European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - July 18, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 18 columns the stars and trip Fri Intuit ions perfect chair not quite perfect by Andy Rodney 1 was determined to have the perfect Lawn chair this summer. Never mind whether the Lawn is perfect. During inc Winter i decided to make the chair. I killed on a simple design adapted from Chain i Diccon and liked. We have several of those Canvas deck Chain and while they re wonderfully comfortable. Wanted to build something More substantial. We also have1 some chairs Wilh Nylon seals an backs stretched Over aluminium framing. They re practical because they re easy to move when you want to gel out of the Sun or mow the Lawn but they dont have much Dan. 1 waled to build an outdoor chair with class. The daisies outdoor furniture air those heavy leak benches made in England. I could t duplicate one of those but i did want mine made of Good solid Wood. Wooden outdoor furniture has some drawback because it s heavy hard to move and needs painting every couple of Yean but that s what i Obj deter mined to make. I figured what i needed and bought some Good Redwood Waterproof glue and exterior White paint. I Drew a rough sketch of my chair on i thin piece of plywood and Cut that out As a pattern. The two tide were a rough h shape. Looking at it from the Side the left upright of the h made the rear legs and extended up to support the crosspieces of the Back of the  front upright of the h was lower. The Arm rest wide enough to put drinks on came from Halfway up the upright. Am i losing you the Lati for the seat were supported by the crowbar of the h. I was determined 10 make the perfect outdoor chair. My chair was t going to rot after � few sum mers r Cut every piece 10 fit and where two piece of Wood were to touch each alter 1 soaked them in Wood preserver. Wood rots where two pieces touch each Oiher and can t dry  allowing the Wood preserver to dry for a week i put three coals of paint on every piece of the chair before assembling it. Painting it first enabled me to gel at places thai would have been hard to paint once it was together. The Only parts i did t paint were the places to be covered Wilh glue. 1 use wooden dowels and a few brass screws to hold n together along with the Best Waterproof  did t Rush the Job i let everything dry thoroughly before i took the next step finally my chair was assembled but i still was t satisfied because i d banged up the paint Job in a few places during the Assembly process. To put inc Fin Ishing touches on in i bought a quart of expensive epoxy paint. To put this Flint hard finish on it a smoothly As possible 1 rented a Small paint sprayer. Using epoxy you Pul a second Coal on before the firsts quite dry because epoxy is so hard and Glossy it wont even Slick to itself once it s dry. Finally my chair was finished. I was sure i d made the ultimate outdoor chair. I d even put Little boat shaped feel on tie legs so they would i sink into wet ground. The feet also make the chair easier to move without it Ting. In the privacy of my own shop i stood gazing my work with smug admiration for a Job Well done. No one would see this moment of Triumph bul myself As i prepared 10 sit in it for the first time. 1 made Quick swipe across my Tail to Brush off any dirt i might have accumulated on my Khaki work pants and gently lowered myself into what i considered might quite possibly be the greatest outdoor chair of All time. It s uncomfortable to sit on. A Dagger aimed at everyone Byar Buchwald the supreme court s decision upholding a Georgia Law making sodomy a crime was a landmark decision and As will All landmark decisions Many citizens Are very  not onry homosexuals Are worried by the court s ruling but in has scared the pants off heterosexuals As Welt i know this because we of my Best friends Are heterosexuals and they confide in me a Tot. Mating 1 stud if homosexuals Are nol Safe in tic privacy of Chw domes who will be next of believe you Are unduly pessimistic i said. The court would never do to heterosexuals what it has done to homosexuals. Many of the justices Are heterosexuals  Nevertha Jess Ribeir decision is a Dagger aimed at everyone wow believes in a private sex life. If the stat can go into be bedroom and arrest two people per fam Nanc an i which has been declared illegal what is to prevent it Tyrom going into a room next door and routing out a couple doing something thai is consid ered twice As weird Why would the stale wan to do something like that i asked. Became the people who write the jaw dictating what sex acts Are Legal and illegal would like to Rule out everything but the missionary position. They want to Tell us now to do it no they dont. No one has Ever told me what Lodo in the bedroom then let meat you How you feel about Ibe Pillo Gamel ". I Don t know the Pillow  you beat each other with pillows until there Are no feathers left in the esses. They re talking about forbidding that to  you heterosexuals Are so hysterical. The next thing you re going u Tell me is that body painting your mate will be declared a crime in South Dakota. In will be if tickling is involved. Don l you under stand thai once the supreme court had gone through the bedroom door there is no Way of getting it out. Eight men and one woman Are no substitute for Onedra. Ruth  this is no Lime for panic what you practice i your own Home whether it be the jewel in the Lotus the gift to the ceiling or the Corkscrew motion will not be forbidden provided it meets the Community standards of at least five of the nine judges. It is Only homosexuals who can t practice these things behind closed doors. You heterosexuals should be Nappy that what you reve in in not against the Law and that you live in a country where anything goes. In some societies achieving the great Delight of enlightenment1 Wilh the Large we can get you 10yearirajail". But the supreme court has everyone cringing. I Georgia can pass a Law against one Type of lovemaking Why can l Arkansas enact one against another pretty soon there will be no positions  even if they do pass a Law i said your Home instill your Castle sad in would have to be very unusual circumstances that would let police crash in 1"possibly, but heterosexuals Are very nervous peo ple and Hist the knowledge thai there May be some one on the other tide of the bedroom door will inhibit us from engaging in the lab Yum  blame the supreme coun for Chatt because when you Start taking away the lab Yum position from one person then you Start taking Ila Way from  today s crossword by Eugene Sheffer across to scope1 psycho 45 learn Motel Wiur 9 Way drink 9 play section12 Verdi output 13 eggs14 damage completely47yorkte, for one49 Dodge 12 Spanish queens3 mine yield bad it Bra is european us Lair 2 mimic3 landscape 4 new in rec canal8 hourglass Mia Spud  b course goal 9 acid Finch badly is amerind 20 Register drawer bill21 Oblong 23 posed24 Perch 23 single component 27 Ohnutek 29 Mussolini Savl Nerby an Ron s wife37 trial record38 circe . 41 refrain syllables43 scoundrel it catch17 pot in off Mcdown 1 Derek Ettl type0 side1 sidewalk eateries11 Rendez Vous 17 cheered 19 City of Georgia 21 vat22 chemical sufh24 Cook s formula short26 Lack of musical ability 28 mexican indians30 sunbathing solution time. 22 Rains. A term a a Aimer 7-18 Yankee Doodle Dandy-34 army pack 39 wine Type 38 gorged99 actress dunne40 showed the film again 42eydtevspouse 45 Only diabolical 48 charged atom 50 final  super lath in flux 7-18 Nubert