European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - November 18, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 18 the stars and stripes monday november 18, 1985 columns & comments never leave a participle unattached by James Kilpatrick the venerable Henry Fowler once identified a danger to writers As insidious As it is he was talk ing about the unattached participle me offer a few horrid examples. This is from the associated press in an obituary of novelist Taylor Caldwell born Janet Miriam Taylor Caldwell in Manchester England on sept. 7, 1900, her family moved to the United states when she was 6." this is from the Seattle times in a piece about an undercover narcotics agent who infiltrated a local motorcycle gang. He is now far away and no longer fears being photographed. After living As a band Ido for two years the people who want to kill him know exactly what he looks this is from the Versailles ind Republican in a feature Story about an antique mule drawn wheat Binder after Selling in a barn for 31 years the present owner received the Binder in 1984 and restored this is from a syndicated medical column using doppler ultrasound device fetal heartbeats can be detected by the 12th week of in each instance we have an orphan clause that Lin Gers forlornly at the threshold of a sentence looking for a subject to come Home to. It is apparent on a moment s examination that it was not the Caldwell family thai was born in Manchester it was Taylor. In was the agent not the people who lived As a band Ido for two years. The present owner of that Binder had not been setting in a barn for 31 years and fetal heartbeats were not using a doppler device. There s nothing wrong with an introductory participial clause properly employed such clauses help to break up a Dull March of simple sentences. But let us remember Fowler s admonition. These things can be dangerous. Tie them Down. Sonic months ago i asked readers to let me know of their pet peeves. Haifa dozen readers wrote to say their Pel pc Csc is pet Peeve but never mind. Let me pass along a few irritations. Herman Hurst jr., of Boca Raton fla., is irked by when i first got up this morning or when i first arrived in the trouble with that construction is that it asks for an amplification that May not be provided. The Reader wants to know about the second Lime one got up in the morning or the third time one arrived in England. If these details Are not forthcoming the first is pointless. Joseph Digiacomo of san Antonio growls at the misuse of instigate when initiate or Institute i meant. He provides examples in addition to the fund raisers i am instigating a series of luncheons to thank Pur past to instigate something is to provoke it foment it. Urge it on stir it up. Says Webster s ninth new collegiate instigate definitely implies responsibility for initiating another s action and often connotes under handedness or evil asks my correspondent would you want to go to a luncheon that some one instigated the Rev. Philip a. Rohrbacher of Salem Ohio objects to the ubiquitous task Force especially in such ecclesiastical areas As a task Force on new hymnals or a task Force on Flowers for the altar. This is a military term he notes and is poorly applied to studies investigations and inquiries that have nothing to do with if i were sitting As a judge of language i would sustain the objection. Let us think rather of committees study groups and Blue ribbon panels and let them go a shocking on their Way. To in Luerul Prell the sad song Saga of soviet spook by Art Buchwald the spook Community in Washington ii talking of nothing else but the turnabout of soviet spy Vitaly Yurchenko. Only a few months ago he was the Cia s prize soviet Canary. Then without warning he turned up at he russian embassy and announced he was going Home. Forget his Story about being drugged and kidnapped. The truth is that Yurchenko was not tortured but was handled badly by the Cia. It was not Vitaly s love for the motherland that drove him Back to Moscow but his disenchantment with the american Way of life. This is what happened Yurchenko while in Rome was persuaded to defect by a Cia agent who offered the Kab officer wine woman and song not necessarily in that order. Sing to us dear Yurchenko the Cia Man said and we Promise you riches beyond your dreams a Safe House is million in Cash a Gold american express card and a free trip to Hawaii for two ground transportation and Gra lilies nol Yurchenko who always wanted to see Hawaii accepted he offer. He was immediately flown to Langley va., to be debriefed and tested for aids. As for his million dollars the Cia people said they would invest it for him in a Good tax shelter. Then the counter espionage boys went to work. Sing to us Vitaly sing to us the names of moles and double agents and spies who Are still out in the Yurchenko started to sing in a Beautiful baritone that Only great soviet defectors possess. All went Well until Yurchenko demanded the Safe House he was promised. They drove up to a dirty Gray weather beaten Cabin with broken windows rotting stairs and a Large Hole in the roof. What s Safe about this House Yurchenko said. The Kab would never think of looking for you Here. Well let you buy it for $500,000." Why should i pay for a House we always make our defectors pay for their Safe houses. The Cia is not in business for its health re plied the agent. Look we re not taking advantage of you because you re a dirty commie traitor. Every housein Virginia Sells for $500,000." Yurchenko bought the Shack from the Cia and received an Advance of is 50,000 to fix it up. Unfortunately just when he got the House the Way he wanted it the Kab found out where he lived and burned it Down on halloween. Yurchenko escaped out the Back window and three hours later arrived at Cia Headquarters shaking. He demanded his Money be returned since the House was t Safe at All. The matter went As High As the director of the Covert real estate division who told him that the Cia had a firm policy. As Long As the House was Safe when the Cia sold it to a defector the Agency was not responsible for the Kab burning it Lateran. Yurchenko was Hurt and confused. The Cia put him up in a Holiday inn and said sing Yurchenko and you la find a Bow in front of your door and a girl like the one in the Calvin so Yurchenko Sang some More. He would still be singing today if the Cia had not made one tremendous Blunder. The had invested the rest of Vitaly s Money in a Maryland savings and loan. When Yurchenko went to make a withdrawal the cashier told him they had run out of Money and slammed Down the window in his face. Enraged the spy returned to Langley and confronted Bill Casey. The director said there was nothing he could do. The Cia has no intelligence As to which savings and loan Banks Are solvent and which ones Aren t. If you had come to me earlier i would have tipped you off on some Good that did it for Yurchenko. Since he was wiped out he decided to return to Moscow and face the music. His last words As be boarded the plane were i Don t want to live in a country where your savings Aren t insured by y c to not it Tomti today s crossword by Eugene Sheffer across 1 mimicked 5 Small demon8 Homo of the mets 41 dashboard indicator 42 corrects 45 Popeye s assent49 Beach Dune 12 undiluted is astringent13 society 62 bring Page word 53 barbara14 makes Geddes Public 54 City in15 a biblical new York people 16 levee supports 3 Greenacres 4 insist guarantors 6 try River 7 await Settle ment 8 wooden shoes 9 grandson of Nokomis african fox17 libyan measure 55 Maple Genus 56 pig s digs 10 work units18 Kubla 57 decade 11 South Khan City unit to nod down21 pianist 1 Zenith Peter 2 Large cat 23 one Lime avg. Notation time 27 mln24 Chicago cub player 28 Kurtli o 31 personality 32 cornered34 color 35.l�rgi n37 navigation hazards 1q Tilem i ii you in i Lamy dreams Ang saturday.8 Pum a 19 obligation22 Mountain nymph24 dry As wine25 turkish officer 26 Balder dash 27 cheer fully 29 miss Brooks 30 loser in 56 33 june 6,1044 36 sort 38 watery eyed .40 Anglo Saxon letter42 on the ocean43 not Fern. 44 brother Sand sisters46 Lily Plant 47 Arizona city48 wife of Cuchulainn 50 lease 11-18 Hubert three Tia aes in a Row i lost tossing cd Coffee i 1st
