European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - November 27, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns Bowling May not be so sluggish after All by John Windrow the great Bowling controversy has me spellbound. I May be moved to embrace the Spon. I have never been a Bowling enthusiast heretofore. As a Mailer of fact i have mocked it. I m sure la takes skill and Talent to Excel a Keg Long. But it always seemed so mundane to me so lacking in Flash in panache in style. Bowling i though was crass of the Creal unwashed. I always thought bowlers probably ate baloney and artificially coloured cheese on White bread with Mayonnaise. I suspected they met each other at the Alley and breathlessly revealed they jus Learned they May have won s 100,000 in the Reader s digit it sweepstakes i thought they went Bobbing for apples when the lanes were closed or spent their time squealing tires on the pavement while roaring round and round the local hamburger joint. This undoubtedly sprang from pure jealousy on my part. I Lack the coordination and skill necessary to pick up the Ball propel it in a Graceful gliding curve Down the Lane and scarier pins in All directions like so much chaff before the wind. To be Frank i Lack the coordination and skill to pick up the Ball. I drop it on my foot or my companion s foot. The pen in my shirt pocket Falls out and i stumble Over it hurling the Ball through panicked people to my immediate right or left. I am cursed in All the languages around me. I spill Beer All Over the scoreboard or myself. As my High school football coach told me when he asked me to resign from his team Windrow i Don t think you re very Good at any sport that involves standing  so be ii. Despite this Lack of ability i have become much More interested in Bowling lately. Bawling has been in the news. The wires filed a dispatch last week quoting the president of the american heart association As saying Bowling is bad for people. Or. Kenneth Shine bemoaning the lifestyle of Blue Collar types. Said these people like to bowl which involves a lot of sitting around smoking and  he also said Bowling did l do nearly As much for the cardiovascular system As jogging. I realized then that Bowling May be just what the doctor ordered As far As yours truly is concerned. Everything i enjoy without exception has been roundly condemned by some Bunch of health experts. Coffee for example or alcohol tobacco White sugar animal fat ice Cream Salt idleness sleeping late cholesterol Loo much football on to and red Dye number 2 to name Only a few and that hardly scratches the surface. If a leading health authority has spoken out against Bowling perhaps i might be carried away with it. Since or. Shine disparaged Bowling the devotees of the sport raised their predictable howl and the Good doctor said he did t really mean to say that. But this happens All the Lime when people read what they have said in print and i have Hopes that Bowling May really be right Down my Alley before All this we got a photo from Australia in the newsroom that showed a Burly Man from Down under taking part in something called Dwarf Bowling. He was preparing to fling a midget on a skateboard Down the Lane. The midget wore a crash helmet and had his arms outstretched. The object was obviously to Knock Down As Many pins As possible. I m sure Tome lobby thai professes to love Little people will create a fuss about this and the australians May even be moved to say that they did l Reafy mean o promote Dwarf Bowling i assume that the people engaged in this. Including the Small ones Are doing so for Money and glory. That is their privilege. If anyone is being forced into it i Wilt be among the first to demand a declaration of War against Australia. What i m thinking about is this the Only thing that has really kept me from being a Bowler so far is my singular tack of skill. But if i had some Friendly person on a skateboard helping me Oul i could probably Knock Over a Wagon Load of pins. In other words t could finally look Good at sport. If i were too ungainly too Clumsy Loo maladroit to throw my teammate and skateboard Down the Lane perhaps my Fellows would allow me to push him. Plenty of grease or the wheels should ensure his successful arrival. He could guide himself toward the Kingpin by shifting his body weight. As he slowed through the pins with arms outstretched he d be sure to Knock Over a raft of them. I d look Good and in d be easy. That s my kind of sport. Nat Only that i have the grudging Assurance of the heart association hat this would be a sport i would enjoy. Think of it a sport that s not demanding and bad for you on lop of it. I m going out to buy a red and yellow Bowling shirt tomorrow. A gentleman cherishes her charms with a glance by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear miss manners what i t gentleman to Dol a1 any fancy gathering we May be confronted with a female guest wearing something very revealing Cut very deeply and wide. Are we supposed to try our Best to ignore the How by looking at something else in the room or Are we supposed to give a Quick appreciative glance and show approval or no reaction at ally the apparel a Choice for Tome purpose but what Wai it i will never forget the time i glanced and was caught. The lady let me know that my reaction was not gentlemanly and i should be ashamed of myself. My embarrassment Wai As deep As her cleavage. However Why did the Wear Nich t garment if she did t expect a glance or two i expect the had a Chip on her shoulder and i happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Gentle header what do you mean you expect the had a Chip on her shoulder did t you press your nose against her shoulder to Check Mitt manners Hopes not because the Only individual parts of a lady at which a gentleman May properly stare Are the eyes. Any other obvious interest in specific parts at the expense of the whole person in other words considering a lady the Way one might a Chicken with some people expressing a preference for legs and others breasts is unseemly. Decolle Tage which is what you Are describing As deep cleavage is not some lewd modern invitation but a traditional Cut for ladies evening clothes even those of victorian ladies. While it is obviously intended to be attractive it is not supposed to Rivel the gentleman s attention to the bodice any More than a pretty earring invites him to peek in her ear. A gentleman is supposed to be Clever enough to give a lady a sweeping glance thai checks out whatever interests him without his seeming to pause before reaching the eyes. He May be sure that the lady who is looking so flattering by into his eyes has incidentally managed to notice a great Many details about his person. Dear miss manners while attending a wedding reception recently i noticed the life of Birdseed instead of the traditional Rice for towing onto the Bride and Groom upon their departure. I understand the reasoning behind using bar deed instead of Rice but that brings me to the question of where the tradition of Rice came into being and who originated it. Why Don t we use something like ten Lilit they Mem just u lightweight and colourful a Rice. Gentle Reader Birdseed really who got married your Canary miss manners does not at All understand the reasoning behind such a departure from current practice arid wishes you would enlighten her. Rose petals she has been told Are sorter to the touch and easier to clean up than Rice but these attributes hardly pertain to Birdseed. In return she Wilt attempt to Tell you the origin of the custom of throwing Rice although she must warn you that the sources of such folkways Are always open to dispute and that reasoning has very Little to do with them. In the West the tradition seems to have the same roman origin As the wedding cake. Wheat or other grains were thrown Over the head of the Bride with the guests scrambling to Salvage and eat them As emblems of Good Luck. But while this idea leads direct by to our own habit of throwing Rice at a departing bridal couple it also forked off so to speak into the custom of throwing fragments of cake or biscuit Over the Bride s head an idea that in turn seems to have led to the tradition of the wedding cake. In any Case modern Rice throwing has come to be considered a Symbol of Hope that the marriage will be Fertile which is not always necessary or desirable in today s weddings. Dear miss manners can you believe it my Biliter in Law always want me to Call her before i go to visit her. She Tayi the Doten t Ute anyone to come without calling and ill her Friend Call. To me h menu like a doctor1 office you be got to have an appointment ant when i make a vat h they Are name of. If not i go on a Way and leave note telling them that i Wai there and at what time lint thu right gentle Reader it was before the invention of the Telephone. Not any More. Have � question on etiquette write to mks . Your Meitlon will be forwarded to her. Mum inert regrets that she can Only answer questions in her column  aamnbtri7f i9k