European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - February 5, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse Columns Why Don t they just say what they mean by John Windrow Magazine editor years ago when i was a Young and innocent boy my Mother would Siil Alf la the wednesday morning musical society. It Mot without fail every thursday. I did t know in at the Lime but i was witness to Doublespeak in action. Doublespeak occurs when someone says one thing a my Means Enol her or Means nothing it All. In this false and nefarious age. Doublespeak ii in full lower. Everyone who has a fondness for language can cite his favorite examples. Nixon s White House press spokesman saying a statement is inoperative meaning it was untrue or Limmy Carter calling the botched Mission to Rescue the hostage in Iran an incomplete i once saw a Dallas newspaper print the headline appeals court Jurige nixes race mix halt try. It mean a judge had turned town an to Stop an integration plan in a Dallas school. But my All Lime favorite was the Pentagon calling the invasion of Grenada a pre Dawn vertical thai sounds like something that would have been banned in Boston 20 years ago. Recently a colleague handed me a copy of the quarterly review of Doublespeak. The review is edited by William Luu who works at the English department at Rutgers University anyone who needs a Good Yuk should subscribe. A few examples a ramada inn in Boston crows Over having guest rooms that boast euro Bath body cleaning bathtubs. The Milwaukee Roumal printed a photograph of some unfortunate Man sleeping in a doorway in the bowery in new York. The outline identified him As a non goal oriented member of i m very Happy to have latched onto this one. My High school graduation class will have its 20th reunion i his year. Now we know h new to describe the majority of ourselves. Trans Florida airlines hands out emergency instructions that say in Case of non routine operation we would like you to be familiar Wilh the location of air plane i have a feeling i know what non routine operation Means and i Don t like it. A spokesman for the greeting card Industry described a new line of products As the emotionally expressive component of the non occasion card such cards say things like As i get older i truly appreciate the depth of your commitment to me which Means i m glad you still love sometimes it s not just Doublespeak in action it s doublethink. I used to work at a Texas newspaper hat ran a Small House and telling the Reader what number to Call if he did t receive his paper. I would sit and wonder How the Reader could know what number to Call if he did t get the paper when the number was in the paper he did t have. The review had another example a company that markets a Candy bar called 5th Avenue has a guarantee of satisfaction instructing dissatisfied Consumers to mall in the remainder of any Candy bar that did t taste Good. Then the company mails them another Candy bar. Keep eating them until they taste Good kid. One Reader sent the review a Page from a Catalon of sex products that advertised spurious nymphos desire i Don t know what this is but i want in. There s More Erich Honecker the Leader of East Germany railed the Berlin Wall the anti fascist protective a revised japanese schoolbook referred to the sacking of Nanjing China in world War ii As the so called Nanjing massacre upgrading the killing of hundreds of thousands of people from the so colled Nanjing so called incident is pretty Wishy Washy. The russian ambassador to Libya said of the chernobyl nuclear disaster we can say that this is a Norma a cadent and there is nothing abnormal the National motto of South Africa a country dedicated to keeping people apart is Unity i Al the expo b6 fair in Vancouver Canada the Public toilets were called guest relations an advertisement in the United states called a lady s Girdle a i assume padded brassieres would be Here s the Champ a cop in Detroit used this verbiage to describe two cars running Inlo each other at an intersection. Two cars were approaching an intersection. Car a a yellow Light accelerator introduced itself to a Green Light Anticipatory language is Only As Deal As Slick and As witty As the people who put it to use. All of these people could have taken lessons from the ship Captain who was told to write an evaluation of each of the officers in his wardroom. Each evaluation ims instruction said should be kept to one sentence. Of one particularly Lusty fellow the Cap Tam wrote this officer uses my ship to travel from one Brothel to editor s note the quarterly review of Doublespeak costs is a year. Write to National Council of teachers of English Jim kenyan boar of Urbana ill., 6i80l proper etiquette during supermarket collisions by miss manners United future Syndicate dear miss manners in he grocery store today i was hit on the Backol my ankle by a shopping Carl. The Pusher of the cart said i m because of the Tang of the bump i was unable to nuke any reply but i took two item and pushed1 my cart put of the Way. The woman took my silence As an Intuit and further toted to the went by i mid i a Tony with an air of Dit Giat i wanted to much to make venomous reply but remained silent. Sometimes laying you re sorry does t nuke everything right again especially when it it talk Wilh t udi Lack of concern i ended up reefing that it wat my fault for being to unlucky Ailo be in front of this Penon f cart. She should have been watching what she Wai doing in the lint place. Ai i think of this incident and of Here i wonder Why t bother to teach my own children manner and Courtesy. The formula for Tuccel Shete Day Iceni to be me i Hale the thought of teaching my children Courtesy so they can be abused by no clan boors is this going to get to the paint of people committing Gross injustices 0 others drunk driven do and then saying i m lorry and walking away Wilh Clear consciences today s incident was trivial but it ii the culmination of Small incidents and abuses and i m getting ready to turn around and spit at the next inconsiderate person i meet. It s getting horrendous Centre Reader Well that would certainly help the cause of manners would t in no apologising Runny not be enough but not apologizing in t the answer either. We need More politeness not less yes one should watch where one u going. But if an Accident does occur one should first apologize. The etiquette failure in the instance you describe was the failure to continue by stopping and saying compassionately Are you Hurt and offering to help. You May Point this out to the extent of saying when you Are Able i m sorry i could l talk you knocked the wind out of you May not do it by spitting in people s eyes and instructing your children to grow up to be what you Call no class Boon themselves. Dear miss manners please Tell me if we were right to be Hurt and angry Over this situation. My a arrived at our House at 7 . On saturday had breakfast with i and went out with my husband in our truck to pick up a crib for our new granddaughter. They resumed at 11 15. My sort left the crib Here and went to get his wife out of the Hospital checking out at noon. He Laid he would Call i at Toon As he got her Back Home to we could take the crib to their House and fee the new baby. We wailed until 3 and there Wai no phone Call of we took the crib to their House and found out the had hopped at her Mother s House Utt a few blocks away from then and that s where they Gilill were. It s her Mother 10th grandchild and we had t even seen the baby up dote at the Hospital we feel it was really bad manners to tet us sit and Wail while the made litre her Mother Taw the baby and angry words were exchanged. What do you think and what do we do now with both tides angry gentle Reader miss manners is no sure what the equivalent of sibling rivalry is when practice by grandparents but she suggests that you Stop in right now. Yes your son should have called you and you could certainly reprimand him for keeping you Walling. But you have confused the Issue Wilh your child sol remarks about the other grandparents As if it were bad manners for a new Mother logo to her own Mother and As if the pleasures of grand parenthood arose from Novelty so that one could hardly expect people to be interested in their loth grandchild. The Way to Clear the air is to apologize and to demonstrate that you Are willing to play grandparent in a grown up fashion. Dear miss manners my husband and i celebrated our Fin Anniv Crary More than a month ago. Ai i understand it wedding guests have a year in which to give a couple a wedding present. While i am not greedily gathering Gifu i do believe a thoughtful gift symbolize respect for the marriage. How do i respond then when our very closed mend whom we tee two to three time week has let the entire year go by without giving us a wedding gift gentle Reader Lucky you. Most brides keep whining about what a dreadful duty in is to have to write thank you letters and it u your Only duty Heru lore rain from writing a thank you it tier. Of course if you tally wanted to be polite you would have refrained from noticing. Urpin i Fuir february 5, t9h7
