European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - June 2, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 18 columns & comments the stars and stripes monday. June 2. 1986 humor is in the ear of the listener by Andy Rodney if you re having a parly Don t invite Johnny Carson and Joan Rivers. They Aren t gelling along. Joan Rivers the dirty Brittle funny comedienne had been the regular vacation substitute for Johnny but he fired her when she agreed to do a show of her my in compact Ilion Wilh his tonight they re what Waller Winchell used to Call Don l invite this is the kind of arum Cal like because in does t make any difference la me Uhi wins. Like Johnny car son did f Don t Liucc Joan mixers i have no idea Whf Ber her new show will hurl Johnny s show or not. Or Vail a minute. I do have an idea. I Dnn l think it will. Joan Rivers would be hard to Lake after night. Johnny Carson has lusted for 25 years to cause he s easy to Lake you Aren t As a i to gel 1 Birdd of him As you Wou id of Joan Rivers. Most or us Are very Clear in our minds about which funny people we like and which we do not. As a kid i never liked Eddie Cantor or Abbott and costello and 1 was Ino Young to appreciate i he Genius of Charlie Chaplin but i loved the Marx Brothers and Laurel and Hardy. Jack Benny and Fred Allen always seemed funnier to me than Bob Hope. Bob is a grand american institution and 1 Admire him for his persistence but i was always Loo aware of his writers. Jack Benny was belter than Hii writers. There were old Lime comedians whose Appeal i never understood. 1 could t wait o urn he television set off on Muon Berle Danny Thomas or red buttons. I laughed some Al red Stellon but he was never a favorite and Jerry Lewis we and is one of the least Tunny men in show business. On the other hand i always like Jonathan win ters Sam Levenson and Victor Borg. Sid Caesar was a comic Genius but he never had the winning personality that Jack Benny or Bob Hope Hud. Personality counts for a lot with comedians. Bob new Hart Sells his Good sense of humor and he mixes it Wilh a pleasant amusing personality that makes him Good year Alicr year. The big Winner now with his personality is Bill Cosby. He s just incredibly likable and he has so Many easy Little ways of being funny. Years ago i wrote a script for Bill Cosby and when be came to inc studio and rail it 1 was t sure he was doing a Good Job. It seemed so Flat Etc did t emphasize much of anything. He read in what was very close o a Monotone but when we put the show to go Thor in turned Oul it he had known better than How my words should be read. Thai was in 1968 when i wrote a show for him called of Black America and i be Oflyn wondered whether he remembers me or the script. There arc different kinds of comedians. Some people who do funny shows Are just Pood comic actors who Are not themselves very funny. Laugh in was one of the funnies television Hows there Ever was and the weakest part of the show were the two principals Rowan and Martin. Lily Tomlin Colic hawn hash bii2?i and arts Johnson had Good writers and knew How to make the most of Good material. Carry Moore was one of Rny All time favourites. Garry was sort of an executive comedian. His brain knew what funny and tie was a Good enough actor to do what he knew he should Wilh the material but he was not a come Dian in the same sense thai his Friend Jimmy Duranc was. Duranc oozed comedy every time he spoke. Even though i liked durable i Seldom like anyone who is called a comedian. I like humor better than comedy. There must be some far away place to which old comedians go after a Brief stay in the spotlight. I often wonder whatever happened to George Gobel David Frye and Nipsey Russell. Why did the Brilliant Danny Kaye drop Oul Why Don t we see More of the topical cum cd of Mort Sahl and Wilh Joan Rivers gone Wilt Johnny Carson bring Back Joey Bishop you remember Joey Bishop. It Tribune Media service tiny ticks that nibble at our prose by James Kilpatrick f you will Pardon an ugly metaphor homophones arc Wood licks. The Little do its Are practically invisible they crawl unseen Ino a sentence or a headline they leave embarrassing Biles and they Are unbelievably persistent. Let me Pluck a few some of these horrid examples have been kicking around for months but the inf culion is eternal. From the Terre haute ind Tribune couples go to court not the the copy editor wanted the Denver Post wondered in its out West Magazine if a petrified Man found in 18?7 Cotita be the link Between Man and ape so recently eluded to by Charles darwin.1 the editor of Central Suffolk . Life having Pur chased a new Home said that the goal of acquiring this property seemed to allude a correspondent of he american Baptist wrote of scriptural illusions to the idea of peace. A iut writer for the Miami Herald wrote that or. Julius Schultz had one abiding question and the answer always alluded the mix up involves two verbs and a noun to allude is to make an indirect reference an allusion. To elude is to Evns or to escape understanding. An illusion is a deception or a misleading impression. The noun Elu Sion meaning an adroit escape has been around since 1614 but no one has seen it lately. A Good thing too. In Scro Beach fla., a sports editor reported thai in a game against Sarasota his bus weary fighting indians did t get out of the shoot in popular mechanics an Adlor a Coin counting machine explained thai once coins Start to flow Down the shoot they will amazingly take different the word is Chute one of perhaps 50 wards of French derivation charlatan Chevron Chi Canery Chiffon that carry the soft in pronunciation. A headline in the Albuquerque . Journals. Africa civil War seems an and in the Newton Kansan tie Fate of All our elementary schools is in eminent a proposal of the securities and Exchange commission said a contributor to the Wall Street journal on the surface sounds imminently let s keep hem straight. Something that is eminent is conspicuous prominent famous something that is imminent is ready to happen. The san Francisco chronicle covering a bad storm quoted a visiting plumber from Illinois water does t phase in Birmingham ala., the news reported that a japanese insurance company has paid too Many claims to golfers professing to have scored holes in one. Next step is apparently to faze out this the Bir Mingham Post Herald following suit quoted a local Gar Dener Pur Normal cold does not phase these a phase is a change whether temporary or recurring an artist s Blue phase or a chefs Noodle phase. The verb " o faze is to disturb one s composure. Managing editors Are no easily fazed but homophones drive them bonkers. A publication called editors forum sent out a Blurb for is service it is executed with taste and flare hot stuff obviously the Leavenworth Kan times carried an obituary on 3 in who would be buried from the reorganized Church of ladder Day saints. An Oregon outdoors writer let us know that morning Dove numbers Are Good in the Willa Mette the Christian science Monitor reported on just plane lawlessness in Britain. In a feature Story on new telephones inc Chicago Sun times said one Model permits a user to have your hands free to Pound the desk shuffle papers or to in Readic the times had he same problem. Elmer Lago jesters while telling stories of his life of roaming the by ways of the world. Well chums jesters Are intentionally funny Homo phones Aren t. 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