European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - June 25, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns catching up on Reading in the supermarket by John Windrow Mif Rizir editor i Antsy pal frenchy has returned from his Triumph Lour of the Stales and he s raising havoc on the news desk. Whenever frenchy hits his old stomping grounds Back in South Louisiana he overdoses on Fried food spices and newspaper tabloids. 1 think he May also have a few Beers. Frenchy works the Cable for us. Reading the supermarket papers for a few weeks jaundice his news judgment. I was sitting out on the desk with him just  morning frenchy was arguing with the news editor waving a supermarket i Bloid that he d brought Back from new Orleans. Look at this he said a front Page spread and you Guys never even had it in he paper. I leave on vacation and this place goes duller than Ditc water every  which Story i said " How Loni Anderson s spiritual Powers helped to make her a top Star i though we ran that in faces n  no not that one frenchy said scornfully the hard news Story across the top above the  the views editor Slid his glasses Back up Hij nose with his Index Finger arid got the Blue headline into focus. " mom dyes twins red and Green he read a oud " so she can Tell hem apart "11 was Alt Over the tabloids in the states frenchy said earnestly and you Guys did t even run it not even a  we can run the follow up Story when hey grow up and get married i said trying to console him. You know something borrowed something Blue for red and Green girls if Wear off by then frenchy said. The Mother Only used food  where did this happen the news editor asked. Frenchy pored Over the Story listen to this outline frustrated mom Maria Orte dyed twin daughters Lucia and Rosa left shown before they became red and Green girls in a desperate bid to Tell them apart i just love outlines with desperate bid in them frenchy Sard. Yeah great Cut the news editor said but where did it happen Medellin Colombia frenchy said. You know we Don t have much circulation Down Here i said. If Princess i went there we d run it frenchy said bitterly frenchy the news editor id condescendingly there s Only one Princess  How about this Page 2 feature Complete with photos frenchy said waving the paper at him " amazing tribe of Giraffe women puzzles docs.1 the feminists Are always Yelling for More news Aboul women and you Guys miss a Chance to run  i took the paper from him. Hey i like this one i said. It s about women in Burma who stretch their necks with brass rings because the men think i make them Beautiful it says it changes their voices and they have to drink through straws. Also protects them from Tiger  great stuff the news editor said French a right. The feminists would just love to read about  did you catch this sidebar i asked excitedly " Usan a simple sir alike tube surgeons can now suck unsightly fat away forever Nas Little As 20 minutes " what part of Colombia was that in the news editor said. I l s in France frenchy said Rihlik next done to us. They Slick a tube into you and suck the fat away it says  t said thai they have to be careful about the veins and arteries Well hell yes frenchy said. How d you like to have a few arteries sucked out by m Ista Kcf i started to flip through Hie Paes Reading. Gee would i love to write headlines for this rag i said. Listen to these Miracle water lets paralysed Man walk hungry ghost eats woman s food Supply boredom turns wealthy wife into bag lady 95 Pound Gal is one of strongest women in the world wife sues new Hubby for gelling fat Robin Hood robber jailed after giving loot to the poor lose up to so pounds without dieting " that last one is an and f Renchy said. Read it anyway he news editor said. How Many crawfish pies did you eat Back Home frenchy very funny frenchy said you got so much Lime to poke fun while you re looking for Dull stuff to put in the newspaper speaking of that i said what s the Blest on the Venice economic Summit thalcher says there s .1 two headed baby being raised by wolves in Scotland inc news editor said. Very funny frenchy said. I m jus trying to get you Guy to perk things of a Little. When was the last time we ran something about Jackie o getting engaged she s not engaged the news editor said. Well run that then frenchy said. Sure i said " Jackie o denies love link to boy George " Well maybe not boy George frenchy said. I m tired of All his vacuous chitchat the news editor said. See what you can get me on in and Tammy Faye Bakker of and 1 need an update on Fawn Hall a Dollie North  monstrous Bride shocks saddens miss manners by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear miss manners when a Friend of