European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - April 23, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns weird things happen flying Southern Fried by John Windrow Magazine editor things always happen to me in airports once when i had written Whai \ considered the croat american Hovel f in the Only copy in the Delta airlines terminal at the St. Louis Erport i did t realize what i d done until i got to Memphis. The Airport people were Nice enough to find 11 and Fly it Down for me. There probably Aren t Loo Many people who be dime that. Another Lime i was seated Between a drunk texan in a polyester Leisure suit who claimed to be lbs s brother in Law and a hysterical woman from Nigeria who kept climbing Over me to get to the Lisle because she thought the plane had Tost a Wing since she could t see it from her window seat. The last time i flew Back to Germany i left my passport in my Luggage checked ii aboard the flight and had to have the people at the ticket counter gel it Back off the plane so i could gel through customs in Atlanta. Then i left a novel i had brought along for the flight at the ticket counter. Halfway to the Metal Detector the authoritative voice on the Loudspeaker said will the brainless Moron who left his Book Al the ticket counter please come pick a up so Back i went grinning like fool. The same Guy who had to gel my bags off the flight handed the Book to me with a wry smile. It s Gate a he said slowly. Gate 44. It s past the Security Check to the right. Odd numbers to the left even numbers to the right. Don t go  he gave me a searching look to see ii any of this was sinking in. Gate 44," he said patiently is Between 42 and 46, to the right after the Security Check. Understand i nodded clutching my Book. As i headed for Security 13 airline people rushed into the lobby behind me Yelling Gale 44 to the right even numbers to the right " my dear aunt Lorelta had brought me to the Airport. When the Man at Security took her purse. She Lei out a lit tie gasp of my god she whispered to me your Uncle Clarence gave me one of his pistols to drop off at the Gunsmith s while i was in the City. I can t remember if it s in my purse or the Glove compartment in the  we had a sweaty few moments while that purse crawled through the a Ray machine believe me. The pistol was Back in the car. We went trembling away and turned left As the 13 airline people screamed in frustration to the Rigoll Gate 44 is to the right i relate this Only to help you realize what a fool my pal frenchy the wire editor was to ask me to take him to the Frankfurt Airport to catch his flight to new Orleans last saturday frenchy had l been Back to Al Uichi you for Mil making an Issue of it. He via question on etiquette a nth to miss mimes in can of the  my stripes. Apo 09211, four question will be  in her Mia manners regrets Lull the coh Only Anster quintans in tier column.  split 23,1987