European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 09, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Monday september 9, 1985 the stars and stripes Page 17 teaching teens Good working habits by Patricia Mccormack United press International t Ommy Bright eyes 14. Sets out to Cuttle  picks up Sticks and stones move furniture and other obstructions. He gets on with the mowing in a neat and orderly fashion. When he s finished the turf looks manicured. Joe haphazardly meanwhile also 14, tackles a similar task in a could to care less Way. Taking the line of least resistance he mows around Lawn furniture does t sweep up clippings on sidewalk and drive. He leaves the landscape Messy. The two boys with different approaches to identical tasks May be that Way because of something parents did or did t do to encourage Good work habits. So How do Parent encourage Good work habits researchers at the University of Rochester s Center Tor counselling family and Wor Klile studies have completed an unusual study that helps answer that complicated question. The two types of teen agers doing Yard work in male and female varieties Are encountered in the report on the research by prof. Harold Munson and assistant professor Dale Dannefer from the school s graduate school of education and human development in Rochester. Beyond a Basic level they say it is the Quality of the parents involvement not the Quantity that counts. And parents they advise should get involved in their children s activities but not too involved. The research funded by the William t. Grant foundation focused on four activities Lawn mowing cooking music lessons and sports. They spent More than 200 hours interviewing and observing 27 families in a Rochester suburb. Hora a highlights from their report. Mastering and coping in the family environment. Teens who develop the Best work habits generally come from families where the rules Are explicit and thought out. Lower performers Are More typical of families in which rules Are personalized do it because i say  the Best results occur it parents Are involved in the task learning and not merely in judging the outcome. Modelling instructing supervising and evaluating Are All vital parts of the process. One boy who became skilled at cooking first got interested in this activity As a Young child. His Mother would give him a cup of water or dough to play with while she cooked. Later she let him help with simple chores. Later still she let him take on cooking responsibilities for himself. Although parents involvement has a positive effect on proficiency intrusiveness has a negative Impact. One Mother insisted on hovering Over her teen age daughter even when she was preparing simple packaged meals. As a result the child was unsure of her own ability to carry out even such simple tasks let alone More complicated cooking projects. Paid teen employment typically is less Complex than Home or Leisure activities. Playing Tennis is More complicated than being a Bellboy cooking More Complex than being a waitress. Paid jobs the study concludes often Are not the Best preparation for the world of adult work. In contrast to other activities studied music seems largely unaffected by parental involvement. A reluctant pianist is Likely to remain so no matter How much his parents  him to practice. Whether parents Are Home a lot seems to have Little effect on the development of work skills. Raising children without hardball tactics by Patricia Mccormack United press International polite and humane parents avoid screaming slapping nagging. But the truths that Many parents yell hit or belittle to get the kids to  May be of when training dogs but it s disgusting in the child raising Arena according to or. Kenneth Kaye family therapist and associate professor of psychiatry at Northwestern University medical school in Chicago. Kaye recommends raising children without resorting to hardball tactics for their Sake for your Sake and possibly Down the Road maybe even for the grand lds Sake. His system for turning latent devils into Angels does not involve a magic potion or a password that automatically makes a kid sprout wings and Halo. Rather it is based on restricting a child s Freedom when rules Are broken and expanding Freedom As he or she proves to be increasingly responsible. To Amto for the system of raising responsible children is Rutes that Are custom designed by each family. Kaye recommends that parents come up with rules that Are clearly written understood and applied consistently. No waffling. No matter what. The Bash rules to rub out the need for Ocie among tapping nagging May be modified however As family the improves. The improvement you see naturally will reduce the need to fall Back on dog Trainer methods. Kaye who says his system of disciplining works every time describes his stratagems in family rules Walker $18.95. Parents need to learn to apply three principles of psychology family relations and child development to get on Kaye s family Rule track. The principles children ilk adults make responsible decisions when they feel a sense of High self esteem. Children ilk adult respond poorly to criticism of their personalities but will respond readily to suggestions on How they can change specific behaviour. Children ilk adult choose to act in ways that Lead to pleasant consequences. More Freedom for example. Kaye who says self esteem begins at 1." says children Are not a constant of. They Are often a great Deal of aggravation and worry he notes. To help them grow into Happy sell respecting adults we try to be patient understanding generous parents. Yet these Virtues Are not enough. They can produce irresponsible unhappy children unless we also show firmness consistency and clarity. Children need the Security of clearly enforced rules before they can begin to handle  in the Book Kaye walks parents through the process of Rule making and shows How to execute the rules once arrived at. It is not a formula that can be printed on a Cereal Box. Why not the process he recommends is complicated and must be understood before it can be applied correctly. Reading through the Case histories in the Book one learns the ropes. Kaye also provides special advice for step parents single parents and divorced parents who May want to adopt the Rule making system. This system has helped Many different kinds of  Kaye says. Some were families whom i counselled when their kids were Only mildly obnoxious others were in deep trouble. I cannot claim much originality Lor the system. Every Day. Thousands of family Counselor help parents to draw up lists of rules for their  if your family is having a crisis Kaye recommends professional help. I decided to write this Book when i realized that for every family in need of professional counselling there Are dozens of other parents who can put a system of rules to work before a crisis occurs with far less emotional and financial  for help in time of crisis the american Academy of child psychiatry recommends parents ask the family doctor paediatrician or local medical society to refer them to a child psychiatrist. These Are doctors with five years of advanced training in general and child psychiatry. Child psychiatrists diagnose and treat physical As Well As emotional problems. Erma Bombyk a i. Walked into an aerobics class the other Day after an absence of three years and the instructor s first words were listen to your  stopped and did t breathe for a moment. Athirst i did t hear anything. Then i heard my Stom Ach whisper my Godl what is that it s you i said. You re looking into a  a i told you once i told you a million times it growled. No mirrors just shut up and contract i said. At that moment my arms said. You think you be got trouble. Try touching your Elbow to your knee. You la get used to it i said. Sure and How Many Calls do you think i m going to get for that i m telling you it s a  just then my buttocks which had been in a for 30 seconds said. Honey. I Hope you know what you re doing. After three years of just hanging out Back Here you can t expect miracles in one session. Will you sit on it said my Knees. You Don t know what pain is until you Start pulsating in a squad. Does she know what she s doing does she Ever asked my hip joints. She just tried to  me off the floor with that Moose of a  did i hear my name mentioned asked my leg. Look sweetie it s no Day at the Beach for me. Every time she lifts me up i run into stomach  Tell me about it gasped my stomach. She s sucked me in for three years and nothing moves any More. Of of hang on they re playing the theme from  what does that mean asked my Abdomen. You la find out said my stomach. It s the old Pelvic tilt. Where Are the lungs out to lunch i m Herel i m Herel gasped my lungs. And i m ready to burst. At least once in a while All of you get a rest but not me of. Come on said my feet. You Haven t done anything in three years. The last time you breathed this hard was when she took seconds on a chocolate  easy for you to say said my legs but i m the one who s going to be up All night with acute champs. She has so Many varicose veins now that the Back of my Knees look like a Bas Relief map of  you wanta walk Down memory Lane there was a time when i used to  who s that talking asked a thigh. It s the  said the stomach. I thought she was  will All of you Knock it Oft i shouted. I can t hear the music. What was that did someone say it Felt Good the Nymph exercising next to me said that was my body  i moved away quickly. I did t want my body talking to hers. In a recent column it was stated that Brenda Dick son on the Young and the restless walked off the set during a taping after announcing on camera that she had quit. Dickson and the producers have informed the column that this incident did not occur and she is still on the show. O Loi Angetti Tolmei syndic not