofing nails have Broad Flat Heads and Are easy to see a cinch to for older five and six and up a some construction work can be using nails and Reynolds said nailing two pieces of Wood together might turn into a the pieces of Wood can be glued together to make other things the real identity perhaps known Only to the creator and never mind if the resultant thing just looks like a lopsided pile of Reynolds said woodworking for Small children is a very valuable experience and both boys and girls should give it a under Rock about 50 feet away and stretched out to catch some my husband turned to me and did you see that she want wearing she could have Cut her feet to ribbons on these you really Are Arent you heres a tramp who invades our space and the Only thing you see Are her tender feet How do you know Shes a tramp he she looks like she has a Nice she has the intelligence of a food you dont know that he when you leave an ankle Bracelet on in Salt water youre not too she obviously comes from a Good pos Sibly How can you possibly arrive at a revelation like that her he its i cannot believe How naive you would you want your son to marry someone with a Tattoo of a Duck on her hip it was not a it was a family Crest of some and Prince Philip has two Lions tattooed on his Why Are you so stubborn about this Woods Tock dropout and Why Are you so vindictive and judgmental about a person you Haven seen fully clothed id like to see her in our she comes into this family and i go i jamming my needlepoint in the is this an ultimatum you bet your Sweet Bird it i Hope you and Ruth out there will be very at that Point a male nude bather wearing Only a wedding ring jumped into the water and joined our Nymph Friend on the my husband now Hes its he struck me As someone who would be very Nice to his c los Angeles times Sydn late