European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - November 03, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Sunday novembers 1985 the stars and stripes Page 11 Ann Landers dear Ann Landers three years ago i was having problems in my life because of unhealthy attitudes about sex. I was molested by an Uncle when i was a child after i lost my virginity at 17, i could t in to re late to Mer. Ii a wholesome Way. To be Frank sex made me physically ill. I decided to seek professional help. The psychologist i went to was recommended by a woman at work. He was her Cousin after the fourth session Ernie he asked me to Call him that started to talk to me about his problems. His wife did t understand him. He was considering divorce.  me what i thought about the situation. 1 was flattered that this professional person would value my opinion. On the fifth visit Ernie said we needed each other. I needed him to make love to me so i could Sec what a mutually satisfy ing relationship was like and he needed me to help him feel a sense of personal Worth. I agreed because i had so much Faith in him. Afar All he was going to help me get Well and if i could help him Why not we had sexual Intercourse in his office every thursday and Friday for six months. 1 was charged s60 a visit and he asked me to pay Cash but i was getting worse in Stead of better. I began to feel guilty and ashamed. It began to Dawn on me that most of the 50 minutes was spent taking off my clothes having sex and putting my clothes Back on. 1 finally decided to confide in my family doctor. He hit the roof said the psychologist s conduct was not Only highly unethical but unconscionable and i should report him to the american psychological association. I did and they took action. Emie was in formed after a lot of testifying by me that he could no longer practice in this state. 1 immediately went into therapy with a female psychologist and made a great Deal of Progress in a Short period of time. Three months later 1 heard from Ernie s Cousin who had sent me to him she was furious with the Guy that he had set up practice in a nearby state and was doing Welt. How can Apa allow a Man who has Dis graced the profession to own up another office and treat patients help me under stand. Boiling in the Midwest dear Midwest unfortunately licensing practices vary according to state. In All states Boweter ii is possible for a discredited psychologist or Inyoze else for that matter to Call my or herself a Counselor an Educa Tor or a behavioural therapist and treat. Palenti. This of course provides great Protection for unscrupulous therapists and precious it to for the victim. What is needed of course la uniform licensing practices in All states. Dear Ann Landers i read in your column that Albert Einstein when asked by a Friend for his Telephone number said. Til have to go look it up in the directory. I never Bothelo memorize information i can find else  reasons Are Clear. When Einstein was at Home he had no need for the information since he would not be trying to Call himself. When he was not at Home he still would have no reason to remember the number As he knew he would be unable to answer the Telephone even if he did Call. A Pete in Ark dear Ark the professor would hate kid your letter. He had an offbeat sense of humor Ike yours. Reminder All letters to the editor roust contain he full printed name and address of the writer a a must he signed. We do. Of read unsigned letters but we win withhold your name on request and protect your . All tellers Are subject to editing. To land parents and the Best gift a child can get How can you ruin your Early Holiday spirit go to to land on a weekend. I was there the other Day and had to leave Early because the mothers who drag their preschool children through Long hours at the Exchange commissary etc., have moved to to land. I probably would t have noticed their pathetic crying wide eyed children except for the loud abusive degrading and Embr Assing behaviour of the mothers. Shut up. If you touch one More thing Santa won t bring you anything this  if you Don t come i m going to leave  it s no wonder the child is insecure and the most used phrase i m going to slap you spank you Cut off your hand with my pocket knife i really heard that oneetc., if you touch one More  some of the children look As though those Are not Idle threats too. I worry what goes on behind closed doors. How can the store clerks stand it that Little child does t even know he s supposed to get gifts but he docs know he s supposed to get love. How much More Loving in Swap shopping times with a neighbor get a Sitter or Wail until the father can stay Home and watch the Little ones. Having three Young children i can understand the Many pressures of parenthood. I m writing this letter to myself As Well and will Post it nearby to read All during the Holiday season. Maybe you could clip this article and gently hand it to me in to land when you hear me Yelling at my children. I la understand. The greatest gift we can give our Chil Dren this Christmas is a Loving Parent with a quiet gentle patient and under standing voice one who builds their Chil Dren up instead of tearing them Down with words and actions one who remembers what it was like to be a child Al Christmas. Our children won t remember the gifts we be Given them but they will remember the gift giver. Let s not bring our children into temptation spend hours shopping for surprises in the name of love and then leave having abused the object of our love both emotionally and physically. It s often hard work but let s All have a very merry Christmas name withheld Wiesbaden Germany army studying child care fees that draw complaint i m taking to task prices in the army child care centers Here in Europe. Locally the Cost per hour is Al