European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - October 27, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 18 columns the stars and stripes monday october 27,18fl8 today s crossword 10 rules for pro football owners by Andy Rooney Here Are 10 rules i d go by if owned a profession Al football team there would be four salary Levels. No first year Man would malic More Money than a Veteran even if the Rookie was a Heisman trophy Winner. Everyone on the starting team would make the same whether he was a quarterback or an offensive guard. The Only exceptions would be that players who had been with the team for More than five years would make 20 percent extra. No one would make s million a year. Dependable substitutes and second stringers would be in the next salary bracket and rookies who Don t play much would get the least. I would t talk to agents. Before the draft i d ask the players for suggestions about whom they d like to have on the team. Before we signed a player we d lest him for strength Speed All around athletic ability and Intelli gence. Every player would have to take an in lest. The team would t sign dumb players. I d try to make the team a pleasant organization to play for but before i signed anyone i d make sure he wanted to play for us. I would t want a player who wished he was playing somewhere else. There would be Only a few reasons for which i d tire a player. For example i would t have any dirt players of the team. The team i follow the new York giants has one dirty player in the defensive Back Field. If i owned the team i d fire him. He docs More harm than Good and anyway i Don t Tike to see the game played that Way. Don t forget it s my team. I d keep players longer than most teams do. Fans would get to knew their names and numbers. They d be there year after year. Loyal players and fan favourites would t be traded. My quarterback would Call his own plays. They would t be sent in by the coach. If the coach or spotter upstairs saw something special three or four limes a game that the quarterback could t see he could Send it in As a suggestion. Generally speaking my quarterbacks would be smarter than my coaches. I d pay some attention to the fans. At the stadium no one would have to pay 12 for a fat Magazine called a program that does t have anything in it. Instead the management would hand out a one Page Sheet with the names and numbers of the players on both teams. When my team won the super bowl 1 would t go Down to the locker room to have Champagne poured Over my head while accepting a phone Call from the president and a cup of a jus9 on the Side by James Kilpatrick let me offer three rules that should be permanently inscribed above the desk of every writer. The Rule shave to do with foreign words and phrases do not use foreign words or phrases without a compelling reason for doing so. If you must use a foreign word or phrase for pole s Sake get it right. If you re not certain that you have it right get some professional help. These strictures Are prompted by several recent contributions. From Florida comes an auctioneer s advertise ment he is offering objects objects d fro North Carolina comes a menu for the Cross Creek country club its Buffet will include steamship round with a us with the Juire from a restaurant guide in Madison wis., comes an and for the Essen Haus there guests will find be must Lic Keil still More notable ii a mailing from inc country club of Birmingham ala., promoting a gourmet candlelight dinner. This was to begin with followed by Northern pile arc Stonier accompanied by a Boque Titre of vegetables lettuce with Radoichin Lindenburg cheese Dumi tas and Petit Fores. This was at j30 per person. I tackle that menu with trepidation. The soup is coins ammo the gentleman s name was Rothschild Cre Sonier must mean with watercress Radochio might be radicchio an italian red Chico Rythe cheese May have been a Mourner though it seems like a smelly Choice the Little cup of Coffee is a Demi Lysse and those Liny cakes Are Petit fours. A Petit four in crap shooting is known As Little Joe. I Don t mean to be Loo critical. Maybe this is French As she is spoke at the gourmet candlelight dinners of the country club of Bir Mingham ala., but would t English have been better stick with English sure there Are Many times when the foreign word or phrase cannot be with Confidence and flair the alien expression May add a Nice touch. But remember rules 2 and 1. And keep Mawson s dictionary of foreign terms Crowell 1973 on a nearby shelf. The mail brings some splendid homophones. Vera Sutkova finalist in the . Open Tennis championships. Just wailed at the Ball. In Northern Indiana police explored the site of a religion cult s activities they found a ramshackle House surrounded by "waste-highweeds.". In Flea Anion calif., supporters of a referendum waited with baited breath for their petition drive to succeed. From the scripts Howard Washington Bureau came an item about a House subcommittee which overseas the Usa today in a feature about the water shortage in Alabama reported that Mac Mekinney had re Lumen to her ringer Washer. The Chicago Sun times let us know that the late Theodore h. While was Tough and Inci Toful but always fair.". Time Magazine reported from Little Bighorn that the Bones of 34 of Custer 5 men had been reburied in an internment ceremony.". The Seattle times noted that the effect of higher garbage Rales was to illicit Shock and the University of Illinois came an article about the natural history museum s collections they peek Public interest.". The new York times had the straight dope about it is purified cocaine in Pellet form that Sells in viles.". The Denver Post Ina gust reported that a pit Bull terrier had attacked a talking Concrete pig outside a Barbecue establishment something activated the pig s censor and the dog ripped the pig speaker to Columbus a enquirer recalled a grizzly 1981 murder Fiat inflamed passions in Central Iowa a congressional candidate acknowledged that once be had said something less than rapturous about Sioux City his manager was trying to diffuse the potential controversy.". The Chicago Tribune kept us up to Date on g. Gor Don Liddy he s peddling his Security a column intended for senior citizens the Indianapolis news responded to a woman who had cared for her elderly Cousin for two years prior to the Cousin s death from cancer. She wondered about Ber Cousin s estate. Without a will said the news your Cousin s estate will be divided under the Laws of dissent and Ain t it so the homophone of the week award goes to a Meadowbrook swimming Pool i m not sure what state that had to close for some maintenance Bare with us said the notice to patrons. And bring your own Towel by Eugene Sheffer 48 bosh49 wild Plum to curve Ofa ship s acsoss1 Black Birds atones 8 part of on water so abbr. 41 affirm 8thomas 42 Bridge Edison across�12 Mariner s Highway guide 47 gasp 14 plunder15 paycheck padder16 homophone for 14across it Duc Tib Chopin composed many20 valuable Possession 23 arthurian lady 24 Goose chase25 pig out 28 High not ebb dispatch boat30 secreted 32 Ham it up34 Nimbus 35 Carri Chap nun $ French Island 4 started Tennis matche elevator Manit Aries 7 most verdant and toe of 1 . Address z to. After oct. B syllabic with Mouth or speaker10 ballot 11 Sweet pulp fruit is asap in the . 19 neophyte so solemn wonder 21 missile storage ptaco22 croatian 23 oust25 bursts of applause 26jewber�husband 27 Cashiers drawer 29 ancient country 3 Bambi s Modr for one 33 card game 34 occur solution time 27 my. 10-27 Hubert if he keeps those Campaign Wiesw Ellaleen in the poorhouse
