European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - October 30, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Daiv i Magazine table manners casualty of changing times by William r. Greer new York times c compared with the table manners of peasants and Kings in the Middle Ages when people mistrusted Forks and other eating equipment those of today Young people represent a period of High manners. But that s not saying much. I went to Harvard and i saw just horrible  said 25-year-old Mary Elizabeth Mcnary of Newton. Mass. One time. I saw a Guy take one of those squares of cake the ones with the Pink frosting and Cut off a Large bite with his Fork then pick up the bite with his hand Harpoon it on the Lork and stuff it in his Mouth. I maintained stricken  the nation restaurants and corporate dining Halls it seems Are filled these Days with men and women in their 20s and 30s who hold their Forks like shovels and their knives like saws. They reach across one another for the butter or the Salt neglect to pass the bread Start eating before others Are served tuck their napkins in their collars or forget them altogether and wave their utensils around like Little flags at a Parade. Over the last 20 years the fundamentals of table manners Maneu vers intended to keep the appetites of dining companions intact like closing the Mouth to Che and sipping without slurping seem to have been lost on Many of America s Young people. In addition a number of these Young people seem unaware of the very essence of Good manners which is not to offend according to the experts. The Way in which you furn a knife is relative and it varies from culture to culture said Ray Birdwhistle on anthropologist at the University of Pennsylvania. Manners Are merely a set of rules that allow you to engage in a social ritual. They Are a Way of telling the other person that it is an Honor to be Able to eat with them. But that is also one of the reasons adolescents use them As a Way of rebellion As a Point of hostility. Historians sociologists teachers and etiquette experts say dining standards have reached a Low Lor this Century. For an explanation they cite the demise of the traditional evening meal when families gathered to eat and parents were Quick to pounce on errant manners. They Alm Point to the growth of fast food and ready to eat meals and the fact that individual Freedom has come to be valued Over decorum. Most of the Young people who Como 1o the major business schools have never really thought about table manners said Curtis w. Tarr the Dean of the Johnson school of management at Cornell University. Until a year ago. To was a corporate executive. Even in the officers dining room they look around and say what is All this and How Rio you use these " said Tarr. There is considerably less concern today about table manners than in previous  said Norman Goodman chairman of the sociology department at the state University of new York at Stony Brook. There is simply no easy acceptance of social niceties  i am absolutely  said William h. Placko an executive vice president of mid Antic National Dank in Edison n.j., that As time has passed and As the age of the banking Industry has dropped table manners Are not Given the attention they need in the course of growing up or in any other setting. It s our Job now to make them part of our formal training program just As we train them to Analyse a lending  Letitia Baldrige the White House social Secretary during the Kennedy administration and now an etiquette consultant and writer says today s table manners Are anywhere from horrible to most  Young people themselves recognize that something has gone wrong. Myles Marks a 15-year-old from Highland Park. Ill. Said that before he left Home Lor boarding school. I personally ate like a  i once went to a big dinner meeting with my father and i ate the Spaghetti with my  he said. I would slurp it up and put it in my Mouth. My dad took some grief about  Marks is now a Sophomore at Berkshire school a private boarding school in Massachusetts that has formal dinners when students eat with faculty members. Marks says he takes his Lead from the other students. When we have Spaghetti he said you Roll it up real tightly on your Lork and put in your Mouth with the  when Nathan g. Simmons a 20-year-old Sophomore at ask University in Nashville started his summer Job teaching etiquette to Junior members of the boys choir of Harlem he found that they basically did t know of any table manners they grew up sitting in front of the television and  it s easy to eat at Mcdonald  said Simmons a wednesday october 30, 1085 former choir member himself. But when you need Good table manners you need to  despite the criticism however a number of historians said the nation is just experiencing a slump alter More than a Century of aesthetic dining. The Young people they soy Are not so much harbingers As missing links. In the 1 eth Century for example a member of venetian Royalty was severely rebuked by ecclesiastics for using a Fork instead of Only a knife As was common then. The clerics called Down divine Wrath on her for so excessive a sign of  wrote Norbert Elias in his Book the history of manners pantheon. She died soon after apparently from the plague but several religious figures at the time deemed her death a just punishment from god. According to has. It was not until the 16th Century that one could safely use a Fork in Public and As late As the 17th Century it was still essentially a luxury article of the upper class. What we think of As acceptable fable manners today were first practice toward the end of the 18th Century by the French upper class and other nations and societies followed according to Elias. Judith Martin who writes a widely syndicated etiquette column called miss manners recently gave a lecture at the John f. Kennedy school of government at Harvard University. She said the deterioration of table manners actually started with Thomas Jefferson or at least with the nation s founders and their fondness for Equality and hatred of false civility. She noted that Jefferson who had excellent manners As did Many of the virginians in government at the time attempted during his presidency to ease the rules of diplomatic ranking in the capital because he Felt they imposed artificial distinctions among men who had been created equal. Nevertheless for 100 years or so. Americans seemed to have worked out a Compromise Between the artificiality of Good manners and the unfettered honesty of Slove Liness. At Yale University in the 1950s, for example no rules were needed about dressing for dinner because no one would consider going to a meal without a coat and tie according to George d. Vallil. Retired associate Secretary to the University and its unofficial historian. All that ended in the 1960s, according to Vaill and the other historians. That s when we had to have a Rule requiring they Wear shoes to  he said. Things have hardly improved. The stars and stripes Page 13