European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - January 5, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse Monday january 5, 1967 the stars and stripes Anh Landers Dir Ann Landers Holiday time it Over and i m Flad. Come from a big family out i might u Well be an orphan. Nobody it speaking to anybody hit year Why because they Are Bunch of hol tempered loud Mouth. Lei me describe an eve Ning at my Home on thanksgiving that led to three major fights. My Tiisler Zejda Sal Down atthe dinner table and suddenly screamed., of my god Jwa terrified thinking maybe she was having a heart attack. Everyone froze. Then Zelda announced i be just torn a Brand new pair of nylons on this Damn cheap chair of i said i m she shrieked la that All you have to say How about offering to buy me a new pair when i said i d be Happy to my sister Molly piped up you re a sucker. I la bet anything those nylons were torn when she came Over Here. Zelda i husband pointed his linger in Molly s fac and yelled Why Don t you shut your big Mouth then Molly s husband got up from Vitae table and hollered Don t you dare Lalk to my wife like my 73-year-old father banged on the table with his fists and ordered everybody to Calm Down you Are acting like 5-year-Olds," he shouted. That quieted the Bunch until the dessert was served. Then 8-year-old Manny my Nephew started to whine because his 9 year old Cousin Benny got a bigger piece of ignored him but Manny s Mother chimed in the kid is right. Benny s piece of pie is almost twice As big As Manny s. Why Don t we put the two piece together and Cut them evenly7" with that Benny s father said Manny is 20pounds overweight. He should t have any pie. When pie comes around that kid of Youn should Gorun around the Manny started to cry. Zelda his Mother walked Over to Benny s father popped him in the Mouth and yelled that s for being mean to my Sweet at that Point my Mother pulled Zelda to the sideband warned watch your temper or you la give your father a immediately after dinner my sister Ruthie announced in a Hult we Are what s wrong i asked. Manny and Benny Are talking dirty in front of Harriet. No 6-year-old should hear those Benny s father piped \ y with what s the big Deal every kid hears All those words by the time they Are 7 years old or they Aren t Normal Ruthie and her husband and Harriet left without saying goodbye. Zelda snarled if i never see them again it will be Loo mama gasped bite you Tongue. What a terrible thing of say about your own sister. Dear god what did i do wrong that i have raised three daughters who can t say a decent word teach other and their husbands Are no bargains either my husband had had it up to Here. He asked every body to leave saying he had never seen such a family in his entire life. Of course i had to Back him up but Felt sorry for my parents who just sat there looking sick. So Ann Landers we Are celebrating new year s inthe Bahamas. Do you blame us battling in Miami dear Bat no. Enjoy yourselves with the other runaways there Are bound to be thousand. Mad i Slih fill 10 writ id new America of and Law com Vigil Tantre Ramiy act dig flu Vian i on of to. Sim and Straus. Apo 09111, u.8. Fora Page it letters readers dismiss article on child rearing i was very distressed by the recent article in which a or. Barton Schmitt advocated letting babies cry tout and various other manipulative schemes As a cure Tor infant sleep problems. His approach to thu Complex aspect of parenting is dangerously simplistic and quite ignores the fact that the crying baby is a person who is trying to communicate his needs in the Only Way he knows How. Therein so much wrong with the article s advice that 1 hardly know where to begin so i will limit myself to just a few comments. New parents should be aware hat there arc other approaches to parenting that Are far More humane and emotionally healthy for everyone involved. An Excel Lent Book on the sleep topic is nighttime parenting by or. William Sears paediatrician and father of six. It is available from la leche league International 1209, Franklin Park 111, 60131-8209 for $6.96 plus 11.so shipping. You can better help your baby to sleep and get More sleep yourself by responding promptly to your baby s cries rather than ignoring them. Or. Scars attach ment parenting unlike or. Schmitt s restrained be Havion St approach increases the parents sensitivity to their individual baby s needs and teaches the child the Basic lesson of Trust i would also like to Point out that the article s advice on breastfeeding is to misleading that it would be surety cause breast feeding failure should an uninformed Mother try to apply it. Because breast milk is so quickly and easily digested breast fed babies need to nurse every two to three hours with perhaps one longer stretch at night instead of the four or More hours Between feedings recommended by or. Schmitt. If this frequency is not