European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - November 6, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse Columns halloween is pretty tame compared to real life by John Windrow h Alloween came and went like a cry in the night. I hardly noticed it. Some of my German neighbors came by and asked me if i was planning to celebrate my american Holiday halloween. I fell a Little Odd telling them Hal i had t Given ii any thought. They were puzzled. If halloween were a German Holiday and i mean halloween not All saints Day they d have Beer tents wine Booths worst stands and brass bands set up from Hamburg to Munich. And everybody would get the Day off. We used to celebrate halloween when i was a kid. For weeks ahead of time we stole Hen eggs and secreted them away to rot. It not hard to gel something to rat in Tennessee in october. And watermelons and pumpkins. Lots of pumpkins. Then everybody piled into pickup trucks and terrorized the nearest place with streetlights. It was a bad night to be out and about. Walking along the Road unsuspecting non combatants were bombarded with decaying eggs and pieces of pumpkin. And firecrackers. Lois of firecrackers. I recall stuffing about a Bushel Basket full of firecrackers and Billle rockets into the civil War Cannon on the courthouse Square on halloween night. I was having j hard time getting them lit i think the Cannon was filled with we leaves and decaying chewing gum wrappers and was throwing one Kitchen match after another into the Cannon s Mouth. I failed to notice a truck Load of Tough Guys approaching. You know the rest. They drove by the Cannon roared a mighty Roar and suddenly i was being chased Down the Street with my hair and eyebrows singed by an enraged gang waving firecrackers pumpkins and Rotten egg. Several coca cola bottles broke merrily on the Street behind me As i progressed in a rather frantic Zig Zag motion past the Bank and Barber shop and headed for the police department. I intended to turn myself in As a prankster and request a cell for the night. But the Tough Guys wearied of the Chase at that Point and went off on other pursuits tarring and feathering drawing and quartering stuff like that. There used to be trick or treating for the Little kids. Sickos have pretty much taken the Joys out of thai with their razor Blades in apples and hairpins in Caramel Candy. If you have to take the kids by the Hospital to get everything a Rayed what s the usef and there s no outhouses anymore. The Standard american halloween prank for years was pushing the outhouse Back behind the toilet pit and hoping someone would come ambling out in the Middle of the night and walk off into it. What rustic Charm. One halloween i Gol my hands on a dead Fox Don t ask me How and took it to the local hangout. A place where people drove round and round in endless circles looking for members of the opposing gender. Tough Guy were always there. So were if is. I took my dead Fox into the ladies room and leaned him against he toilet. He looked As if he had just finished a Long wearying run and was leaning against the bowl to catch his breath. We had a Grent time watching people walk in Lurn on the Light and then come howling out. For iome reason they always went in before they switched on the Light. The Tough Guys liked it so much they let me ride around the courthouse once with them in their truth. But those Days arc done. There s another Grent reason not to celebrate halloween Harry Houdini never came Back. Harry made live elephants disappear on stage and escaped from the toughest jails. Or he would have himself bound chained manacled handcuffed and nailed in a Box. Then his cheerful assistants would throw the Box in the drink. Harry alway emerged smiling to do a dare another Day. On his deathbed he told his wife to Wall up for him every halloween. But he never came Back. How can we celebrate halloween without him i was giving All this some thought the other Day about not celebrating halloween and i started looking at some old wire stories i d Laved. One from Vancouver wash., concerned a Man charged with anon who torched his apartment after fighting with his Roommate. His lawyer said the accused was beside himself at losing a pain by number rend lion of the last from fort Worth Texas came a dispatch about the funeral of a retired Chicken processor. Three women who All claimed to be his wives had hired limousines for the funeral. The Man had been struck by a car and killed while crossing the Street no one knows the dispatch said Why the Chicken processor was crossing the of come now. Then i came across a recent Survey that said More americans get pleasure from left vision than from sex. The Story said the Survey of 1,550 men and women 16 and older which appeared in to guide was conducted to find out what was important