European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 29, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Sunday december 29, 1985 Arm Landers the stars and stripes Page 11 dear Ann Landers this is regarding the Mother who let her son s Girlfriend sleep Over in his bed. You were Loo hard on her. When i was a High school senior 18 my Mother Al Lowed Jim 19 to share my bed quite � often. He lived sever-1. No Miles away and the Vinten in Vermont Are awfully rough. We often kept the bedroom door open � she could see that nothing out of the Way Wai going on. Besides who said couples always fool around behind closed doors Jim and i just liked to cuddle. I wonder who has sex on their minds More adults born in the 30s and 40s, or these of us who were born in the goo. A cuddle in  a come off it. Buttercup. Doit Tel me Ihil Yon and your 19-year-old Feo a Rcpt in ssh " file ten Settle-1 for Cut Llie during those cold pc Mort who in. Nor can i belie a that your Mother was fooled. Often it s easier to pretend not to Kim what s going on than to confront dynamite situation. Dear Ann Landers is there any such thing As sibling abuse my brother has threatened me with knives hit me until i wanted to fall in a Corner and die and made my life miser Able. My parents know about it yet they do nothing. They say i provoke his at tack. He has a terrible temper and he can t control it. Whenever life is giving him a hard time he takes it out on me. 1 am afraid  Day he will Hurt me badly or even kill me and i m scared. Please print this letter. Maybe it will make my parents open heir jecs to what is going on. Living in hell in Lauder Aledear Jud Cradle Don t wait for your parents to open to War ryes. Someone must intervene on your behalf. If your brother is As Abiu Ite As you say there must be some Bruise. Show to net to your Rachor the school Counselor the school mine your family doctor a sym pathetic neighbor a Elf Raj Man. The Parent of a close Friend or an aunt or Uncle. An abused person must new be silenced by fear. Inaction ensures continued abuse. 1 am pleading with you to Tell someone at once. If you can produce Evi Dence your Case will be that much stronger. Dear Ann Landers this is for one of Many the woman who devoted her life to her son and did All the right  yet he turned out to be a drug addict and a thief. Tell that Mother not to write off her son As hopeless. I was once a drug addict and a thief. You almost have to steal to support the habit i broke my Mother s heart. One Day 1 faced the fact that if i did t change my Way of living i d end up in an Alley dead. A Friend took me to a Halfway House and it turned my life around. Now my Mother and i arc the Best of friends. My message to the Mother who wrote is never give up Hope. If i could make it anybody can. . The place that helped me was Gateway in Chicago clean and Happy dear c. And ii it s always a pleasure to print a Success Story. The address of Gateway foundation inc. Is 624 s. Michigan ave., Chicago Iii. 60605. Their doors Are always open. I am pleased to Tell my readers about this wonderful facility. The people who run it Are competent kind and loin. Reminder All letters to the editor must contain the full printed name and address of the writer and must be signed. We will with hold your name on request and protect your privacy. Believe me there is help recovered alcoholic says i am now a recovered alcoholic thanks to a wonderful military doctor and to god for giving me inc strength to overcome my problem. If anyone out there is going through Whai i did nearly two years ago believe me Here is help. About seven years ago i started to drink Loo much because of problems the biggest of which was agoraphobia. I had seen sever Al doctors both civilian and military. 1 was told it was my nerves one doctor even Slid i had to live Wilh it that i had a rash on my brain. Well a drink or two did make me feel better. I had to have several to get up enough nerve even to leave my House to buy milk. I was too afraid to go anywhere. This was not easy on my family especially on my husband who is a career military offi cer. The drinking go worse. I realized about four years ago that i depended on alcohol it was a fun and i kept it to myself. It got so bad that i was sick every Day. Every morning i vomited until i had a couple of vodkas and Beers. Then i could function a Little. I would shake like a Leaf if i did t keep up the drinking during the Day. Food tas cd terrible. 1 started losing my hair Lack of vitamins had trouble remembering and did not Slac a Well. I was miser Able but could not Stop. My life was falling apart while i smiled to everyone and pretended thai everything was just Fine. Then about two years ago i saw this particular doctor for a regular checkup. He could Tell i had a serious problem. Well he got me off the alcohol it was not easy and he s against up or out system i would like to comment on the letter primed by the stars and stripes recently about re enlistment and the reply. 1 firmly recognize the army s need for combat leaders throughout the entire rank Structure however this writer has in Rny opinion a valid Point school teaches Only the basics. Hundreds of studies have been published on Bow leadership qualities Are developed that is not inc objective of this Citler. In the military there will always be the followers. Our army needs to recognize and give due credit to tie Follower. Not every Soldier enlisted or officer has the ambition to become a Leader. Even i during my limited experiences in the army have confronted the compel no e-4 or e-5 who loves and enjoys his Job yet docs not have the ambition or qualities to become a Section chief first sergeant or commander. He or she May be an expert truck Driver clerk or Mechanic and would be Happy doing just that the rest of his career. Just As the Soldier has an obligation to the army the army has an obligation to the followers making the Soldier sink or swim in a leadership petition it not the answer. What happened to the Day of the 40 year old tank Driver wheel Mechanic or food service specialist the army s move up or move out philosophy needs to be evaluated for inc Impact it will have on