European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - August 23, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 18 the stars and stripes August 1985 columns Bare Rufh about gaining Success by Russell Baker before the cameras invention it was harder for famous people to be seen naked by their fans than it is consider King bad King we Call him because he was portrayed in the movie by Claude Rains and was mean to Flynn playing Robin tic truth about bad King John is More interesting than Warner Brothers dared the production code of Hollywood heyday forbade movies to Deal with such subjects As King Johns desire to be seen in the under the the human urges of the even of Royal stars like King could not be shown on the the truth is that King John was a sensitive Man who wanted to be adored by his people and was saddened about being called bad King having read about he knew about the magician and wondered Why no King had hired one a decent magi he would be Worth two four Earls and a and also much so he traded two four Earls and 12 Barons for a magician from Germany named which angered Carls and Barons All Over thus leading to the Magna but that is another he told his i want my people to Sec the real King the sensitive but magnificently Well built fellow who their Liege ill give it to you straight from the said buttoned up in that with those sequined whatever Down the legs and that Goatee on the Chin makes you look like Claude a real Nono for the decent sensitive youve got to be a Little More King John was not being a he could not know the future would produce Sylvester Stal better known As also better known As Stallone imagine a Sweet Guy everybody Calls Rocky who becomes famous by punching out sides of raw imagine a really swell fellow everybody Calls rambo who can single Anderly wipe out one of the worlds better King John liked what he was i want to be Sweet John and really swell King he what do i Fritz the magicians advice was pretty much what we today might expect if we asked an expert How to succeed in show business without really having any get out of the then take off your Chain mail and let your subjects see what you look like in the naked said the naked As a Jaybird the Jaybird Hast been invented said of course it said the who hated being so have the the the hum the Turkey Buzzard said a slip of the i meant to say the camera Hast been invented if the camera had been it would be easy for the King to go to a studio and prance around in his and afterwards there would be pictures if Only magazines had been could be seen by everybody in thus showing exactly what kind of King they after that 1 would be adored you would be a True like miss Madonna youre talking future and were still in the Stone lets get Down to Stone Fritz had an without the King would have to do nude personal but the Shock might bother the so they would put out some hokum about the King having a new suit of clothes and everybody would be told to stand at the curb when the King first wore and of course everybody would pretend the King was wearing a new but in the meanwhile getting an eyeful of what he looked like in the Buff to but Well real Star the King but fearing the people would not be Lieve their he paid an Urchin to the King has no clothes on after this everybody gazed on the King with prurient curiosity and concluded that he either lacked sound judgment or was centuries ahead of his the As we now was the sad truth of the c new York times a prayer Tor the Humble tourist by Art Buchwald while Buchwald is on vacation we Are reprinting some of his columns from the according to the times of the greek Ortho Dox Church issued a new prayer asking the lord to protect the greek people from the which is to be said by monks and nuns every morning and every goes like this lord Jesus son of have mercy on the the and the villages of Pur orthodox As Well As the holy which Are scourged by the worldly touristic Grace us with a solution to this dramatic problem and protect our Brethren who Are surely tried by the modernistic spirit of these contemporary Western now its Only fair if the monks and nuns Are beseech ing the lord with ant tourist prayers that the tourists get equal so i have written a prayer for tourists that they must recite when they get up in the morning and go to bed at it goes like this heavenly look Down on us your Humble obedient tourist servants who Are doomed to travel this taking mailing buying souvenirs and walking about in drip dry we beseech o to see that our Luggage is not lost and our overweight baggage goes protect us from surly and unscrupulous taxi avaricious and unlicensed English speaking Lead dear to Good inexpensive restaurants where the food is the waiters and the wine included in the Price of the give us the Wisdom to tip correctly in currencies we do not forgive us for under tipping out of ignorance and overtopping out of make the natives love us for what we Are and not for what we can contrib Ute to their worldly Grant us the strength to visit the the Cathe the and the castles listed As musts in the and if perchance we skip a historic Monument to take a Nap after have mercy on for our flesh is part of the prayer is for dear keep our wives from shopping sprees and protect them from bargains they dont need or cant Lead them not into for they know not what they this part of the prayer is for almighty keep our husbands from looking at foreign women and comparing them to save them from making fools of themselves in cafes and above please do not forgive them their for they know exactly what they and when our voyage is and we return to our loved Grant us the favor of finding someone who will look at our Home movies and listen to our so our lives As tourists will not have been in this we ask you in the name of Conrad Thomas Cook and the american c los Angeles times 0abypoc i Shatvo sounds Dowton Watach awtalk1w4s Muht os4 today crossword across 1 bask on the Beach 4 make Over 8 ebb 12 cry to the Matador 13 bards River 14 off in a Way 15 scar face 17 period in office 18 african Antelope 19 tvs Ramsey 21 scottish River 22 noted trumpeter 26 change 29 shatters target 30 Detroit product 31 Ariate 32 official 33 Nota 34 see you in my dreams 35 visit 36 savor by Eugene Sheffer 37 Daisy 55 binary Maes creator 39 French pronoun 40 Deli Choice 41 Critter 45 woe is me 48 scar face Star 50 puerto 51 sea Bird 52 Jiffy 53 Flat 54 base Down 1 warty one 2 want for Christmas 3 bottle part 4 sword 5 elicit 6 put on 7 60 percent 8 Swiss Export 9 reverence 10 and not 11 Shade source to yesterdays Puzzle solution time 26 823 16 calculating Snake 20 actor Ron 23 desserts 24 talk crazily 25 Corner 26 Europe neighbor 27 lounge 28 Bath accessory 29 docs charge 32 goes Over 33 computer language 35 36 lease Holder 38 firebug crime 39 director Frank 42 fog 43 freshly 44 crazy 45 exist 46 actress Uusmann 47 Blackjack half 49 Grants foe 26 27 31 St 45 50 28 46 47 16 21 13 38 40 35 32 48 51 54 29 22 49 20 36 14 17 10 33 23 30 42 52 55 24 25 43 44 823 Hubert Anders pad bought a Mew to with video Remote in Shakti and Here weasel stuck with thi0 old o King features inc world right x2udjust better go and live with ander9