to people emotionally. Of those surveyed &8 percent said to gave them great pleasure and satisfaction. Sex Drew 42 percent. Sex does take More Energy i guess and the to never gels a headache. But that still strikes me As rather spooky. Like the entire Republic is turning into zombies. And i can always walk through any Public Square a nerf Iee the youth of today out on their sunday strolls with their hair dyed purple and safely pins in their noses no wonder i Don t celebrate halloween every Day is halloween. No need to apologize for taking time to mourn by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear miss manners ult year i differed the Ion of my brother and Hii wife who were killed in an Auto Accident on their Way to Vallil me and my family. We managed to escort the caskets Home and do what Wai Nece Iury. In Ilalue of adrenalin Ruih and numbing Shock. Upon our return Home the whole horror and grief swept Over m. Our family doctor cow eled in that we were truly ill and should be i Pedaus kind to of Nevei. I am Home alone during the Day. It teemed Ai if everyone who Outhet Doorbell came herein Contant Proee Soiu Good Cutet bad cause., zealot Mitlo Kariei poll Uken and general Tanji Lurlei kept me running to the door. Often a ilm pfc no thank you followed by a firm push on the door a no enough to get rid of them. My Hub Atid Migge led a do not Der turn Ign. Where it might have worked h would Alto have driven away Thoie i mod needed to tee the Friend coming to offer their , i pm one a Bdl Nitt Bon from Mac Mack Bow to when ton people thought i an Imp Uve gesture by Bop i out the real intent would be Unden Tood and req cited. Later i heard Othen lament the patting of the formal Black Wreath to protect them in their time of need. Can t there be iome Way to indicate the need Lor privacy Al thai Tiro in people1 lived one suffers a Good bit to avoid being thought of As theatrical comic or hut Plain Odd. Gentle Reader it is Odd indeed that one must fear being considered Odd for requiring a period in which to mourn the dead. In miss manners opinion it is the modern attempt to. Do without such emotional safeguards that is Odd mourning signs serve to warn others of one s stale and just because they were done in excess in previous eras there is no reason to abandon them All to a pretence that nothing has happened. She urges you not to concede such phoniness to be Normal or to worry that your very sensible behaviour violates etiquette. Dear miss manners a proud father brought to our office an album of photo recording the birth of hit Taco and child including graphic delivery room photos. Smiling a female co worker and i Laid that Ince we d both had children we knew what delivering a child involved Ai the ume time one of a reached for the Page to turn h Pait the delivery room photo. The father prevented thit by placing one hand on the Page and Wing the other to Point out Varlesi photo explaining in great detail Why Hie child looked the Way it did became of problem during the delivery Proeu. When we finally were Able to View the baby after it wat cleaned up and clothed we could exd aim How cute k Wai along w i All the other appropriate comment. What i the Correct retome in thai ritual Ion gentle Reader can l we skip this and see your baby we re really so much More interested in him than in seeing his delivery or dear miss manners i la be moving Toon and would like some input on How to handle Long distance correspondence with my Parenti in Law both of whom Are very poor communicator. White we lived we Hon 20 mile of each other our family garnering were held mainly became of tradition and Many time they were strained. I am my hit band f second wife and wat never nude to feet part of the family. I have observed that traditionally the wife keep up the letter writing to her husband i family but i have no desire to carry my on. Should i Tell my husband that i am not comfortable with 11 and that Tynce b he family not mine he should take Over gentle Reader ii has always seemed reasonable to. Mils manners that people should write their own letters to their own parents and rather Odd to have this Job removed by the convention of considering All social letter writing to be the wife s duly. She will therefore join you in wishing Good. Riddance to such a convention if you wih oblige her on two mail Points. The first is that when you pass the duty on to your husband you refrain from slating your grievances about How the family treats you. Their being his parents a reason enough. The second it that if he in fact does not perform this duty you generously undertake to Send them major family news. Miss manners is not asking for regular letter writing just letting them know when someone in your household hat been promoted hat a More than routine illness or is having a baby. Ims tit Lett 3