All of our military occupational specialities. The complexity of military equipment grows each year inc casing inc demand for technical experts who can troubleshoot Digi Tal communication systems Hydraulic sys tems fire control systems Etc. Frankly 1 Sec very few of those experts at the battalion level yet we continue to Force soldiers out of these support special ties and into the combat arms specialities. Every Day the army puts unqualified sol Diers into key leadership positions with nothing but Adverse effects on those who follow. The heavy responsibility of leadership should Only be Given to those who want it and earn it. In turn those competent soldiers who do nol seek this responsibility should not have their jobs jeopardized. This applies also to those soldiers who came in the army with expectations of doing a specific Job and arc now being forced into different specially Fields for whatever the reason. I am not convinced Hal we Are doing everything possible to ensure that Job satisfaction is being achieved. Move up or move out is not inc Solu Tion to everyone s career progression. 1st it. John a.  Bani org Germany Reader offers Pov warning i m writing this hoping to inform some one else of what happened to us. We recently had a permanent change of station from Germany to Forl Riley Kan. We bought our Cor overseas and included in inc Price was shipping. Well we had t shipped a car Over to Europe so we would have had to pay for shipping out of our pockets. My husband went to finance and Licy paid us travel pay from South Carolina to fort Riley. When we got Here my husband went to finance Here and they told i we should t have been paid from South Carolina because the government did t ship our car. Now they Are taking Over half the Money Back and that will leave us with no pay at the end of the month. So please Tell everyone who ships their car another Way than the government to make sure their finance office knows what they arc talking about. Mary k. Dramond Junction City Kan. Editor s note a spokesman from the office of the Deputy chief of staff resource management replies think Yra for taking time to write from the United states to bring this prob Lem to oar attention. Unfortunately the collection by fort Riley finance office is Correct. Please allow a to explain. Reimbursement b Only authorized for privately owned Reticles stepped by the Goral ment. Generally Farad theade vehicles do not qualify for shipment except for service members assigned to a limited number of Remote lacking us. Faculties areas. You May Rosiew the est of exception areas in appendix ii str vol. I which is available in your servicing finance office. Joint travel regulation str allows reimbursement for one Way mileage to drop off or pick up pos at port when such travel is nol completed at the same Lime As n pcs mow. When such irate b performed at the same time As the pcs Mic As in your Casesar allows reimbursement Al a rate of 13 cents per mile from Aerial port of entry to Pov pick up Point and 16 cents per mile from there to the new duty station. As a result of your Fetter usage it finance offices ban been ordered to verify the Type of vehicle being shipped prior to issuing Advance Intel payments. Although this will not help your situation other soldiers May not suffer the same difficulties. Plane misidentified in your dec. 19 Issue there is an article concerning the Royal air Force museum at Raf Hendon near London. As a wartime member of the Royal Canadian air Force 1 found the article and  information of great interest. However there is an error in the caption for the Central picture. The aircraft shown there is not a Bristol Blenheim Mark in. It is actually a Vicken Wellington probably a Mark Iii or in though i cannot be sure from the photo graph. You May wish to Correct this information. Herbert p. Haas ran Stein a Germany our error. De. Helped me Wilh my phobia with special medication. This doctor talked to me like i was a special person. La slum cd i much care and concern. I really trusted him. What a wonderful person. I also had assistance from a terrific coun Selor it inc drug and alcohol Abms Cen Ter. My husband children and close friends stood by me. Very special people 1 a pc them All. I also prayed a great Deal. I believe that god helped me through it. Loo. Sometimes i believe that it was meant for me to come to Germany to be Able to snarl a new life now i am involved in inc Community out with people shopping Bowling Etc., doing things 1 dreamed of doing for years. 1 was Able to do things Hal must people just Lake for granted in their daily lives. Now i have to conc Cutrale on losing wig he. Afler i stopped drinking my App Tilc re Lur cd along Wilh my table buds and i found that i was enjoying food a Little Loo much. Bui what a Good feeling to Cut with Oul gagging. From vitamins and a Good diet my hair is Fine. My skin and nails Are much belter and my allergies have disappeared. Thanks to this incredible doctor and inc Good lord i have overcome my phobia a ii medication and cured my alcoholism. I wrote this Leller nearly a year ago. I  Down and read in again today la is hard to believe Hal 1 was thai person bul i do remember. I decided to Send this to Slars and so rips in Hopes Hal in might be Able to help someone. By the Way i now have a full Lime Job doing som Ching i thoroughly enjoy. My new life is Garcal. And i am very very Happy. Name and location withheld european coition capt Dale k. Patterson u1n Dell for in a mtg Cmor Jeffrey 1 Zakem urn it tily editor in Chatot . Black Well m. I Roctor . Mcdermot production manioc Manav fit Elf  Manaw the i  it Art Uff wlm not Filc cd wac riot or member of the or Hilary to omit con Ianu of the san i and strip a not Rutt Marley inc it Fidiaj View of w rna onto by. Chw us. Govern mint us a Ftp err Ranj att Tom or i he us european command the up Petranto of  in  publication include by left  olo pm or the Lan and a rip lol the product or Itrat Vecei Oder lived everything advert it in that publication thai to mad avails Lor up feta. Us. Of m to Fript without a Wail Lorat color Rhoton to National org Ltd dec Mam Halm. 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