European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - June 4, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns Pogo and predestination were better by far by John Windrow Magazine editor when i was a Little boy my old Man used to sit with me on the Couch Ami read me the funny papers before we went to Church. It was a great arrangement because my family is presbyterian and one needed a Tittle levity before marching off to Stem calvinistic theology and Mournful hymns. Presbyterians Are Good folks but i he music is torment Pogo and predestination those were my Early philosophical influences. Tragically enough Pogo is Long gone. Bui the other comics i remember Are still with us. I looked through the funnies last week and realized How incredibly slowly they Progress. Charlie Brown was still trying to get his Kite Down from the tree. Dagwood Ever Lardy to work avoided tunning into the mailman thus reversing a Gathil ims been acted out for decades. Not a very funny gag either Andy Capp broods afresh Over his never ending hatred for his Mother in Law Rock Morgan the eternal do gooder does More goad. Dennis the menace carries out his Border War with or. Wilson. Sol. Snorkel has a woman sergeant to fight with taking Tome of the heat off Beetle Bailey. But still nothing happens at Camp swampy there is an exception. Steven Canyon manages to get Kinkler and Kinkler. Steve remains a colonel and Small wonder considering the amount of time he spends dreaming. He and his wife. Summer have lie amazing ability to dream simultaneously dreaming the same dream and dreaming each other in and out of the script. They do this for Days weeks months at a Lime. I realize Steve work hard when he works but boy Howdy does he make up for it when he relaxes. Not Only that Steve is forever going to his Boss and begging for special time off to take cafe of personal problems. I think we can safely assume he will never make general. Steve started off pretty straight a Blond Blue eyed world War ii Pilot. After the War he began battling evil Kab agents and foreign stooges of the worldwide communist menace. I m All for that. But Ihen he began getting Kinky in his Middle age. Sieve kept managing to fall into the Dutches of Strong willed dominating women who humiliated and abused him. The last time i saw Steve being led across the desert with his hands tied behind him by an evil woman on horseback who beat him with her whip i decided that he was starting to like it. These things often occur in his dreams and we know that one s dream life is significant doubly so for Steve who literally is sleeping his life away. I thought the All Lime Champion Kink episode was when a Young woman in the strip was tortured week after week having her Teeth pulled one by one. After that her Tormentor a sexy woman As i recall put a sack of spiders Over the girl s head. This is it i thought Steve has reached the limit of sadomasochism retreated and pulled in his horns. But no. He s at it again. Steve has asked for More tune off at cast he s awake so this episode May not take As Long in his maddeningly slow plodding Way he i off to the kingdom of Zabbia where summer s son Leighlon Olsen languishes in prison. Predictably it s taken Days and Days for Steve to get briefed say goodbye and get on the Darf blamed plane the Way dings move in comic strip land i assume the flight to Zabbia will take Mote than a week gentle readers if i m Ever held against my will in some faraway place Send the marines Send the Nebraska football team Send the people who promote Federal women s. Week but please Don t Send Steve Canyon. I la rot before he gels there ii is also intriguing thai nearly All the bad people in the comics to be Days Are arabs. I be pointed this out to Abdul my moroccan bartender. It s because you Ain l afraid of the indians no More he said. Yinat s True. When i was a lad Many of the bad people were indians. No More. But i digress. As if the poor Young Olsin did t have enough problems the Prince of Zabbia is a Gay Blade who stocks i Cabinet with Blond Young foreigners. He has a preference for nordics and fair american. Summer s son has been spared a Fate worse than death Onty because he Prince has been away in Paris and it takes him As Long loge from Point a la Point b As it takes Sieve. But at this column went to press the Prince had returned and picked Olsen As the next unlucky Secretary of Urban affairs or whatever from his Well locked Dungeon. There s plenty of big Guys in turbans with Long wicked swords hanging around so escape appears impossible. Will Sieve gel there in time will summer dream them All out of this mess or at least loan Olsen some decent clothes will the whip wielding bad lady show up and beat them All into joyous submission the suspense is unbearable. Unless the Gay Community the arabs and the horse whip Industry Rise up in protest this could go on until the leaves Start to change colors. Olsen was about