European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 05, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse Columns of the Joys of reverse sexual harassment by John Windrow staff columnist once again the sad old Earth has passed me by. Playboy inc. Has decided to turn the other Cheek and employ male sex symbols in its Chain of flesh Dens. The new male bunnies will serve drinks Check hats and generally brighten up the place in Playboy s nightclubs All Over the world. They will be called rabbits. They la hop from table to table lighting the cigarettes of i Ivious women who will Leer at them and Tea suggestive comments. They la probably get pinched and caressed by bolder members of the other sex. Dollar Bills will be tossed their Way along with remarks like buy yourself some Cologne Honey. We like it when you smell they re going to get paid for that. Incredible As it May seem the moguls of Playboy failed to solicit me to be the premiere wild Hare. No the first Rabbit is some Cutic from Brooklyn named Louis Affenito. Louis describes himself As a Carpenter and an aspiring actor according to the new York times. The times being a great newspaper recognized the tremendous social significance of the appearance of the first Rabbit and dispatched a Story this Carpenter and aspiring actor Hogwash fits right in with the familiar Playboy propaganda. When Susie Floozy miss april makes her debut with the Staple in her Navel she is always described As a Popcorn representative at a local movie who is studying to be Secretary general of the United or she May be a dental hygienist who plans to become a Nasa rocket scientist at some later this is a Clever ruse by Playboy to keep its readers from thinking the bunnies Are a gang of mindless bimbos. The rabbits arc hopping Down the old Bunny Trail when it comes to describing their personal accomplishments. I figure carpenters and journalists Are about on the same level of social Worth. The carpenters May object vehemently but let them write their own column some people Pound boards together other string words together. Therefore if i d been picked As first Rabbit Playboy could have billed me As John Windrow a newspaper Hack and aspiring brain it would have gone Over just As Well. The times quotes Louis As saying i always wanted to be a first. I came to realize that i would not be the first astronaut or the first to hit 62 Home runs. This is an Louis qualifications May impress some but i am unmoved. I also have not smacked 62 homers or flown to the Moon. Also i have not played linebacker for the raiders gone Over Niagara Falls in a dishpan to d Larry Holmes Ridden a Kentucky Derby Winner or discovered a cure for any major disease. I could list Sterling things that i have not done for hours maybe Days. So Why did t 1 get to be Al Rabbito Numero Uno of you May say cheer up John. The rabbits will be fruitful and multiply. Sooner or later they la need another Rabbit in new York or London and you la get your big that simply will not do. If i can t be the first Rabbit i la just stay the Way i am. What s the Honor Fame or rarity of being the 867th Rabbit to be hired after Louis Affenito broke new ground by becoming the a ref Rabbit of nil rime generations hmm now scholars will still be pondering Why Playboy gave me the cold Shoumer. I could have been for rabbits what Marilyn Monroe was for blondes. Not so Many years ago i waited tables poured drinks racked billiard balls and Fried hamburgers in the oldest bar in Columbia to. It was named Boche s after one boor he Rentable who opened a Blacksmith shop got kicked in the head by a horse and decided to turn it into a Pool Hall. For a Century no woman was allowed to Cross the threshold. In the end of course the placed was forced to admit and serve women. The first Day i waited tables at Boche s women were there. I might add that i was dressed very tastefully in an ensemble that could in no Way be called suggestive or vulgar. I was pinched three Fimes. I admit i had to go Back to the same table four times to get three pinches and the girl did look rather lonely. Nevertheless it happened and it happened in the 70s Days of old when women weren t so bold As the Are in this liberated age. Ever since that Day in mid Missouri i have realized that i drive women wild. Louis Affenito More than Likely would t have drawn More than a casual glance in Boche s that Day. Of Playboy you be used so Many. Could t you have found it in your heart to use me too j would a mister miss a or like a miss misses a is ? by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear miss manners like Many newspapers ours has discontinued the use of All Courtesy titles Lor women miss ms., mrs. The rationale which nearly All of us Here in the newsroom agree with was that the use of Courtesy titles Only for women was unfair. Some of us however thought we could eliminate the discrimination by using "mr.," As some urge newspapers still do. Others thought this discriminatory since men s titles Don t indicate their marital status but women s often do. Still others thought we should simply ask the person what he or she wants to be called. Gentle Reader miss manners has been in Many such a journalistic Battle and keeps losing. She despises the custom of calling anyone outside of prep school by the last name Only and knows that Many subjects and readers of newspaper stories do too. Omitting All honorific is not Only ugly but can be extremely confusing. What do you do for second references in a Story that mentions a married couple yet she agrees that men and women should be treated by similar standards and believes that asking each person s preference is impractical. One has to do that in social life in these chaotic times and it is nuisance enough. On a newspaper deadline it would be ridiculous. Besides miss manners Hopes she in t giving away professional secrets by saying that newspaper stories Are not always about people who cooperate in their writing. Hei preference is to use and there Are women who dislike "ms.," and one does not so address them if one knows that but it is the Only solution that is Correct without one s having to inquire into the lady s marital status. Dear miss manners my husband was very excited when he was asked to be Best Man at his brother s wedding. Later he realized that this would mean walking Down the aisle with another girl As i was not asked to be part of the wedding. This bothered him and so he asked me if it was proper. I answered yes it is proper however out of consideration for the couple most people would have asked both or neither to be in the wedding.". Did i give the Correct answer what do you suggest i do an hour before the wedding while pictures Are being taken since my husband and i will arrive together what do i do while the receiving line is formed would it be proper for me to stand in line next to my husband am i supposed to be in any of the pictures taken after the wedding i Don t think i will know Many if any people at the wedding except for the families who Are part of the wedding. Any suggestions about How i can happily fill my Lime there gentle Reader your husband has a strange idea of what it is to walk Down the aisle with a lady. Although this phrase is sometimes used As a euphemism for getting married it does not unite him to a bridesmaid Tor any step beyond the recessional March. Members of the bridal party arc chosen As individuals not As couples. And since it is customary for the Bride to choose female attendants and the bridegroom the male ones you cannot expect the Bride to favor her husband s in Laws Over her own relatives or friends. Difficult As it May be to believe when one sees weddings being staged As photo opportunities rather than ceremonies and celebrations there is no listing of who belongs or does not belong in a photograph. You would naturally not be included in a portrait of the wedding party but would be in pictures of the family. In any Case please try to attend this wedding in the spirit of a wedding guest who is there to share a momentous occasion and not to see How much attention she gets. Wedding guests Are expected to fill their time at the reception by being charming to one another in other words by being Good guests. Dear miss manners i am a retired lady who sometimes travels alone. How do i introduce myself when i must join a group of strangers for instance when i first approach my assigned table on shipboard gentle Reader by name. Shipboard is one of the few Public accommodations in which the roof so to speak is an introduction. Therefore you behave As you would toward a fellow guest at a parly when the hostess is absent identifying yourself and giving some sort of unobtrusive opening which allows a conversation to begin my name is Hester Hepburn have you crossed on this ship before december 5, 1985 stripes Magazine
