European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - June 13, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 18 columns the stars and stripes Friday june 13, 1986 today s crossword spending a year in daydream prison by Andy Rooney every one of us has imagined having something wonderful hip pc. We dream we suddenly discover a great ail Iii ability we have and win the big game or an olym Pic Gold medal we think about having some Distant rela Tive die us an unexpected Fortune men dream of being in the compan of Linda Evans women in Tom Salt Eck s. Recently i be been having a More practical dream. Jar this fantasy of mine i m arrested for some Small offence. The judge sentences me c a year in prison. I am taken to a cell 10 feet Long and 8 feel wide. In the cell there is a bed a chair a desk a lamp Wilh a 100-Watt bulb a typewriter a suck of paper 3 feet Lull and on a shelf above the desk 10 books three limes a Day i am brought a simple Low calorie meal thai docs i Appeal to me each morning at 7 a.m., i am forced to Lake one hour of strenuous Urcise and then returned id my cell. Tji Cro is no Telephone a Vailante to me no Lel Visian. In newspapers. I am trapped with Only my self for company. There s no Way to waste Lime so i turn to the Only things available to me. The typewriter and the books. Then in la prison fantasy of mine i Lay out my schedule. From Al to 11 30 a.m., i work on a novel i be been meaning to write but never had Lime for. Then the guard comes with a Glass of water and a tuna fish Sand wich on a buffered bread for lunch. I hardly ouch it. After lunch i Lake a Lille Nap and Ihen Start writing a play. All afternoon i work on my play until the guard comes Wilh a terrible supper at 5 30. Again 1 eat very Little. Every once in a while i Stop writing my play or my novel and for a diff. I write half a dozen letters to people i never got around to answering when t was on the Oulu de. Prom j 30 to 7 p.m., i just Sil and think and Ihen i Start Reading. Wilh two exceptions the books Are ones i have never really read before. They Are Webster s third International unabridged dictionary. I be always wanted to read it from Start to finish but never had time. I Gei ought Reading a Little of in when i m 1 hiking up a word Bui i always feel i m wasting Lime so i Stop. Crime and punish Mcnol by Dospoy Casky. 1 Don t really want o read this Book but i m lir cd of feeling Giuily for not having read it every Lime it s mentioned by my intellectual friends. War and peace by Tolstoy. Sec reason above. The liable. I get into a lot of arguments and having read the Bible thoroughly would help me win More often. Jve heard there Are a lot of Good parts in it too i be talked to people who claim to have read the Bible but i be never talked to anyone who convinced me they d really read and understood All of in. The origin of species by Charles Darwin. It seems As though everyone should have read a Book As important As this one. Don Juan by lord Byron. I read this in College and was surprised to find out How Good in was. I loved in. It was so interesting and Complex that i d like id read it again. The adventures of Hucht Rbarry i la pick his up toward the end of the evening when i m winding Down and Wurl to relax and have a i lie fun. The Sun also i m also ashamed of never hav ing read Hemingway s classic. Finnegan s Wake by James Joyce. I could l make Heads or tails out of this when i tried it 20 Yean ago and i d like to try again. Word for this is the name of a new Book i be written that will be coming Oul Neil fall. I d like to have a copy of ii in my cell just to give me a Little claw with the guards. By the end of this imaginary year in prison i will have lost 37 pounds because the food was so bad i la have read nine important books and i la have written he novel and the play Ive been meaning to get at. Now if i can Only Eibink of same Nice harmless crime to commit thai will get me a year in the prison of my daydreams let. Caught in troum Shii str Itei a Nof so merry even for parents by ddn l Harbuc Kiwal it s june and weddings Are busting out All Over. The one thing i notice is that Many parents tend to be Mare upset with those guests who Don t come to the wedding than pleased with those who do. And soil was with gob and Kathie Farrish of Sag Harbor n.y., whose Lovely daughter Kate was married last week. 1 found Bob and Kathie standing on the porch Overlook ing their Garden filled with act lying guests. I expected them to be Happy since everything was going so smoothly. Great parly i told them. Ben and Hannah Mazer did l come Kathie said. How do you know that with so Many people here1" i asked. They called and said hey had jury duly on saturday exactly. They could have told the truly and said they were going sky a Dave and Laurie Kramer Aren t Here. We went to their daughter s wedding and we had t seen her since she was 2," Bob said. "1 guess Dave s Golf game is More important than listening 10 of Promise me. You people Are really keeping score Aren t you Bob said Ive Given up Many a weekend to 150 to the weddings of my Friend s children even when i had ticket to a jets game. 1 expect them to give me uie same standing an Tiee toes Kaibie did "1 Don l he the they probably found a belter wedding to go to after they accepted Bob said. Wait a minute 1 Laid. I see Judy Sokal Over there by he Gazebo. You have Logie her credit for being Bob said we re Only keeping track of people who ddn l Kathie i eyes were sweeping the crowd i knew in 1 Jusi knew it. The chancellors did l make maybe they had logo out of town i suggested. They a sep d thai they would be that s the last Pontiac 1 buy from Boh said. Give him a break 1 pleaded. People Are still arriving. He could have been held up in Don t kid yourself Kathie said. The Way Chan cellar drives he would have been Here by do you see Mary Anne and Carlos Sullivan Bob said to Kathie. Why should i Sec he sullivans 1 told you we were wasting a stamp when we sent them an invitation. They re much in Hoisy toils to come 10 a wedding on Long Island. If it in t Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson j nuptials they re not int retled forget the Sullivani and give credit to those woo Are Here like the flicks the Chicks and the Bob said we gave the sullivans a Damn Nice wedding present and never even got a thank Vou in tile of everything i told them you have a Lovely group of people Here and i double if you could accommodate arty More the ones i hate the most Kathie said Are the friends who Call up at the last moment and Teil you that they have Swine Why do you hate them i asked her. Because we Hill have to pay the caterer whether they come or you re ruining your Day keeping score of All the no shows at your reception i said. Nol me said Bob i never take anything across 1 Ungro 4 nine 7 favors one leg is Porter lit actress Gardner 14 Madrid month 15 triangular Nail 16 latin 18 rocks in bar 19 come in 20 predicate 47 that s it 48 just great 52 Newn hour so tort Topping m Call Day so world labor ant. 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