to be bathed and spruced up for the Render our. I can hardly wait. The Bubble Bath scene will probably last a fortnight. Mss manners horrified by blatant request for gifts by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear miss manners a Friend of mine invited me to a Pintler party Complete with suggested gift ideas t taling thai considering her patience and generosity in having attended and or participated in All your wedding she run decided thai the � her Chance to get Evenll bring presents i had mined reactions. Although i did bring a Tacky birthday girl a the invitation suggested for those still Tingle the spinster called to assure me that he a registered at the Best Fiorei. Gentle Reader miss manners was not aware that people got married for the purpose of extracting household artefacts from their friends. Of yes she was How could she help but be with the mail she gets but she is trying to Rise above it. The concept of getting even for having Given presents to friends out of a desire to symbolize the pleasure one lakes in their weddings does not strike miss manners As terribly amusing. However if it passes for wit in your circles she has no objections provided it is treated As a joke. But a request for serious presents is not funny. If your Friend wants seriously to Mark the establishment of her household she should give a housewarming party. Dear miss manners at the Home of a Friend who entertained a urge number of guess the question Artic As to who should answer a Doorbell when the Host or hostess it occupied and no one tote hat been designated to handle that Luik. The ringing Doorbell caused Many of us to eel uncomfortable yet we fell it was rude to answer it without permission. Gentle Reader Host Anil hostesses Are not supposed to be Loo occupied to Greet each of their guests at the door unless they have a servant to admit people and therefore do their greeting in the drawing room. The situation you describe is therefore a breakdown in proper procedure. When something like that happens guests Pilch in As Best they can. Miss manners is shocked that politeness should suggest to you trial it is better to leave people standing outside in the cold than to open the door and say i Don t think the Higginss heard the Bell they re right Over  dear miss manners f am a rancher in South teas. Despite the climate some out teens still appear in Public in � Coal and lie or the equivalent As our ancestors did however expensive or worn the clothing May have been. Why the bigotry Agail people like it nowadays Hoits insist on taking your Coats and ties even other guests nag it seems the Only Way to keep on i clothing it to claim thai one has spilled food on his shirt and needs the coat to cover it. No one feel threatened around a Slob with a dirty shirt. Are All american so insecure nowadays Centie Reader let us rather say naive. People who refuse to acknowledge the symbolic value of clothing professing a belief in individual Freedom of Choice always seem to try o tyrannize those of us whose choices arc different from theirs. In the name of Comfort they harass people who Are most comfortable when dressed As grown ups. Such clothing displays a suitability to people who wish to be taken seriously rather than be mistaken for children at play in their play clothes. Miss manners urges you not to give in to this silly peer pressure even to the extend of making any excuse. A firm thank you but i prefer to keep my jacket is enough. Dear miss manners after a funeral Utrice i attended people topped for a few words with members of the family. Just ahead of me a lady offered her condolences to the widow and at the tame time leaned toward her. The utter who was a Newhal formidable in a Contr accepted the other woman s hand but Drew Back from the intended loss on the Cheek. The first lady must hive been Hurt and embarrassed by the action. How Doet one know in any such situation if the get Lur it expected or if it would be unwelcome i cant help thinking that the constant emotional embracing thai seems to be considered such a Nece sury part of any to drama in t really representative of general custom. Centie Reader heaven help the people who like their manner from television. Not Only is it unreasonable to expect performers to be paragons of proper behaviour but there would t be much drama Worth watching if they were. Vou must therefore go instead with your manners problems to miss manners. And so you did. Why then does t she get on with answering you question the answer is that Only in certain very limited circles does the Cheek kiss serve the purpose that the warm handshake serves for the rest of us sensible people. Unless you Are in one of those circles you must judge whether you Are on sufficient terms of intimacy Wilh someone to make such a kiss Welcome rather than intrusive. What comes across As phony Over familiarity can be As chilling As too Little warmth. Irr pm Magazine Junt 4,1987