per child. The cheapest route for daily care is $85 per month for 105 hours per child. Many of us find this a bit too Steep. During the summer a gs-3 working full time with two children pays More than half of her Nel salary to the Day care Center. Then from the remaining half she must deduct the travel and meals to come to her real net Worth for a month. If you make a Quick estimate that s less than minimum wage allowable to a . Citizen. Even the personnel Manning the Day care centers Are making More. Having just come from Okinawa where the Marine enlisted wives club manages the Day care Center and having paid Only $1.25 per hour for two children i find it mind boggling. The Center there charged 80 cents per hour for one child $1.25 per hour for two $1.35 per hour for three and $1.45 per hour for four or More. Not Only did they have a Good Price to offer but they also offered routine play for the children what one would Call pc school activities. Not one child left there was feel ing deprived of attention or bored with the activities. Here s the Topper the system made so much Money that they had too much in the Bank and the morale support activity threatened to take it and invest it in the new Bowling Center. The Center took the profits and re invested them with new furnishing new Mats new dishes and paint for the Walls and opened a Center for work ing parents Only open 6 a.m.-6 . Next door the air Force was charging $1 per hour per child and could not get enough business so they insisted that they keep charging Hal amount while the marines had to keep turning people away. I think it would be Hoove the Powers that be to look into the program followed by the child care Center at Camp Foster in Okinawa and maybe we could get the Price in Range so people would quit feeling that it s a crime to want to get ahead or to have children. Sharing cultures in the past two weeks you have printed photos and stories of human interest involving our German  being Able to read a German news paper i do miss Reading about news Takin place around me. Remember the local police and fire Call listing these were Light hearted lid bils that you printed but they were just enough to allow me to see the humor in my immediate  you for giving me the feeling of sharing our German american cultures . 1 think that Antifreeze without wines a grand idea belly Gates Wiesbaden Germany i am most Lucky now. I have my Landlady baby sit my two children Ages 8 and 9, before and after school and when we want to go out for the night or take a weekend tour All for 250 Marks and she feels that i overpay her. The pricing also makes it easier for Home care to charge More especially when the quota for working parents slots is full and one must go to Home care. If one had the inclination one could make a bundle doing Day care at Home. Name and location withheld editor s note a spokesman from the office of the Deputy chief of staff personnel he Usa Reuh replies your concern for the Well being of Chil Dren is deeply appreciated. The goal of the army s child development services pro Gram is to provide Quality child care at affordable Rales. Those rates Are set by local commanders. Army s cd operations provide More than a baby sitting service and must meet department of defense standards of staff to child ratios As Well As nutrition fire safely health and program standards. Funds appropriated by Congress Are used to pay for facilities maintenance utilities phones supplies equipment and salaries for the managerial and administrative staff. Remaining costs primarily for salaries of care givers and food Are mainly funded from user fees. Salaries of care givers comprise 85 percent to 90 per cent of the remaining costs although care givers remain among the lowest paid employees on the installation. While we cannot comment from first hand knowledge about child care opera Lions in Okinawa army cd operations Are required to meet minimum health and safely standards. Minimum Slaff to child ratios As Well a other standards were mandated for service operated cd operations by Dod following a june 1982 government accounting office study of military child cart operations example the minimum Dod staff to child ratio we Luln infant programs is l-to-5. Maintaining these standards is expensive and child care pen pals i am is Vaart of and Tovtin Brerry Haven. T Tynkov to alone Huttt Nung to inuit dance writing pen my or lint going Oul with Friend. I would ilk to hav pin pals trom an Over la world. Sandy Perry co Sig John  d5sf-b Flox 475 Apo . 09w i am 24 Start old and Rill a Chrien. My hobble a come Tang Frt Ondl cooking Ana gardening. I am  Wilt the rotary club in Ihl. Ally. Milt emt Lri m. Swap in rotary club of East can. Doro co cd marketing 114 Yacapin sir tit Bagayan Doro ally Muarl Oriental philippine i would ilk map Alt to writ in engllish. I am German 41 years old and live in England. Rum or Chat 5 laburnum Grove grow Nitard est  eix England i am ii years old and would like pen Palt. Ruurt Bali i. Banou Ergo Bong to Valencia Negros Oriental philippine 652 1 rates reflect a portion of these costs. Cd operations offer More than Rou Tine  activities arc offered that enhance children s physical social emotion at and intellectual development and Are provided by trained care givers. Whether parents require full Day part time or hourly care they want to be assured that their children Are receiving care that meets their needs. We Are sensitive to the subject of fees therefore we Are studying us a r fair cd operations fee structures so thai a formula can be devised for future usar eurus. European Bomon capt Dale k. Patterson us editor in Chw Cmor Jeffrey i Zakim u1n Deputy editor m chief . Blackwill m. Proctor d m. Com Mott production manager managing de. 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