European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - July 16, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Wednesday. July 16. 1986 the stars and stripes Arm Landers dear Ann Landers i refer to the letter from upset in  How Nice to know that i am not the Only person who feels that birthing was not intended to be a Spectator sport. I could no More have had an audience to observe those sacred occasions than to have invited family and friends to wit Ness the Conception of my Chil Dren. I am amazed at some of my j acquaintances who have lugged their High priced video equipment into the operating room and taken pictures of the entire procedure. The father is so Busy with his photography that he has no time to give emotional support or help his wife through the difficult times. Suddenly he is a film pro Ducer and that is what he is Busy with at a time when his wife needs him to squeeze her hand. Another thing that puzzles me is How mothers can give birth at Home and encourage their Young children o witness the procedure. They say it makes it  labor pains being what they Are i think the youngsters would be so traumatized by witnessing the pain that they would be frightened off of motherhood forever. Am i wrong what is your opinion old fashioned in Racine wis. Dear Racine there Are different schools of thought on this subject Bat i tend to agree that it should be strictly a husband and wife Aflalo without cameras recording the procedure for posterity. To each his own Bat i do believe it is Best to spare Young children from witnessing the excruciating pain and the blood. It can be terribly frightening unless there is Reat Deal of preparation. Dear Ann Landers i would like to offer what i think is at least one of the reasons daughters tend to remain closer to their families before and after marriage than do sons. When my husband and i were first married asked him to Tell me his parents birthdays and anniversary and the birthdays of his Brothers and Sisters so i could Send cards. Guess what he did t know any of the dates. After Many years of marriage he finally knows at least the months. How Many mothers get letters from their married sons or Are the letters written by the son s wife in the past few months i have Learned something i Hope i can remember when my son is grown. Mothers in Law should remain on Good terms with their Daugh ters in Law or they could find themselves left out a lot. In talking with friends i have discovered that most sons after marriage Drift away from their parents. If there is a warm close relationship it s because the daughter in Law fostered it. Waco Texas dear Waco there s a great Deal of troth to your theory. When the Mother in Law does not get along with her son s wife she invariably sees Ery Little of him after marriage. So establish a Good relationship with the woman your son chooses Mother or you May find yourself on the of tilde looking in when those special occasions come around and Yon want to be included. Operation daughter in Law should Start Early from the minute Yon suspect she might become one. Almost always she will meet Yon More than half Way. A Mara la tag to Witta to Nawa Amaila. ?.mayaddraaa Thurl Attara in Cara Oltha Stara and str Paa Apo 09211. . Forcada Page 11 letters comments about asian spouse stories since my wife is from Thailand i read with great interest your series on asian wives. Almost everything that you put Forth was truthful and some cases even enlightening. I did take exception to the fact that you seemed to portray asians As being a people who Are racially prejudiced. I have never experienced such with my wife s family and friends. Normally i have found that asians accept us round eyes and our Black red and Brown Brethren on an individual basis. If one is a decent person then the color does not matter at All. A lot of us lowly gis Are decent people who Are readily accepted by any society. To be perfectly Frank i Felt More Welcome in Asia than i Ever Felt in Europe. There was one Point that i very much agree with. Those of us who have asian spouses must learn the language of our spouse. This is the key to understanding and actually a Basic human need communication. I just wanted to Point out some misconceptions that could arise from Reading this series without really knowing what was . Robert a. Baird Worms Germany i be just read the article trapped in abusive marriages in your daily Magazine edition of asian wives military husbands. I d like to Correct a few misconceptions created by comments printed in this article. Filipino women have come a Long Way since the concept of being considered second rate  we have a female president to prove it. She is not an exception. We be had women mayors governors and senators since 1941. What May be construed As male superiority is the practice of double Standard and male Macho concept prevalent in the filipino society. Culture has folded male and female roles from birth and support them in general society. Male stronger sex main bread Winner head of the  weaker sex nurturer homemaker. Presently necessity for better financial status has changed this role for the present filipino generation. Males an females now work to support the family and some times the extended family with exception to the very Rich or uneducated unskilled female. Abusive marriages in the filipino society is As unacceptable As in any society. It stems from the same social problems As in any place it presents itself. Alco holism substance abuse poverty personality disorder Etc. The difference lies in How each society deals with this problem. An abused filipino wife would be reluctant to get out of the relationship for several reasons. If she were uneducated or unskilled she would be afraid to leave for fear of not knowing where to get her next meal worse she thinks about the children. An educated woman would be reluctant to get out of the relationship for fear of disgrace from her family the children and Lack of support from society. Divorce is neither recognized nor accepted by the government pen pal i Muu Dot pit from Odowo Ounim. I to Kyun out Ema Uram inc Nystol in pm Mil Iron Brokl. I Ira 21 Yun of. My Lubun in pm and wrung Tromp in etto Oul  of    St. Jaroma Ardao Davao City. Phlp Paai would Ata pan Pala from Al Ovar a world. I am 17 Yawara old. Comoa of by Alzaaa  dining  Glioma Ion a world. I Mil Yawara old and Anjoy i loud moan pah from abroad. I am 17 Yawara  Catholic Church and society. Filipinos Are predominantly Catholic and believe m the Sanctity and Perma Nency of marriage. The abused wife s Only support would be her family and friends although she would feel the disgrace of failed marriage. A filipino married to an american living away from her Home country and in an abused marriage compounds a Large problem. It is also very wrong to say male children Are preferred Over  girls Are As much cherished a boys. A filipino Man May want to have a boy to carry the family  someone to take Over responsibilities when he is  but definitely female babies Are very Welcome. . Torrejon a Spain death dealer likes name a front Page article concerning the Pentagon s Dis allowance of the name death dealer for the i corps Battle group Emblem caught my attention. My Call sign in Vietnam was death dealer 26."we in the 2nd pit 235th Aerial weapons co an a 1g cobra company were proud of that name. I aptly described our Mission of seeking and destroy ing the enemy. It gave us a feeling of strength and capability. It was inspiring. To worry about associating the word death with a Battle group seems silly. Their Mission is to Clos with and destroy the enemy. That is bound to involve death. Avoiding the word won t change that. In my opinion death dealer is a much More appropriate name than phantom  maj. Daniel Marshall Lan Stuhl Germany no rudeness monopoly i am writing in response to a recent letter concerning ugly  the woman who wrote the letter seems to think that stubbornness and rudeness Are strictly american Quali ties. There Are certainly Many rude americans As Well As germans englishmen French italian Spanish and any other nationality you can name i am sure most american servicemen can think of an incident with a rude person who happens to be from the country they Are stationed in but that does mean everybody from that country is rude. The author of that letter definitely showed that she was t rude by apologizing to the stewardess for that couple s actions. I am not condoning people who Are rude but let snot stereotype nationalities because of the actions of a few fools. . 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