European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - January 23, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Magazine the dating game for Many teens it s depressing by Elizabeth Kolbert naw York times rom a distance it looks As simple As Bay meets girl Bui what is not to simple according to the girls is meeting a boy at least one who is handsome funny reliable not a nerd or a wimp and Iree on Friday night. There s really no one in our school logo out with said Jennifer Gautier a 16-year-old Sophomore at Harrison High school expressing a View he a widely among the school s 450 girls it s so depressing said Jennifer Apfelbaum 15, also a Sophomore at the school in Harrison a wealthy wast Choster county Community in Mew York. I Don l know Why i get dressed in the  dating which every Seh respecting adolescent knows to refer to As going out today remains the same exquisitely painful preoccupation hat it was when Gledge was growing up and Saddle shoes were the style. Ii the 1960s Are supposed to have brought liberation trom restrictive roles and sex based stereotypes today s suburban teen agers apparently Are the last to know teacher and parents of Harrison High students say that while teen age girls made tentative moves toward Mars assertiveness in the 1960s and 70s, today s students Are More inclined to adopt traditional roles. They re really not aware that women s liberation has happened said Carol Spede Jare whose daughter Liza is a Sophomore. For girls going Cut is still a matter of being asked rather than asking. I could never Ever Ash a Guy out Sard Gau flt. T is also a matter of letting the right people know your answer in Advance. You  said Gina Ferraro 16, a Junior. You drop major hints " for boys it is still a matter of standing firm in the a t first you re just together then you end up going  face of possible rejection and Ulter humiliation la s Tough said tag Garson. 16. A Junior. A lot of time you know the answer is going to be no and you just Don t  an int Effigene Guy f e said knows How to discern the negative even in what might sound Liko a positive response such As i have to ask my  or i d love to but. As soon As you hear that bul you know you re  love May be Blind but teen agers. To appears arc not. An informal poll taken in the Harrison High lunchroom indicated that most affairs of the heart Are governed by the Retina a Tot of it fats to do Vilh  Garson said but brains also play a part i have to admit i would never want logo out with someone smarter than me said Spencer Levy 56, a Junior. I like looks said apr Baum and Hal they Don t ignore you when they re with their friends " to a teen Ager who can fully assess a person s character on the basis of whether Fie wears a to shirt of a Turtleneck a certain kind of subtlety becomes second nature. Thus tha simple phrase going  uttered with the same inflection in virtually the same sentence As in we re going Oul May mean two entirely different things. Many parents find the distinction beyond their grasp. To an adolescent it is fairly obvious. On the one hand going out May mean taking in a movie or getting a bile to eat bul implies no Long term Cuti Gabion. Going oui on the Solhei hand implies a major commitment of a week o More. Sar Tortolani a 15-year-old Sophomore tried to clarify the distinction at first you re just together then you end up going  some boys apparently too shy to address the subject Ruji really May resort to circumlocution. They say i Hope i m the Only boy in your me. Because you re the Only girl m mine said Apfelbaum. They say queer things like  exchanging bits of personal property can also help solidify a relationship these Range from the traditional football Lei Lor jackets o the More functional identification cards to he Avant Garde where a boy with a pierced ear May give a girl one of his earrings. Just what a couple does once they Are going out appeals to be essentially irrelevant things Hal when you re wih your friends Are so Boring when you re with a Guy Are so much  said to Lotani. Politically Correct or not boys at Harrison and other Wesl Chesler High schools Are Titi expected to pick up the Tab Lor a Burger or a movie. Girls help out though. You get the cheapest thing on the menu sail Apfelbaum you eat before you go said Tortolani. Often breaking up is As important and May take almost As Long As going out. You try o bread up first Levy said i looks belief me said he broke up win his last Girlfriend because she kept trying to have serious conversations " recently Liza spedaliere s Boyfriend ended if Seir relationship which lasted seven Days. He did t even Tell me he broke up with me she said he had his Little sister do it " sometimes Ifie situation with a Blank look spelling disaster and a Friendly word meaning rapture is enough to drive a girl to renounce Romance. Guys Are not ready Lor whal we think we re ready for so everything s realty messed up said Apfelbaum it can t be Worth  then reconsidering it s Worth  Friday january 23, 1987 the stalls and stripes Page 13