European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - June 5, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse Columns today s men Are More than just sexual objects by John Windrow staff column ii the on life office still is in a frothing uproar because of the stirs and stripes mile Beauty contest thai management planned for our world renowned july a picnic. The people who manage stripes Tike to consider themselves to be on the cutting Edge of social change and they thought a mate Beauty contest would be Good for a few yuks Tome tree or and might Buiter up the people who do Back hips Over things like Federal women s week. They did this needless to say on the Assumption thai i would enter win be crowned or. July 4ih and pose Lor he International press weeping in a bathing suit topless clutching a dozen red roses As i m crowned by our female City editor. Wrong. I first Learned of this scheme about a week ago when i was Hack in the composing room making coffer. The women Al stripes consider making Coffee a form of sexual oppression so 1 do it there Are attractive liberated women who work in our composing room and i always draw a Lew Lecis pinches and suggestive remarks As i Waik Back and Forth to the Coffee machine. Somo limes i make 15 or More trips a Day to the Coffee pot but Only because i can t write headlines without a caffeine Rush. I endure the degradation with muffled protests it s so embarrassing. They look Al each other cynically and say Don t pay any attention. He loves it but i digress. While i was getting my Coffee one of the bolder ladies mid of baby i can t wait to get an eyeful of you in your skimpy Little swimsuit. What Are you going to do for the Talent compel lion play Dixie on the Lew s Harp no i said haughtily with a toss of my head i m going to Eal a live i have a Cousin who was a carnival Geek but that s another Story 1 did t know what she was talking about but As i strode Back to my desk to dream up another headline about the sexual habits of the chinese pandas in the National zoo i realized that something foul was afoot. I asked the City editor. Don t worry Aboul it John she said with a Wink. You going to be a Star. People Magazine is coming. You la probably end up on the Phil Donahue great. I end up on Donahue silting Between a Gay motorcycle gang and the grand dragon of the Kun Kluk klan telling people How being crowned or. My 4th has changed my life by making me aware of All my deep inner sexual yearnings. Wrong. I demurely announced that even though i was deeply moved by the attention i would not enter the contest. People immediately withdrew its request for press credentials and inc wire services networks and the Wall Street journal rapidly followed suit. Now everybody s mad at me. The maddest of All is my pm frenchy the wire editor. He thought he would sweep he contest when i pulled out. I was All Lor giving frenchy a Chance because he has a Beautiful mind. The people who were pushing the contest Only considered his body French could be called pleasingly plump. He recently saw a wire piece that said a Blue whale gains five pounds every two hours. Frenchy wanted to find out How to get on he Blue whale diet plan. As for the other men in the office half of them Are mad Al me because they Don t have a Chance to strut their stuff in a bid or runner up and the other half Are angry because anyone brought up the idea in the first place. The women Are disappointed angry feeling rejected and generally furious. Management his egg on its face. I could get fired. That Means you could no longer read this column and i might have to go out and earn an honest living. As a result of All this lol Derol i have decided to publish my reasons for not entering the stars and 5fripcs.male Beauty contest events like this Are degrading to men they encourage women to think of us As objects. It s bad enough now. Women think we re Only Good of one thing. I know because i be often heard them say so. No one enjoys being leered at by a Bunch of women As if he did t have any clothes on. Men have minds and women need to appreciate us Lor our Many other Fine qualities. Women Are jealous of us enough As it is. Women have to spend hours getting themselves ready to face the world every Day but men look presentable naturally. Women resent us for this and male Beauty contests Only grate on this exposed nerve. The radiance of Beauty is dimmed by analysis. Figure that one out i have decided to Start men s week to educate the Public about men and sexual stereotypes. Watch this space one of these Days Well talk Aboul Abraham Lincoln who did pretty Good for himself despite the fact that he in Inot Beautiful. A Little gender among acquaintances is of by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear miss manners it the use of incorrect grammar a breach of Good manners for example i often hear people improperly use the word gender when they actually mean Ever in i tint studied a foreign language i have been aware of the difference Between these two word gender being a grammatical term and Tei being biological term pertaining to the distinction Between male and Lenule. Would it be considered bad manner for me to a Puin the meaning of the a two words to the pvn Ralar of the grammatical Faux pail i could Lor instance Point out that word have gender and people have sex. Gentle Reader indeed you could and what a Giggle you would get. However you would also get some cold stares the most freezing of them from miss manners. As devoted As she is to correctness in both manners and language. Miss manners is not so ridiculous As to suppose that neither of these should be allowed to change when necessary. This particular change is necessary because using the word sex in discussions of discrimination and rights re enforces the idea that Foremost and always the female represents a romantic possibility. A lady of miss manners acquaintance was not thrilled when on promotion to a previously All male professional group she was congratulated by a Well meaning blundered who said we re so Happy finally to have sex in the but that argument aside the answer to your question is yes in is rude to Correct other people s speech. Vou Are supposed to be too interested in the Content to notice the form. Dear miss manners if one is Host to a group of ill or even people Al a restaurant what does one do when Friend approaches the table with a couple of her friends who she introduces to the Host neither the nor her friends Are acquainted with the cited guess. Doe the Host try to introduce everyone to ill the standees it the Friend out of line to approach the table in this situation gentle Reader restaurant visiting beyond the merest cheerful Exchange of greetings is a terrible idea. Unlike a cafe where in May be charming to run into acquaintances a restaurant is usually somewhere people go for serious dining in purposefully organized groups rather than just to while away the time. So while he newcomers arc standing there As if Al a cocktail parly those at your table Are furiously allowing their food to get cold and contemplating the unpleasant Prospect of having to get up and shift around to make room for the other party to join them. Do not encourage this by introducing them. After your own greetings wish the visitors a Good dinner and sit Down. Dear miss manners my daughter play the piano. She s in fourth Grade and this year she gels More Homework than Erer. She now wants to quil piano. I Don t know whether to Lei her quit or to make her practice so that she learns How to work for something. Centle Reader then make her work for the privilege of music lessons. Even if she gives them up now considering hem a Ireat rather than an obligation is the Only Way Ever to give her the incentive they require miss manners policy on the subject is that the proper business of children is schoolwork about which they have no Choice but that lessons and other regular extracurricular activities whether they Are cultural or athletic have to be earned with a demonstration of serious commitment. Oddly enough in is the Parent who grumbles about the expense and nuisance of music lessons and threatens to Slop them if the child does t practice rather than the Parent who is self essay nagging the child to practice and concert tickets and records whose Home is filled with music. Have an etiquette question f address letters to miss manners in care of the stars and stripes Apo 09211, . Forces. June a 19k stripes naga one
