European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - May 1, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns when a Man meets a woman it can be ugly. By John Windrow staff columnist i him in it have .1 drinking buddy who was .1 very successful criminal lawyer lie once had to defend ,1 Cru Iliin who shot her husband with a 12-Jjjujjc Sholtus i not one for half stepping she used . " u looked like a challenging Case bul it never went in smrt. They Koback together my buddy told i and the charts were  you mean they re living together now asked him tin / seem in be Happy he said. Love is i ird probably because in involves men and women i tying to work things out together. Sometimes i think Wodon l understand each other maybe we re not my irom the same cloth. What i m trying to say is perhaps All thai Hokey stuff about sugar and spice and every thing Nice As opposed to snips and snails and Puppy dug tails has some vague Validity. Nevertheless to forgive each other for Alt Lupi s of Grieve ifs Sruv take the recently reported Case of the mad passitjnali1 kissers of Harrison Mich. Arc Rinji in up1, a Man Well to the police and complained thai his girls Rind bit off Par of his Tongue while they were kissing. The dispatch said i ii Pratt to. To of i in Rridon toil a 1,5-lm h ivc Tion of his Ron Fito. Wynn try no , 2j, allegedly bit Down  while tin two were kissing in inv Kitchen. Fed in list Ifird at in Pacli Mcrury hearing that hath he Anil Rawand id consumed a of fat ill noun of whiskey and during Trie curly morning hours they were standing up in her Mother s Kitchen with Ricejr Janis ground each other. They a. I Don t think Matrimony will keep this one oui of the courtroom. . Why do we do these things i have iwo cousins in Nashville who happen to by married to each other. The last time i was Home she told me about their special Nir Lii out when he took Fiir too formal dinner at one of Nashville s swankier spots. He had on a rented Tuxedo she said. It  Maroon. He looked real  a Sih escaped her. Lips at this Point. Then after he Hail a few drinks in him he jumped in the Fountain outside the Hole. That made him uncomfortable so he took the Tuxedo off. He was dyed Maroon. I looked Down the Siruet. Here come the police and to s running around with no clothes on and he s dyed Maroon under these circumstances Many women i jilt have left one of my favorite cousins to blur tender mercies of the Nash Villa . Bill no she Lold him to get his Maroon soil into the car and drove him Home la safety. Ain t love grand. Scottish garb throws manners out of Kilter by miss manners untied feature Syndicate dear miss manners i am a Young scottish Man who has recently become a naturalized . Citizen. In Scotland grew up wearing a Kitt As Normal everyday clothing. Occasionally when i feel like it i Wear scottish High clothing in the slaves Hill knee socks Kilt shoes and jacket Etc. In Scotland this is no big Deal because kills on men Are not considered costumes or uniforms but Ordinary clothing. Men who Wear kills elsewhere Are quite used to Mere inquiries from people who insist on knowing what is or is not worn beneath the kill. Although this question bothers me there Are humorous answers for the questioning lady or Man. Whal Bolleri me More since my arriving in the United states Are the insistent people who Are not put off by my humorous ret Orli and begin to conduct their own personal inspection. These men and women grab my Kilt and lift in up until their curiosity is satisfied i must risk being exposed in Public All Lor the Sake of a Tauger unless t violently Knock Ihler hands away providing i am not surprised from behind in which Case 1 can t do anything. My question is How to politely and thoroughly make it known to these people some of whom Are friends and acquaintances that i Don t like it Al All or despite the appearance i have of laughing it off find it the least Bil funny. I can l Lurn around and slap these people As a woman would in the same circumstances although sometimes i feet this might get my Point across. Why do they Eipel me to be any less Engbar Assad than � woman would be if she were to have her skill pulled up in Public gentle Reader whore is your Tolan dumb miss manners does Noi ordinarily solve Chi queue problems by recommending thai the victims of rudeness Arm themselves with dangerous weapons. Violence and inc threat of violence arc what etiquette is designed to prevent. Bui this is no Ordinary rudeness miss manners a rfcs thai attempting to lift a gentleman s kill is the equivalent of pulling up a lady s skirt. The difference is that everyone Here recognizes that the a alter constitutes indecent assault while there Are by your report those who arc so tasteless As to think that going after your clothing is a joke you Are quite right that the appropriate feminine response to such an attack slapping and screaming would1 merely add o this unfortunate hilarity. Nor is the jewelled Dagger worn Al the calf an Ordinary weapon. Asil is Parl of the clothing the Sian dub can be worn  for the Sake of tradition. But you can grab in Al the first sign of any verbal or physical joke about your Kilt and say menacingly such insult Are not taken  this puts you in charge of the joke and makes it about scottish fierceness rather than about what they mistakenly perceive As feminine clothing. Wearing the plaid Only when appropriate Here will help protect the rent flank from Surprise attacks. But it is the Sian dub thai will turn this prank on your attackers and protect you from repeaters. Dear miss manners whal is the Correct response loan announcement of a new Home or a change of address my Niece who lives several thousand Miles away sent change of address cards announcing her new Home to All cousins aunts and uncles living in various parts of the country. We rarely see or hear from this girl Only once in five years or so my husband and i Are retired and we Send presents for marriages births Etc., but we did not respond to this card As she is unmarried. Last Christmas we put a note in our card telling her we hoped she liked her new Home and inviting her if she Ever came this Way to let us know and visit us we go no response from her and her Mother has acted cold. I understand some other relatives did not Send congratulations or presents either. Gentle Reader let us Hope that your Niece s intention was Loicl her relatives know where she is living because she presumes thai they care to keep track of her even if Only occasionally and she Hopes that they will visit if they arc in her area. In that Case a letter of congratulations is in order and your Nolc on the Christmans card while not quite As gracious is certainly acceptable. However miss manners picks up the whiff of a suggestion that the recipients accuse her of figuring How much Money in the Way of wedding presents she is losing by not getting married and hoping to collect by substituting the move As an event. Miss manners certainly Hopes you Are wrong. A great Many people seem to believe that any event in their relatives lives birth graduation marriage is held primarily out of the desire to get presents out of them. Miss manners has never shared the View that inc Only possible motive for any human behaviour is greed. But even if you Are right the polite thing to do would be to ignore that possibility and behave lust As if your Niece were merely interested in letting you know where she is. Hive an etiquette question address letters to miss manners in care of the Start and stripes Apo 09211, us. Forces May to 19ss stripes Magazine