European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - December 22, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 16 the stars and stripes monday december 22,1986 columns columnist licensed to err again by Russell Baker new York. Not any number of people Well at least five have written noting that i was wrong when writing that John Ehrlichman once pro Kosedlo let John Mitchell twist slowly in the the Man for whom this medieval destiny was pro posed was not John Mitchell Hen attorney general of the United slate but Patrick Gray Ihen the acting director of the Fri. What Ehrlichman actually said about Gray according to pertinent pages of official manuscript volunteered by Barry Gam Noel of new York City was Well think we ought to let him hang there let him twist slowly slowly m the wind Ehrlichman incidentally was one of president Nixon s chief White House factotum when he committed the partially memorable utterance which i now regret having mentioned sine the correction requires this Long winded space consuming and Dull identification of so Many political has beens. While wallowing in ashes sackcloth would look fancier than my regular wardrobe let me thank All those readers who Are writing about the giant rat of Sumatra. In a recent list of the 125 most publicized things that could get you. I included giant rat of battalions of Sherlock Holmes addicts instantly dropped heir hypodermic a a attacked me with let ters saying in effect can t even gel the elementary things right can you old chop obviously you meant the giant rat of Allan Drew of Bradenton fla., urges me to look up Baring Gould s annotated Sherlock Holmes to see an illustration of the Sumatran rodent he assumes i had in mind. How do these people know what i had in mind when putting giant rat of Borneo on the list As a newspaper columnist i am licensed to write Wilh absolutely nothing in mind. Confess though that giant Borneo rats do not figure in my nightmares As the other 124 items on thai list radon eating Lead paint dioxin Etc do. Maybe what i meant was giant rat of a beast i encountered while walking through the Lexington Market one night in 1948, which looked big enough to kick a horse to death. In any Case 1 regret having mentioned the thing and big Sherlock Holmes addicts to drop their pens and gel Back to solving the mystery of whether Holmes really died in the famous struggle with pro Fessor Moynihan at Niagara Falls. Before leaving the 125 most publicized things that could get you let s also dispose of George Carlm. He ii a comedian who Long before my list was published recorded a performance of things to watch out How Many such thing he lists is hard to Tell from listening since he runs through them at supersonic Speed. Certain people in my own family foreheads who have complained for years that i kept them on 2s-cent-per-week allowances when All their Peers were getting enough from the old Man to slay numb on marijuana accuse me of stealing Carl in s material. How Little they understand me. Had i known the Carlin list was available for theft i would have plagiarized it years ago i am a newspaper columnist obliged by the dismal nature of the Trade to have 150 ideas a year. Einstein could t have had ideas at that rate. What s More giant rat of Borneo is not on Carlin s list. Now a certain pedant says my French was wrong when i quoted Talleyrand As saying surtout Pas do Zele above All no Zeal. He says it should be Pas de if like me you begged for Transfer to Sheet Metal shop after the third week of ninth Grade French you May not know that confusing de and do is grounds for summer school. It is inconceivable i am told that Talleyrand would have said Pas do the Only possible phrase is Pas de Zele i Hope that All you Young cutthroats who think it would be swell to become newspaper columnists As soon As you gel out of College his Spring Are still Wilh me for such piffle As this is the reality behind the supposed Glamour of the columnist s life All right or. New Cardenal Pedan Lico hear this that quotation you say is impossible was taken word for word including the offending do straight from . Mencken s a new dictionary of quotations published by Alfred a. Knopf in 1957. Feel free to argue language with Mencken and the practically flawless 1957 House of Knopf. Not 1. Sources that Are unimpeachable persuade me that while Talleyrand May have known his diplomacy he never passed ninth Grade French. Enough of this groveling. Let me get Back to work so 1 can err again. World s safest toy not much fun by Dick West Washington up1 once again responsibility for developing the safest toy on the Market this Christmas is being acc pled by a California safety organisation. Probably not even the Federal government could find anything hazardous about the bloat Al though it May not be much fun to play with the toy apparently is recall proof. Which Means that nobody will be snatching it from under Christmas Trees Between now and dec. 25. To quote Dale Lowdermilk executive director of not Safe which is offering bloat balls for Sale for Only $850 each plus Tan this incredible toy has absolutely no Sharp considering All that has happened this season that could make you subject to a pos Holiday damage suit this is no Small matter. You never know when a child on your shopping list May play with the toy you bought. Moreover Lowdermilk assures us with an 18-Inch diameter and weighing 1 i pounds a bloat Ball is Loo Large to be accidentally swallowed. However he adds each contains Micron Caps lated natural laxative just in not Safe apparently has thought of everything. For $850, it should. The bloat Ball has been on the Market for Only about two weeks but already orders Are starting to flood the Headquarters of the organization that devel oped it Lowdermilk writes. And no wonder 1 might add. Peace of mind alone is Worth the Purchase Price. According to some literature Lowdermilk sent me bloat is a Trade name for Trich Tsin Menre i Hope i have spelled that correctly. I never was Loo Good Al chemical terminology. However when Lowdermilk guarantees thai the ingredients Are Chemi Cally inert with no artificial colouring i believe it not Only is he touting the world s safest toy but one he claims will provide hours of mindless the bloat Ball has undergone hundreds of rigor Ous safety inspections which have somewhat affected the Price and it has been produced in iterate environment of a scientific Laboratory free of germs he told me. That makes them different from toys which Are mass produced in Hong Kong sweatshops and cab Bage any fool can see that. 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