European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - June 15, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 10 the stars and stripes monday june 15.19b7 columns Ellen Goodman Che Chez la Birbo becomes Media rallying cry it is 1988 and suddenly the Media arc facing a critical shortage. Not a Short age of Ink or videotape. It is far More serious than that. We have run Oul of bimbos. Wha Nodo a Hausdo the last 11 months 1987, were after All. The year of the Bimbo. A bumper crap of gals with Short names and Long hair dominated the covers and cover Sto Ries. The pal scandal had Jessica harm. The Iran Centra mess hoi Fawn Han debacle had Donna Rice. And the Best seller list had Vanna while. Even the most conservative newspapers found a news Hook on which to Dis play some skin. It was a Field Day an entire Field year for photographers. The lifestyle sections developed a new speciality the Bimbo beat. The watchword for investigative teams All Over the nation was Che Chez la Bimbo. We in the Media also believed that we were serving a larger social Good. In Post feminist America what new opportunities were there for women had t we blazed a route to the lop of the news Here at last was a position for which no woman in the country was overqualified. Were you a Phi Beta Kappa not to worry. Sit on he Lap of a presidential candidate and you could be a Bimini Bimbo. Were you a second generation career Secretary in the National Security Council take dictation from Ollie North and Bingo a Bimbo even a Kab spy could make it in the amerikan press As Long As she was Birbo sized. By june when Vanna White s autobiography was on the Best seller list Bim bos had become major role models for Young girls everywhere. Girls who once might have harboured dreams of becom ing an astronaut or candidate for vice president began to look beyond these limited horizons. Suddenly every girl wanted to grow up to be a professional letter Turner tens of thousands of americans bought Vanna Speaks seeking inspiration find the wheel of Fortune Lelier William f. Buckley 100mwu1hhone to Peak go Mir Towl Urci Nowfe it my. Namre who found her Way to "60 minutes and people they memorize the secrets of her Success my Beauty philosophy is to do a Little something for yourself every single Day. Again this Means getting into Good habits Tike push ing Back All your cuticles fingers and toes in the Shower each they Learned that Vanna s Road to Fame was not just perfect attendance in grammar school or washing her Clothespin cold water but actual Talent i was chosen because Merv thought i turned the letters better than anyone if Only we had been paying attention we would have noticed that sometime in he late filtering summer months there were the first intimations of a Bimbo shortage. The Bimbo turned out to be a perishable commodity Wilh a Brief shelf life. The Media kept needing new ones. At first we tried expanding the Pool of potential candidates. An article appear Din Glamour asking the question can you be a Bimbo Over 40? is Magazine chinned in Wilh a thin piece entitled the matriarchal roots of Bimbo Hood by thanksgiving there was a spate of articles by academic re searchers about the dilemmas of professional bimbos facing the biological clock. The cover in Newsweek read Bimbo or Bambino choices women fac today despite All our recruiting it urns Oul that there were Only so Many women who could take themselves frivolously for so Long. The sheer discipline it required to have absolutely no thoughts in your head was finally daunting. How Many could push their cuticles Bac Kevery single morning fingers and toes including sundays around Christmas there were report in variety of Bimbo Biz bombing now the very same Media moguls who found the Bimbo such a Handy Way to meet their female quota have decided to meet together in urgent sessions to Deal with the shortage what to do what Todo will the Media have to gasp take women seriously Cwi Pope should encourage revival of latin Liturgy the Pope whose june visit to Poland occupied so much attention is less conspicuously in the news in respect of his forthcoming visit to America in septem Ber. But there is much freight in thai visit and not Only american catholics but observer of trends a the largest Christian communion in the world Are intensely curious about what will happen during that trip which will begin in Miami and terminate in Detroit the reason for it is thai Pope John Paul ii univer Sally admired As an individual is deeply controversial. During his papacy he has been Adamant on a few mat ters thai Nave to do with the general understanding of what is needed in order to Advance the goals of ecu me Nicis. He is at a moral dogmatic level unpopular with Many catholics and most non catholics on the usual questions ought the Church quietly to reverse itself on the question of contraceptives perhaps the principal division Between Catholic practice and papal exhortation ? ought the Church to admit women to the Priesthood second Point ? those Are the major items confronting the Progress Kivist Agenda awaiting the Pope in september. A Little notice should be Given to Liose catholics who Are not few in number bul whose complaints lend to be soft spoken who feel that the Catholic tradition on these controversial questions ought t 10 be altered by enthusiasms thai May prove to have been merely trendy. And herewith a word or two about one apparently insignificant item which however looms Large in the enthusiasm of Many catholics and not a few protes Tants who have for centuries been fellow travellers of the Long standing Catholic tradition of using latin inthe sunday Liturgy. The question is of trans denomination interest be cause the use of latin in the Liturgy Over the years was not Only a special identifying signal of the Catholic Church. It was also in a curious but not entirely sur prising Way something of a Bureau of weights an measures for the entire Christian Community. Here is a not at All dirty Little secret about Catholic orthodoxy namely that dogmatic constancy by the Catholic Church is something thai though not emulated by Many christians has been secretly admired by Man of them even As the easygoing and pleasantly bib Ulous family admires aunt Bessie the Teet Taler and is Horri fied to find her one saturday night at dinner ordering a stinger after dessert. The obsession Wilh ecumenism led Many Cash Otic Bishops to go much further with Vatican ii of the 1960s than was Ever intended by its architects. The principal evidence of this has been the death of the latin mass. Suddenly it ceased to exist notwithstanding that the relevant document in the 1963 Constitution on the Liturgy of Vatican ii reads Sec. 36particular Law remaining a Force the use of the Lalin language is to be preserved in the latin rites one or two recent polls by Gallup 1984 by Hoge Ela. Sociology department Catholic University 1985 reveal that one half of America s 52 million catholics want the Opportunity to attend a latin mass conveniently on sundays. They feel on deep questioning that a steady diet of vernacular masses leads to a loss of the Ilu pres sense of the Sublime of the mysterious and supernal Al leading to a diminution of the sense of the in once of god who is Well different from the rolling stones. Beautiful prayers can be and Are written in the idiomatic Mode but there is a craving by Many for the kind of remove that made the King James English translation Why stand est thou afar off o lord Why hides thou thyself in times of trouble poetically resonant in a Way that come on into my tent. Big daddy of cod is not Corpus Christi custodial an Imam Tuam Means May the body of the lord look after your bul said in the first Way there is spiritual foreplay that does t always stimulate said in the vernacular. An encouragement by the Pope of a modest opening Back to the latin would be a Symbol of his recognition of the existence of a Large body of the faithful whose flagship is a proud Little organization Lalin Liturgy association . Box 80426, Baton Rouge la. 70898. The Public misapprehension is Hal big Deal questions addressed by big Deal Kings presidents prime ministers and Popes treat Only cold wars nuclear bombs starvation pestilence and sex. But the Pope knows Hal we do not live by bread alone and there Are those who Hope that having cast bread Olinto the Waters their hunger will be mitigated so look for a sign of life in september not Only from the theological trendiest but from those who seek to Rise from the catacombs. C i venal piss