mine was married recently one of her bridesmaid because of financial circumstances was unable to give timely gift however she did Send one several weeks after the wedding. Before the Bride received the gift she Una a Blank thank you note. She also did Thi to a few other people one being a Bride maid i Mother. Two Days later the bridesmaid did receive a thank you note for her gift i was also t bridesmaid and found Ihli appalling. Considering the wedding Showen Brett Shoei and hat a considerable amount of Money was spent participating in this wedding. Gentle Reader ust when miss manners thinks that things have hit Rock Bottom in the Tique de sphere someone hits her with something like this. Please can miss manners talk you and herself into thinking that the Bride accidentally sent out her Blank notes no. Since she did it to More than one person trial s going to be too difficult. Miss manners is forced to understand that this monstrous Bride has perverted the charming custom by which wedding guests wish to express their Joy in a tangible form loan expected business payment for which overdue Bill notices May be sent. She does not often write off etiquette violators As hopeless. This Bride s ignorance of simple wedding manners presents May be properly sent within a year of the marriage although they must be acknowledged immediately thanks should be expressed in letters on letter paper and riot on note cards Wilh a printed thank you might have been forgiven. Bui a violation motivated by malicious greed cannot be. Do you really need such a Friend dear miss manners my Mother in Law informed me after a recent dinner party at her haute trial it it improper etiquette for a lady to gel lipstick on a Tinen table Napkin when patting her Mouth during the course of a meal. Her family brags about what a Superb hostess she is but i feel thai her comments were both unwarranted and Eil remedy rude. To my knowledge it ii not improper and feel the is the one who is lacking knowledge of etiquette. Gentle Reader normally miss manners is opposed to free Lance etiquette instruction to strangers friends or daughters in Law. One takes care of oneself and one s own children and just puts up with the rest of the world. But she has some sneaking sympathy with a Mother in Law who dearly loves to entertain her daughter in Law at nicely served meals bul is getting mighty tired of trying to get lipstick out of the Good napkins. No it s not proper to use a Linen Napkin As a makeup Towel. No it s not proper either to Call another grown up s behaviour rude. But family intimacy provided ii is Noi abused does allow some gentle requests for eliminating habitual irritants. Dear miss manners i think it dreadful to Leach children to deceive to Wridt to feign emotions. They will learn that soon enough. Furthermore who would they think they were fooling not a grandmother Centle Reader miss manners takes it thai you Are 3 grandmother who does not want to receive thank you letters for presents unless the child both really adores the present and is spontaneously moved to sit Down and express gratitude in writing whose grandchild is not inhibited from asking you to give him what he wants in the Way of presents treats or Cash who does not want to be asked How you Are unless the child b curious about your health nun1 who wishes to hear in Bate honesty wha the Chilo thinks of everything you offer him to eat and what he would prefer to have. In other words you want the child to remain in the natural and therefore uncivilised stole in which he was born which is to say infantilism miss manner congratulates you. The chances of your getting your wish Are extremely Good these Days. Dear miss manners lately when a Friend i have known for a Long Lime needs to ask me something or invite me Over she has her 11-year-old daughter Call and ask me with the excuse that her Mother is Busy and can t come to the phone. 1 Don t mind this happening once in while bul it b occurring with regularity. If 1 say something about it she Cay the does t have the Lime with work and All and tout i am being oversensitive. How can 1 Lei her know that this bothers me without hurting her feelings or am t really being oversensitive her action make me feel thai i Don t rate her personal attention. Centle Reacek miss manners won t let you Brood Aboul it until you get any More oversensitive. Why can t you say you re so scello Call Melissa bul 1 won t trouble you us ask your Mother to Call me when she s  have 3 question on etiquette write to miss manners in Are of the stars and strips Ai o 09211. Your question will be forwarded to stir. Miss manners regrets 1/1.11 the can Only answer questions in her column. To Ripe Mega Zion Siw Jwj 19b7