European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - January 16, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns it s still one of those things we All have to do by John Windrow staff columnist any Day now i expect to receive a correspondence from the Federal government thai benign bumbling Many headed beast that seems to forget about me for most of the year. Greetings fellow citizen Here s your lax form Nice Ami Early just in c4se you want to pay your widow s mite several months before the april 75 deadline. If you should find our Handy Dandy forms confusing just Call or write for More of the same or fill them out As Best you can realizing of course that any error on your part will mean a line or imprisonment. Any error on our part is j dirty shame and Well feel mighty bad about that sincerely the Good old irs i recall listening to a group of Farmers discussing Ihler income axes the injustice of in All and the hard limes we live in once when i was a boy. After they All moaned about it for a while one a prosperous look ing fellow spit in the dust and said i wish i paid a Hundred  no one could think of anything to say after Hal i1 could be so much worse. Think of the Days of Caesar Knock Knock who s there f Tok Man How much / Ohall your Grain your wine your Silver and Gold your chickens goats sheep cattle and Swine and Well sell your wife and kids into bondage while we re at it. You needs receipt guess not. Cheerio Sec you next year maybe earlier in we try to invade Carthage again. Of course our government will gel ils Back up if some citizen discovers a Clever Way to cheat or some High minded principle thai prohibits the paying of income Ionics always remember his Al Capone thu great american gangster ran every kind of vice Racket roughed people up rubbed people oui and sold oceans of Bathtub Gin but the Federal government sent him up the River for income tax evasion. Thai s what finally made Uncle Sam get mad. An acquaintance of my Uncle once got in a Tiff Wilh the irs Over some taxes he had failed to pay White he was in the Navy in world War m. They called him . His father had sold some of . S cattle or Cotton or Corn or whatever while . Was serving his country s Flag. The feds warned their Cut and . Did t think he should have to pay it since he was in the Navy at government request instead of making himself Rich busting Sod Back in Tennessee . Figured it was All even Steven but the government Kepi sending him letters asking for payment. " was setting in country store one Day my Uncle said and these two men pulled up in a car with government License plates. They walked in and one of pm Laid you or. Ash Orlf . Said he reckoned he was and the Man said on you coat . Said what for and the Man showed him the latest note from the irs. In was t near As Nice As i he  my Uncle paused and rolled his eyes. Old . Decided he d pay that Little  . Went into a new line of business soon alter that and was killed in i lil raid. The government frowns on that Uma cd liquor. Some people never learn. Take for example Trwin Schirf the author of a How to Book Wilh the enchanting title How anyone can Stop paying income taxes Scholf s Contention is that the internal Revenue service tax code does t require people to pay Federal income taxes. Now i know thai government work can get rather Sloppy sometimes but i la Bel when the lax lawyers Rew up the statutes they put it in there somewhere. . District court judge Peter c. Dorsey agrees. According to the associated press judge Dorsey sentenced Schiff to three years in the join and a $30,000 Fine for income tax evasion last month in Hartford Conn. That May Hurt the Book sales Schiff is a part time tax protester. His main occupation is being an insurance agent. The a said Schiff commuted himself to the psychiatric unit of St. Raphael s Hospital in new Haven following  it s probably just As Well. Can you imagine some hapless Bank robber being locked up in the Federal Penitentiary for three years with an insurance agent talk about cruel and unusual. A reputation is a terrible thing to lose by miss manners United nature Syndicate dear miss manners during a recent traumatic period a personable Catholic priest was a great source of Comfort and inspiration to me. This Man has a warm Friendly personality and hit Friendship with me was no Dilfer enl from thai with either parishioner. I am a Tingle woman and not meaning to round immodest have had � number of men pay homage to me. However i put emphasis on the Interior person in me not the exterior and try to practice humility instead of egotism. I enjoy being a female but am not obsessed with it. Since recently joining this Parish i have made attempts to be Friendly and offered my services to the Church but not the smallest social Grace in terms of Welcome Lias been extended to me Wilh one or two possible exceptions and of course the priest. In contrast hints of rejection have noticeably been demonstrated in one form or another. A few comments have also drifted Back to me from a. Friend who know someone in the Parish. My Friend tried to explain that the opinions Are wrong but to no a.va.11. The consensus seems to be she is after our  i m sure their priest is not interested in me or by other woman in a romantic Way. But the die has clearly been cast and Damn ant quod non Intel Light they condemn whal they do not understand. Like most people i do not enjoy having derogatory comments about my character spread around. It hurls my lec Lings deeply. Without a doubt clergymen Are in a vulnerable position and surely there Are women who take advantage of this but personally i would not think of wasting my time on a priest and objecting myself to inevitable anguish. There Are too Many eligible men. In you were me would you continue to attend this Church and be Friendly in Spile of he cold shoulders or would you give these parishioners the satisfaction they obviously want and move to another Parish gentle Reader miss manners would like this question a lot More if it contained the indignation appropriate to a churchgoer who has had her devotions maliciously characterized As sinful. If she were you she would have opened the parishioners of my Church have been spreading vote and indecent rumours about me and the Park is i turned to for spiritual  instead your version is All about your social interests. Your complaint about the parishioners is that they Are not offering you Friendship rather than thai they Are slandering you. And instead of being horrified that they think you Are trying to get the priest to violate his vows you seem 10 have considered the possibility but dismissed it As too much emotional trouble. Of Well. Miss manners is not you and it is not her place to write the letters. She should answer yours As if she fully trusted what you Are saying. The solution is to report your feelings to the priest. His reputation and his parishioners Are involved. Miss manners guess is that if he finds that you Are being unjustly vilified he will take Stern action. It is a shame to the whole Parish if worshippers Are being driven away by spite lust please try to report it in a tone that does t seem to say attractive As i am and Friendly As you arc i m no really after you because i have so Many easier  dear miss manners is in True Hal when guests Are invited to one s House for dinner nobody is supposed to eat until the first bite has been taken by the hostess or by both the Host and the hostess is this True of but let dinners As Well As dinners which the hostess serves is it also True when guests Are invited to a picnic what if the Host and hostess expect the guests to take the first bite is this breach of etiquette Litt appropriate for me As a guest at a Buffet dinner to mention that i am waiting Tor the Host and hostess to Start eating so that i can eat gentle Reader there is no difficulty making Buffet guests wait to eat. No matter How hard the hostess tries to get them to take that first step of serving themselves they All stand around like fools refusing to Budge. However the Rule about wailing for the hostess to eat the first bite applies Only to the dinner table. Buffet guests and picnickers May begin As soon As they have found a place to sit and mopped up whatever they spilled while putting their plates on Ihler laps. At the dinner table the hos leu starts things by lifting her own Fork or if the first food served is congealing while same plates Are still empty by saying of please go ahead and  derelict hosts May be prompted by a guest s staring woefully at his filled plate and saying of this looks  feeling incorrect address Ymir etiquette questions to miss manners in care of the stars and stripes Apo 09211, . Forces. Jan diff 16,13ss Tripet Metzine