European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - March 10, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse                                A pm my or Tram Prol ecu children goal not tax Ute abuse Gbo  n Portaltin lancet dealing with sexual abuse by Jane e. Brody new York Twimasi t was t easy or the 6-year-old boy to Lell his Mother thai her Stepbrother was abusing him physically and sexually ii was even harder when she responded by telling him to Stop telling lies. Only when the boy eventually told a teacher who intervened did the Mother Lake her son seriously and Force the Stepbrother to move out. Anil year old girl burst into tears during a him on problem touching and ran from the room. She tote confided to an instructor that her two Brothers had been abusing her sexually Lor Lour years but she had been aft Aid to Tell anyone about it. These and Many other instances of the sexual abuse of children have came o Light recently through a comprehensive program developed by lha girls club of Omaha and now being disseminated under a Federal Grant to youth organizations nationwide. The goal of the program called kid ability is to protect boys and girls against such abuse and give them the support they need to report All instances. Through the program children learn How to spot potential trouble How to act assertively to Rebuff it and what to do if it occurs. Kid ability also seeks to help parents do a Batter Jab of preventing recognizing and coping with abuse. The need for such programs is evident from the findings of a detailed 1981 study of 521 parents led by or. David Finkelhor director of the family violence research program at the University of new Hampshire. The study revealed the following although almost All parents caution their children against potential kidnapping an extremely rare event Page 16 the stars and stripes and warn Tham to be wary of strangers very few give similar advice about the much More Likely possibility of sexual abuse and especially that the offender might be someone they know. Parents find it easier to talk about such subjects As death pregnancy and birth homosexuality sexual Intercourse suicide and abortion than about sexual abuse. Many h not most parents believe their children face Little danger of being abused that they Are too Young to be told of the possibility and that discussions or the subject will frighten the children unnecessarily. The facts belie such parental attitudes and beliefs. An estimated one in four Girts andal least one in seven boys is sexually abused one or More times before age 18. In finkelhor1 research 39 percent of children who told of abuse were boys. Sexual abuse can Start when children Are As Young As 2 months old. With the most vulnerable years Between 6 and 8. Yet parents in the study picked 9 As the Best age to talk about sexual abuse those who had 9-year-Olds picked age 10 those with 10-year-Olds picked 11 and so Forth. Experts agree that the sexual abuse of children occurs in All Hinds of families Urban suburban and Rural Rich and poor professional and Blue Collar married and divorced Well educated and poorly educated. Furthermore 75 to 65 percent of the cases involve a relative or someone the child knows and often trusts. And children Are much less Likely to report sexual abuse when the offender is known. Even when they do report it. Chances Are they won t be believed at least not at first. And even when no doubts Are raised Finkelhor found most parents do not report the abuse to any authority or Agency capable of helping the child understand what happened and copa tuesday. March 10,1987 with lha inevitable emotional scars. Finkelhor and the girls clubs of America say thai children s Lack of knowledge and uncertainty about behaviour of Len Lead to their victimization. Children Ollen believe offenders who Tell them the sexual activity is a right. They also tend to be thrown off guard by an adult s unexpected behaviour they Don t realize they should refuse Suwal advances. An in depth study among 20 abused girls by Jane f. Gilgun Al the University of Minnesota found Hal some believed the abuse was their own fault even it they were threatened or beaten into submission. The girls also believed hey had to obey the requests of adults and that disclosing the abuse would get them into trouble. In some cases the Chi Loven had no idea what was happening. As one 12-year-old said. I never heard of any of the things he  Evan Parentt who Are uncomfortable talking about sax can protect shaif children. Though it is not necessary to give explicit sexual details it is important to make Clear what kind of abuse you re talking about. The kid ability self Protection program suggests the following distinguish Between affectionate touching and problem touching. An affectionate hug or touch should create a warm Good feeling and never has to be kept secret or hidden. Problem touches include anything that makes he child feel bad confused embarrassed guilty or afraid As Well As any touch forced on the child or involving body parts normally covered by a bathing suit. Teach children How to recognize and Cope with unsafe situations. Help them understand the difference Between a gift unconditional and a bribe it always has a Price distinguish Between a Surprise a temporary secret and a secret to be kept permanently. Tell them it s never All right to keep secrets about touching. Teach them what to say and do if they Are Home atone and the Doorbell or Telephone rings. Through play acting help children practice acting assertively to put a Nutak Stop to unwanted overtures  Slop  i Don t like  Don t touch me like  that Hurta i want you to  teach them to walk away quickly then and if possible logo directly Home. Help children identify people they can ask for help and to learn How to ask so they won t be ignored. Lisl the names of adults that children feel they can talk o. Have them practice reporting a problem in an assertive Way such As can you help me with a problem someone is touching me on the private parts o my body and i Don l like  teach them Loo. Hal if the first adult they tall does t believe them or does nothing about it hey must keep asking others for help until someone even when children Don t Tell of abuse changes in behaviour often indicate something is wrong sexually abused children May become very depressed regress to infantile behaviour such As thumb sucking or bed Welling or become belligerent and aggressive. When the offender is someone who is trusted or idolized the child May lose Faith in everyone. According to Maggie Cluna an Marsha Helman directors of the sexual abuse and incest consultation project at the University of Medicine and dentistry of new Jersey other signs of abuse include these sexual behaviour or knowledge inappropriate to the child s age fear of a particular adult or place fear of separation withdrawal or dinging mood changes nightmares or difficulty sleeping physical complaints such As stomachaches headaches or rashes or pain in the genital area. How you respond when a child tells of sexual abuse May be critical. The Kkt Amity program suggests tar you try not to act too shocked. Tell the child you believe him or her say the child is not to blame for what happened and offer the child Praise for telling you about it. Say also that you will try to get help by telling someone about it who knows what to do. Then report the suspected molestation to the local child Protection service or Law enforcement Agency. To minimize emotional harm Lolohe Chiky. Look for a Public or private Agency experienced in this problem. Where the child can go for counselling. You can talk with either a local Agency that offers child protective services or your health department or department of social services. You might also want to consult a child psychologist or psychiatrist experienced in dealing with the sexual abuse of children