European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 13, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 18 the stars and stripes Friday september 13, 1985 columns today s crossword Castro As the new Herbert Hoover by rv3sf.1.l Baker new York the Triumph of Republican conservatism hits produced remarkable cultural changes. Who. For example is the Man everyone now loves to Hiss i Jacl Castro of course. Of course. Great political movements always require a villain in chief a Hobgoblin who can be summoned to revive inc faithful when their juices have grown sluggish with too much Triumph. When liberalism and demo craps ruled the nation the villain in chief was Herbert Hoover. Fidel Castro is the new Herbert Hoover. Democrats and liberalism could have had Fidel Cas Tro themselves at one time but they were afraid he was bad Luck. President Kennedy Democrat Liberal by today s definition got into 3 terrible mess trying to destroy Fidel Castro militarily at the Bay of pigs. Afterwards Kennedy let the Cia try to make Fidel Castro s Beard fall out. It did t work. So he let the Cia traffic with mafia hit men to murder Fidel Castro. Another failure. After that the democrats fell  by Fidel Castro. Sure on political campaigns they went to cuban Miami and said they hated Fidel Castro but that was not like the old Days when they crisscrossed the continent get Ting the masses to Hiss Herbert Hoover for causing the great depression. Herbert Hoover was Good Luck for democrats and liberalism i and a curse to republicans and conservatism. At the end when time had done its awful work and most voters probably did t know Herbert Hoover from j. Edgar and thought the great depression was a geological curiosity on the Moon liberalism and democrats still could not produce a new villain in chief. Fidel Castro was there for conservatism to take and it made him the new Herbert Hoover. What is his villainy he is exporting communism. You must not ask what that Means. You must t say but Haven t bearded Long winded men been exporting communism Ever since Karl Marx the Beauty of having a really top drawer villain in chief is that people who ask sensible questions can be hissed just As enthusiastically Tor being sensible As the villain in chief can be hissed for being villainous. If you Are a wrinkled person you May recall Youssif hissing the occasional rational inquirer who said but precisely what did Herbert Hoover do that caused the great depression these things things like changing villains in chief arc cultural things. Nol rational things. They Are not to be thought about they arc to be enjoyed As pleasurable evidence of democracy s ability to endure no matter what you hit it with. There arc other fascinating cultural changes. The old bleeding hear Liberal for instance is being driven off the political map by victorious conservatism just Asef festively As neighbourhood shoe repair shops arc being pushed off Manhattan Island by triumphant real estate ism. The bleeding heart Liberal is now replaced by the Stony heart conservative. The difference in the old Days if a broken Down horse collapsed in the Street the bleeding heart Liberal lobbied the government to set up a National network of nursing stables where broken Down horses could spend their declining years in com fort and dignity. Nowadays seeing the collapsed horse the Stony heart conservative orders a study to a i Carminc How Many broken Down horses per week collapse at that location and if the figure is promising borrows capital to build a glue factory on the site. The knee Jerk Liberal is nol quite gone but almost. How conservatives used to love getting together at the club and laughing about the latest knee Jerk Liberal tomfoolery. Little did they know that political nature abhors a vacuum so that after conservatism did away with knee Jerk liberals the country raised up armies of knee Jerk conservatives. It was Only last Spring that triumphant conservatives were sneering at the usual knee Jerk Liberal reluctance to punish Nicaragua for letting Fidel Castro Export communism. Hard headed conservatism required us to be actively interventionist in the cause of democracy did it not it did not. Since an actively interventionist economic policy toward South Africa was proposed this summer knee Jerk conservatism has made nonsense of logic. For reasons which conservatives will sit up All night explain ing to you if you Are not careful to have a prior engagement conservatism approves repressive government in South Africa and detests repressive government in Nicaragua. As the politicians say in Chicago plus Ca change plus c est la Meme  c new York times efforts to make kindness contagious by Art Buchwald while Buchwald is on vacation we arc reprinting some of his columns from the past i was in new York recently and took a ride with a Friend of mine in a taxi. When pc got out of the cab my Friend said to the Driver thank you for the ride. You did a Superb Job of  the taxi Driver was stunned for a second. Then he said arc you a Wise Guy or something no my dear Man and i m nol putting you on. I Admire inc Way you keep your Cool in heavy  sch the Driver said and drove off. Whal was that All about 1 asked. I am trying to bring love Back to new York he said. I believe it s the Only thing Hal can save the  How can one Man save new York it s nol one Man. I believe i have made that taxi Driver Day. Suppose he has 20 fares. He s going to be Nice to those 20 fares because someone was Nice to him. Those fares in turn will be Kinder to their employees or shopkeepers or waiters or even their own families. They in turn will be nicer to other people. Eventually the Good will could spread to at least 1,000 people. Now that in t bad is it but you re depending on that taxi Driver to pass your Good will to  i m not depending on it my Friend ibid. I m aware that the system in t foolproof. I might Deal with 10 different people today. If out of 10,1 can make three Happy then eventually i can indirectly influence the attitudes of 3,000  it sounds Good on paper i admitted but i m not sure it works in practice. Nothing is lost if it does t. It did t take any of my time to Tell that Man he was doing a Good Job. He neither received a larger tip nor a smaller one. If it fell on deaf ears so what tomorrow there will be another taxi Driver i can try to make  Bui you can t do this All alone i protes cd. You re just one  the most important thing is not to get discouraged. Making people in the City become kind again is not an easy Job bul if i can enlist other people in my Campaign. You just winked at a very Plain looking woman i said. Yes i know he replied. 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