European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - June 17, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                S8.3 photo by Dave Didio from it Jay Jennifer Chieu my and Janine. Beckett mat his wife when he was stationed in Vietnam. By my an Iron Butterfly mad of ice a Fly us Eara Iti fid i to the warded life was years of stress ripped Days and dangerous nights. When Jarry Lell lot the office in the morning Chieu my knew that before quitting time he could wind up being scraped off a tree somewhere. His office was lined with Trees. The misty enemy crawling Jungle Hills around Dalat. About 150 Miles Northeast of Saigon. He worked along enemy Enlil Lvalion routes in free fire Jonea and other Hilling  was a bad place for a Young Soldier to earn a living wage says Jerry unless he really believed in what he was doing i  alter Itiba birth of their first two children to is cells were warned by the Viet Cong if you Don t leave Well finish you. Well finish your  Jerry and Chieu slept with weapons close protected by guards and a Carman Shepherd dog that would attack anything in Black  Bui in was t just Viet Cong the becketts had to Battle. A More ancient enemy prejudice flourished even in the War zone. In some sections of vietnamese society says Chieu my there was a stigma against the Union of an american Soldier and a vietnamese woman. Chieu my was upper crust. Troi of Good grief exclaimed her friends. She had attended the Best school for girls. What in the world was she doing marrying a lowly 61, a round Eye my friends turned their backs on me she recalls and i was deeply  but there was too much serious business such is staying alive for the becketts to worry excessively Over xenophobic mutterings. Chieu my s father would die and the rest of the family especially her Mother would grow close to Jerry As time passed. Finally in 1972, after More than six years Jerry Beckett s Lime in Vietnam was Over. He end his wite Ira Velad to America and. For Chieu my there was the 1986 ancient enemy. "11 was a knee Jerk Assumption by Many americans says Jerry that All vietnamese who married soldiers were just brainless worthless tar girls Whoso Only motivation was eagerness to get to the land of the big  my Well through a period of Tow self esteem. Of inferior feelings. People would give me a Little look you know raise their eyebrows and i fell they had already made up their minds about  she go lived of hearing speak English when Jerry took her Home to a Lille town in West Virginia people stopped on she spree and stared he recalls. I Don t think hey had Ever seen an Oriental human being in the Flash before. Bui it was soon of. In fact wherever we went most people soon got past the stereotype. Once they got to know her they liked her. At work Church  they got past the stereotype Pally because Chieu my helped them. I wanted to show americans i was somebody. I was brought up to be Humble. To be a wife a Mother. In Asia we let the Man Lake the first step. In Vietnam the woman has the More submissive role. In Vietnam you separate the two. The world of Iho Home and tha world  in the United Statos she found women were More assertive More aggressive. To be somebody Chieu my realized Smo would have to step out of the shadows. She was managing a Home had started her first year of undergrad work was raising four kids and working a regular Job All at once Jerry says. Chieu my leans Forward in her chair dark eyes shining. I went to College full time in the first Parl of the Day and worked at Union Carbide assembling electrical paits from 4 . To Midnight. When i Gol Home i did housework until 2 or 3 o clock in the morning took a Little sleep then got my children off of  Laler she would ask herself. How did i do thai and then she did i some More. She got her Bachelor s degree in sociology and started on her master s. But As she came to grips with the american Way. Things were going to hell in Vietnam. In 1975 her country was suddenly swallowed up and her family was in limbo. Jerry we tried to persuade them Locombo out Belore chg communists look Over but they hesitated. To lose everything again to have to Start from scratch again to leave the country they loved was nol the easiest decision to make. And they never Houghl the  would just let the country go  under it Well aft North vietnamese troops swept into Saigon. Chieu my i looked at the television and my mind went Blank. My Mother three Brothers and sister were somewhere out in that chaos and we did t know what had happened to them Jerry the emotions in our family Al hat Lime were just unbelievable. Our marriage underwent a lot of Strain for months we did t hear anything. We fell powerless. Time Well on and pressure built up. Other problems we were always Able to resolve. But How could we resolve this. A whole country millions of eople Down the tube she was constantly crying looking to me 1o do something. I got to a Point where i nearly blacked out on Vietnam. I thought. To hell with Vietnam i did t want to hear the word Vietnam one More Lime. 1 could t Bear it. Being an american and brought up the Way i was. You know americans win. Americans Don t quit americans Don t Bug out. I had ,.-se friends i had run in the Jungle Wilh for years. These weren t the cowardly vietnamese the Media kept writing about. I was their adviser but they needed no advice from me they were As Good As any soldiers i be Ever seen. After the communists took Over they  be killed murdered and wind up in prison Camps. 1 Felt ashamed so helpless. I had All these feelings churning within me. But i kept them pretty Well bottled up did t talk about  How did their marriage survive Chieu my i saw what he did Over there. How hard he tried. How much he loved Vietnam what helped us through it was our family cur children. The love we had for each other. Our Strong lies Wilh the  Jerry i would say that it the relationship is Strong enough the Bond is Strong enough you can overcome anything one Day crying time was Over Chieu my sat Down and wrote a letter. Whether it would Ever reach its destination or not she had no idea. It was addressed Premier Pham Van Dong. Hanoi North Vietnam she asked him to release her Mother. In Hose Days boat people were sneaking out into the South China sea but virtually no one was getting out of Saigon and the South legally. She us sits Down and writes a letter to old Pham Van Dong this hard Assed communist to let my Mother go and it works Jerry says. Who would have bet on it now her Mother s living in  it was Worth the Chance she says. I could t give up this summer Chieu my. Now 40. Is to receive her master s degree in human services. She s also working As a management assistant with the . Army in Heidelberg. Her advice to other vietnamese other asian wives is to step out of the shadows get cranked up and go for it. I have had moments of discouragement and doubts she says. I be cried. I be Felt Low feelings for myself. Bui to me this Chance is too rare too precious. Why give it away there Are Many Many people in Vietnam who will never have such a Chance. Why nol do it right