met the baby will be fussy with hunger be will Nat receive the nutrients he needs to grow Well and the Mother s milk Supply will become depressed. It is also important to remember that breast feeding is not just a feeding method but pro Vides a great Deal of emotional nourishment As Well and that cannot be doled out on a schedule. The need to be held talked to Given Eye Contact and to suck frequently Are Basic valid and indeed critical needs of an infant our number one priority As parents is to meet our children s needs As fully As Pecan. We must listen to what our babies Are saying when they cry and respond not according 10 some sex pens mechanistic prescription but from our hearts. For More information and support for breast feed ing and attachment parenting Contact your local la leche league group Check Lor dyers in your of or paediatric clinic or write the above address. Gillian Longley Kappaun As Germany babies Are not physically ready to sleep through Ihen ight until they do it on their own. Did mothers 200 or 2,000 years ago retrain their babies to sleep through the night no they nursed their babies throughout the night. No screams no cries and no nervousness after the baby weaned itself. The advice to Lei die baby cry to get the cure of a baby sleeping through the night is horrendous. Babies left to cry will be quiet after several nights. They give up Hope int their parents will Comfort them Ana they lose the feeling of Security that their parents love them. And pacifiers 1 would prefer o be my child s pacifier than some piece of plastic and rubber. I d rather they turn to me in limes of need or fear so that i May Comfort them. Sure i would like to sleep alone an uninterrupted sometimes. Bui who says parents us guaranteed a full night s sleep Barbara Lorn Frankfurt the major theme of this article Points put that babies and Young children arc an inconvenience to the adult lifestyle characterized by the constant reference o infant and child sleep problems i agree that in Fant and child sleep patterns Are inconvenient for the first few years but then so is pregnancy. Indeed living with a mate is often inconvenient but the results of marriage love emotional Security companionship make coping with a inconvenience worthwhile. An infant s body maintains an incredible Rale of growth during its first year of life. Us weight approximately triples and its brain increases to two thirds orits adult size. This tremendous growth must be sup ported by almost continual nourishment. The average breast fed baby needs to nurse every two to three hour around the clock. Studies have shown thai feeding schedules or a Lack of schedules do not Lessen a baby frequency of night waking. Parents should be encouraged to adopt whatever sleeping arrangements Are most comfortable for them selves and their baby. In other words whatever sleep ing arrangement provides the Best Opportunity for sleep. Some families find this to be co family sleep or shared sleep with the baby deeping in the parental bed. This is the Norm in the majority of non Western cultures. In fact it is Only in this Century that our society has adopted solitary sleeping arrangements. To greatly disturbed that this article encourage parents to Lei their babies cry especially for prolonged periods without responding. Since crying is a baby Sonly Means of communication Why assume Ihil is a negative behaviour to be extinguished not responding to a baby s cry does not learn her to Steep instead it teaches a baby that she cannot inst her own ability a communicate and eventually results in a loss of Trust in the caregiver. Children need to be loved cared for nurtured and have their needs met when they come into this world so that they will grow up with a healthy self concept Able to Trust love and develop relationships. Circus animals Are trained Pels Are trained but Chil Dren Are to be paroled. I would like to leave you with this thought from Elizabeth Barrett Browning the child s sob in the silence curses deeper than the Strong Man in his Rhein min a Germany hats off to dodds1 for sat class credits hats off to Dodds for giving credit to students taking a course on the sat Standard achievement test. 1 attended a prep school with the Cito we teach students How to study but we never got credit for the course. Learning How to study and How to understand and take exams is every bit As important As the res of the curriculum in High school. Dodds deserves to be complimented for providing this incentive tits students who will certainly reap the Reward in the future. Robert a flare Frankfurt col Jepthe ii Cook. your h Cim a tool Suzanne a Phillips. Usa Deputy Corrnia Dar editor i Crim Marie Kominicki Diane a Kcf Jermott production Mara Row managing Ednor circulator manager Twa Row no or m in Aughe rigid unofficial Putte Allwin Lor Monitor or via military Tofa Razaa. 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