European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - December 18, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 14 columns the stars and stripes thursday december 18,198s today s crossword Holmes sleuths Iran arms Deal Byart Buchwald everyone loves a Good mystery and it is not sur prising hat the Iran contras caper continues to hold our fascination As one of the most bungled cloak and Dagger crimes of our lifetime what do you make of it All i asked Sherlock Holmes in his Federal House in Georgetown. It s very interesting my dear Walson Holmes replied Lamping Down on his pipe the president promised he would get to the Bottom of this and we know less now than we did when he said  do you believe he president is Happy that Pecan t get to he Bottom of it he appears to be extremely  Why is that because he saved Don Regan s Job. Don is like Ason 10 the president and is very Good at shovelling up after the circus elephants go by. Holmes what did Secretary of state George Shultz know and when did he know it that s the most interesting thing Watson. For a Secretary of state Shulti did t know anything at at. He did l even know when Nancy s dog did Doo Doo on the while House Lawn. According to him no one on the presi Dent s staff spoke to him and they Only made decisions Afler he left he room. Scratch Schuliz As a suspect if it was t Schuliz could it have been Bill Casey Holmes puffed on his pipe. Casey has an ironclad Alibi. He was Home laundering Money for Angola when the overcharges for iranian arms were being wished i Switzerland. Besides As Cia director Why would Casey know anything about what was going on in Iran by Jove. Holmes this is getting More difficult than thought. What about the Mann Chap colonel North a Likely suspect Holmes said but you forget one thing. He look the fifth amendment you can t accuse a Man of a crime if he takes the fifth. We have to eliminate Admiral Poindexter on that count As  too bad. I was hoping North and Poindexter could give us a clue Watson we must ask ourself a who had the motto gain from the iranians getting arms and the con tras getting  Imelda Marcos no that s another Case. The on who had the most to gain in this whole affair were the press you Don t believe the presi was behind the whole thing do you. Holmes i Don a but Pat Buchanan   on him. He s just attacking the press so he will get his name in the newspapers. In you want to know what 1 think i see the hand of Richard Nixon in this whole thing. Say we find the smoking gun and make him resign All Over again Watson i would like to think Richard Nixon was to blame bul except for the i b a minute Gabon the tapes we have no evidence. It s True he does keep calling president Reagan which indicates tie feels guilty about something. But unlit Nixon gels up and declares he is not a Crook we cannot consider him a suspect you re probably right Holmes. I suppose the thin thai bothers me the most is while Laws were broken everyone involved has been called a National hero perhaps i May have a clue Watson. As you know the key to the mystery is the secret numbered Bank account in Switzerland. What do they give you wat son when you open a numbered Swiss Bank account depending on the size Holmes Tupperware Coffee pot a cuisinart a toaster an Orange juice Squeezer and if you put in More than 130 million a microwave , Walson. Whoever opened thai account in Switzerland was Given one of those items and it is now in his Possession. If we find it Well know who committed one of the most amateurish crime of the  by Jove. Holmes you re right. Let s have a  go to George Bush s Kitchen and i la go to Bob Mcfarian s an then Well go together to see what they re cooking upstairs at the White  be los angelas Talmot Christmas spirit can be catching by Joe Murray Lufkin Texas be careful. The Christmas spirit will get you if you Don t Walch out. Yeah i know what you May be thinking. Not me. I Veblen inoculated with the Scrooge vacant guaranteed immunity against All things merry and Bright bul i know of what i speak. I was once As you Arenow a cynic for All seasons but especially during the holidays. Then i came face to face with Juan and All that changed. Actually in was More on the order of face to card the card attached to something called the children s tree at k Mart stores. As you can imagine i was there against my wishes to begin with. Bul in was my wife s wish her birth Day wish in fact. Whal do you want to do for your birthday i made the mistake of asking. A want you to be a real husband she said. Go Christmas shopping with  there s just no satisfying a demanding woman. Anyway there we were her being Happy ambling upon k Man aisle and Down the other me being Grumpy standing As close As 1 could to the nearest exit ii was then and there that i became acquainted wit Juan. He s 4 years old. His pants size is 5 slim shirt size 5 shoe size 9. His number is 440. He is one of dozens of children who Are waiting for someone More fortunate someone like you or me Totake them into our hearts Hen at Christmas. And in doing so Lake their card from the children s tree. Each card attached to the tree lists the first name a identification number and clothes sizes of a needy child in the Community As supplied by local Charity Organiza  select a name buy a gift of clothes from the store of your Choice k. Mart stresses wrap in attach the card and return in to the tree by dec. 18. On Christmas Day your rift will be under the tree in thai child s Home such children As no. 439, Matthew 3 years pants 4 top 4 shoe s. No. 31, Crick 2 years pants 3 top 3 shoe 7. No. 190, Charles 2 years pants 3-4 lop 3 shoe 6. No. 145, Ursula i year pants 2 top 16 to. Shoe no. 170, Ambrous 11 years pants 29w 30l top,16 shoe 8vi, the basketball coach might do Well to apply for amorous no. 408, Elvia 2 years pants 5 tops shoes 6h. Those Are Only a few of the names. There Wen Many More too Many perhaps Tor each and every one to deselected before Christmas. But two other names in particular caught my Eye and moreover caught me up in the spirit of Christmas. One was Angel age 9 the other was Christ age 12. Bah Humbug huh. Better not even pout. You never know who May be making a list. So it is that i m climbing aboard that yuletide Bandwa gon known As Santa s Sleigh. For sure the Best Way to make this a Happy Christmas for you and yours is to helpmate it Happy for someone else. Here s wishing a merry Christmas to Juan. As for Theresa Matthew and Derick Charles and Ursula am Orous and Elvia and All the others i left them for you Angel and Schrut in particular Are wailing to hear from you.  by Vlco by Eugene Sheffer across1 catches slang5 Bounder 8 Earl victim 12 Buttera Terna Tive 14 do Road work15  thine own Belnie 16 damage it entreaty is Bun well20 shopping site22 minstrels it timrs26 monastery 37 Branch a police science 40 Sty cry41 return or the "46 Bud s rlvef47 greek ii 49 slate50 Porte 61 won soup 52 mob53 fewer 04 envisions6 inner prefix Down head Honcho 2 Nota weather 3 Nec Mesmore solid 4 apartment furniture item5 Oasis sight6 Nabokov novel7 not Active s cider Start 9 of the dance 10 night preceding 11 paitune9 is per milled 21 affix23 inclined 24 Fleming Milieu 26 see 3down 26 Melvill character 27 actor 12-18 Nubert ims account Oroo Severus  with 9upes