European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - August 26, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse 18 the stars and stripes August 1985 columns comments irs fiends unleash form 5500c by recently i Learned about form if dont fill it out and Send it to the a Friend you could he sent to Federal or have your pants impounded by the or be he was but Only As i found out when i telephoned the iks to ask Why they haunt bothered to Tell me about form its so awful we Bear to Tell people about sail the voice on the so dont ask if you dont want bad of what is life without its daily bad news i decided to bile the Bullet and phoned an Tell me about form 5500c and dont pull any i want the truth with the bark the Good he if you dont have a Keogh you dont have to file form i have a Keogh that bad he because it Means youve got to file form or the feds will impound your big ill file form 5500c and leave my pants if i were he id try to get a couple of pair of pants clandestinely deposited in a numbered Swiss Bank because you could get very cold next january waiting for subways with no pants i hate it when accountants iry to talk All he the really bad news is that form 5500c cannot be Hes got to be the irs would not create a form that cant be the irs is devoted to the Romance of issuing paper when filled can be filed before Midnight so the Filer can escape having his pants the key words in that said the Are when filled form 5500c is so complicated that nobody can fill it out without the assistance of the Board of directors of the financial institution that sold you your particular Keogh i could Sec there might be difficulties getting my Banks officials to sit Down with me around the dining room table for the five or six weeks it customarily takes to fill out an irs if Busy men like them took time to help every customer save his pants from being when would they get time to make bad Loans to bankrupt nations that were hoping to strike Oil by rubbing two dictators together whats said the even if they agreed to drop in and help with the they leave fast when they saw Deauville Deauville is my irs he has been living at my House for the past year or so because of the nature of his might scare off people who dont know How Fine he is and what a Comfort it is having him always there to come Home is Deauville still planted at your dining room table immersed in the secret diary of your love life asked the flow can people think things like that about Deauville he didst read my diary for its torrid tales of but just went through it line by line looking for a confession of unreported he finished the diary weeks ago and is now excavating in my would he have me indicted on charges of morbid curiosity if i asked him Why his outfit wants to make people fill out a form that cant be filled out that night i broke the news to my she is in charge of filling out irs or used to proud of her skill with the forms she but All those months of scurrying around whenever Deauville wanted to know about checks shed written 30 and 40 years ago its left her a bit soft in the she has begun to confuse Deauville with our Long lost twin sons and cannot Bear denying him when he asks if he can use a Fine tooth comb to search her hair for unreported bad i its called form and absolutely must be filled but cant possibly be filled so it looks like its going to be curtains for my pants after the impounding i wonder if you Wear curtains from hip to will the irs consider them impound Able pants possibly not if there very Light and very c new York times checking ouf All the alternatives by James Kilpatrick in the state fairs of my a favorite Midway attraction was the sledgehammer you hit a lever with All your the lever drove a Ball up a wire toward an alarm Bell and if the Bell rang you won a cheap the carnival operator has a sympathetic word for those who he would but no some writers have the same they get close to the right but they just a couple of weeks ago the nations Catholic Bishops and the american jew ish Congress got together on a statement about the rights of parents in the treatment of handicapped their formal statement spoke of the effectiveness of Al Ternate treatments and of choices Between alternate methods of the word they wanted was not alter to speak of alternate treatments is to suggest a treatment in which hot packs alternate with cold or Low protein alternates with High alternate Means every other or every the squares on a chess Board Are alternately Black and alternative is wholly different it implies a Choice among sever Al plans or in the treatment of the alternatives include chemotherapy and for another consider a Story by up out of the Wimbledon Tennis the Story spoke of Boris Beckers incredulous feat of winning the title at age the same Blooper turned up in the Baltimore it was an incredulous wrote the sports that Oakland and Baltimore should be flaying in the championship match of the football the writers didst mean they meant in the Short meaning of incredulous is Skepi it implies a state of mind in which one is unwilling to accept something palpably news of Beckers stunning Victory left some of us incredulous we believe but the Victory itself in an exaggerated incredible the authors were but no let me give you this one from a playbill of the Portland civic theater last actor John Keba sics collegiate studies in business were complimented by courses in speech and what was intended was meaning to supple ment or to the Mobile pres Register had a it reported that fire ants leave a painful whelp is a sore in the Indianapolis we learn that Indiana University has guidelines that list breeches of academic these Are academic breeches that go with academic its unusual these Days to get a misused but one turned up in july in a piece by aps television writer in los Angeles comedian Richard Belzer liter ally Tore a Page from the stage play the Man who came to Belzer figuratively Tore a or metaphorically Tore a but when we say that he literally Tore a Page we mean just that he took the script and ripped out a the Houston chronic Al last month came up with a Lovely confusion of nautical it carried an eight column picture of the cruise ship Royal said the caption its name is in English on the Bow and in greek on the and the landlubber who wrote that line May go to the Stern of the c Universal press 7wo years of work you Hanpa irony cuts ohm Meek on soul up uni shop j k6nd01n6 the some a Lukk today crossword by Eugene Sheffer across 1 warble 5 take Romance 8 actor West 12 arabian ruler 13 born 14 greek cheese 15 Punjab Princess 16 ends the marriage 18 italian town 20 blemishes 21 bridal fabric 23 Conway or Holt 24 amused 28 Pedestal part 31 Daba Honey Moon 32 Worth 34 sesame 35 cast 37 Stock payment 39 morning moisture 41 wriggling Down 42 ammonia 1 will compounds to Juan 45 in Bridge 49 separating 51 audible sigh 52 Solo 53 Bond 54 Glove for Gary Carter 56 True 56 they Loop the Loop 57 greek Mountain 2 moslem priest 3 historic ship 4 openwork grating 5 charged with a crime 6 main Landers souvenir 7 bulgarian coins 8 fearful to saturdays Puzzle sbdsw3 Heidi Al Mhz Khz Oboh Seffl 826 solution time 23 9 destroy a Large part of 10 two fives for 11 state 17 baseball great 19 Macdonald had one 22 uncanny 24 Beaver edifice 25 nigerian 26 River in Chile 27 swerves 29 loud noise 30 North Church 33 Ceramic Square 36 Contra diction 38 Generator 40 marry 42 jewish month 43 muck 44 location 46 ancient greek City 47 narrow channels 48 in Madrid 50 nothing 24 31 35 42 49 52 56 25 43 26 39 21 36 32 40 13 16 37 44 53 56 22 41 50 20 27 45 23 33 14 28 38 51 54 57 34 46 10 29 47 11 30 48 826 Hubert that Model Verv Maram enote the 5mall haute couture looks r2iekid9 amp inexpensive he Sean
