European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - May 9, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 18 the stars and stripes Friday May 9, 19bg columns & comments the Rainy Days of my Confehr nerf by Andy Rooney sitting Here idly staring first it the keys of my Type writer and then at he drops running Down Ray window i. Realise there Are very few things so satisfying As being in out of the rain. When it s wet outside and i m inside dry i feel contented and in control of my world. Civilization Worts. I have Defeated the elements by effectively sheltering myself against them. If they had their Way i d be soaked.-. This wonderful satisfied feeling come to me for tic first time in my life when f was about 8.1 was lying in bed in our cottage on a Lake in Northern new York state and rain began polling Down on the Lin roof Over my head. 1 recall exactly How snug and warm and dry i Felt As the storm tried to get at me. If you have never slept in a House with a tin roof during a rainstorm you be missed one of life s great experience. Every House ought to have one room with a tin roof on it just far sleeping in when it Rains. Remember having same wonderful times in to Small tent we put up in the backyard. A tent is fun in the rain Only if you can get out of it and go Back into the House once it starts leaking. If it Rains for Long the water usually finds a Way to get you in a tent. Every kid hears that if you touch the cloth of the tent with your hand water will Senrt leaking through there almost no Young person in Side can resist the temptation of testing this theory of physics. Unfortunately the theory is Correct and he Lent starts leaking. Rain usually starts coming underneath a Lent too and if you spend a Rainy night in one you Are usually thoroughly miserable by morning. Driving a car in the rain is a Good feeling. I m us wave surprised that ears have been made so watertight. The problem with a ear in the rain is getting in and out to be in if you have an umbrella you have to close it find someplace in the car to put it dripping wet and then climb in yourself before you re soaked and without sitting on any of the wet spoil the umbrella made. If you re wearing a we Raincoat you can t take it off before you gel in and if you do get in wearing it you end up Silling on a wet Raincoat. Rain gear is far from satisfactory. Umbrellas offer some of what you feel in a Lent and even a Little of the pleasure of ram on a tin roof but umbrellas Are Only effective in a very Light drizzle and they Aren l even effective in that if there s any wind. This morning i came to work wearing a Raincoat and using an umbrella. I got Here perfectly dry from the Knees up but the crease in my pants below the Knees is gone. I be been sitting Here Al most an hour now and the Bottoms of my pants Are still Damp. I suppose raincoats thai came to the ankle might look funny but they d certainly be a lot More efficient. No one who designs raincoats Ever gives any consideration to the area below your Knees. If a Man s pants get soaked below the Knees he might As Well not have been wearing a Raincoat at All. He d even have been belter off if he was t wearing panel. Raincoats should be made ankle length. Whether that makes the wearer look silly or not. I Wear rubber Soled shoes so footwear in t much of a problem. I have rubbers but my shoes Are so wide that it lakes me in minutes to pull the rubbers on Over them and another five to get them off so i Don t Wear rubbers much unless t know i m going to be walking in mud. Those yellow slickers with Matching rubber pants Are Good but it s a lot of trouble putting an the panel and them taking them off when you get somewhere. For one thing you have to remove your shoes both times 1 see it s still raining out there i m intermittently Star ing at it typing. I remember a fragment of a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow for after All the Best thing one Cando when it is raining is to Lei in rain one can not Only it it but Tove i. Id to turn Man Sart i he lust kept his hands Over his ears Byah Buchwald unless i am presented with convincing evidence to the contrary i have to go along with Kurt was Dhim s Story that although he was a lieutenant on the staff of a nazi general he bad no idea that any atrocities were committed in Greece and Yugoslavia during 1942-45. There is no reason at this Point in Lime to question the fact that the former Secretary general of the . Was anything More than a translator for German Gen. Alexan Der Lohr who unfortunately cannot be with us today be. Cause he was hanged As a War criminal. Despite unfounded accusations it is my Humble opinion that or. Wald Ctm was a victim As were most German officers of world War ii. I cannot verify it but this is probably what happened. Or Waldheim Hen a Bright Young officer of austrian birth was assigned to Gen. Lohr s staff. Long a Job was to kill As Many yugoslavs and greeks As he possibly could and solve the jewish Balkan question once and for All. Bat la. Waldheim never knew about any of this. He was under the impression Gen. Lohr s Mission Wai to keep the yugoslav and greek partisans from looting stores. When Waldheim first arrived and presented himself to Gen. Lohr the general told him i need a  Kawohl said Waldheim. What would you like me to translate Shakespeare i love to read Shakespeare in the Origi Nal. It retold me after a Long Day on the  Lohr handed Waldheim a German copy of Shakespeare and said i want a new play on my desk every night. What about my fighting sir Don t worry about fighting. Leave that Tor our boys in the Field so Waldheim moved into an office three Doon Down from the Genera and Starlet to translate Shakespeare every so often Meone would Rush in and say we have 5,000 greek men women and children in trucks outside. What should we do with them Waldheim would yell thai s nol my department can t you see i m translating Hamlet or an is sergeant would crash in and say where Are inc freight trains for the jews of Salonika Waldheim would put his hands Over his cart so he could t hear what the Man was saying and run Oul of his office. For three years Waldheim kept his hands Over his ears and eyes never once hearing or seeing anything that the germans were doing in the Balkans. As Long As he completed his Shakespeare translations no one Ever asked him to do anything for Hitler s War Effort. Probably one of Waldheim s great triumphs was trans lating All s Well that ends Well while Lohr and his troops wiped put 15,000 yugoslav partisans in the Infa Mous operation  the fact that Waldheim appears in a photograph no a Montenegro Airport in full uniform with other officers a few Days preceding the operation in no Way Means thai he was involved in it. He was just saying hello to old friends before he went off to Bis Lent with his German English dictionary. Some people maintain that it is awfully difficult to serve on a nazi general s staff in the Balkan from 1942 to 1941 and not knew what went on. Kurt Waldheim was the kind of Guy who could do it if be made any mistake it was not mentioning in his autobiography that he served in the Balkans As a translator of Shakespeare for Gen Lohr. The Only reason i can guess for the omission is he was ashamed to admit he had no idea what happened in world War ii. 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