European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - August 19, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 18 the stars and stripes wednesday August 19,1987 columns today s crossword anything goes in Auto shopping by Andy Rooney recently i got that urge most men get every few years. I went in to look at a new car. I know buying a new car is silly when the old one is running perfectly Well but we All know How to overcome Good sense when it comes to thinking about a new car. We say for instance i Don t want to have to Start spending a lot of Money on an old car. It la be cheaper in the Long run to turn it in  it won t be cheaper but that s what we say when we re talking ourselves into buying a new car. I like dealing with car salesmen. I have never dealt with a car Saleswoman for one thing i Don t feel the usual compulsion to be absolutely honest. There is an unwritten understanding Between car buyers and car salesmen who Are otherwise perfectly decent people that anything goes. It s like a poker game. Buyers Don t know what the dealer is holding. We know there s a profit margin he can Cut into to give us a better Deal but we Aren t sure How much he has to play with or How deep be i willing to Cut to make a  ago i went to a Ford showroom looking for a station Wagon. I saw one i liked and started bickering witha Talesman Over the Price. Finally in a desperate attempt to push me Over the Brink the Salesman said it s the Lascar like this on the whole East coast if you want it you better grab it because it la be gone  this was a Challenge to me. I Don t like to be brow beaten by a car Salesman. Of gosh 1 said. Thai s really top bad. I have a Good Friend and we always buy identical cars. I was looking for two of these one for him and one for me. If you Only have one it s no  listen the car Salesman said that s what some one Lold me. Just let me go in the office and Chick to make  sure enough of course he found one at another Ford dealer in the next town. Just Lucky he said. I did t buy the two wagons. The car i drive most is White and if i get a new one it la be White too. A while car does t seem to get a dirty As other colors and in the summer it reflects the heat of the Sun s rays. I Hope everyone does t decide to buy a White car some year though. I enjoy the variety of colors of cars on the Road. No color dominates and that s the Way it should be. The Best cars i be Ever owned Small cd Good. We All know a new car smells Good but the Best can have a Way of smelling Good All their lives. My 1977 Wagon still smells Good. I m Happy you can still get a manual shift in most cars. Automatic shift bums More Gas and does t give a Driver the same control of satisfaction As a stick shift does. I like to shift for myself. C Tribune Media service who con afford to be a Bullet while on vacation an Buchwald received limited immunity and the special prosecutor hat allowed him to reprint some of his favorite columns by Art Buchwald when president Reagan said we All have to bite the Bullet on the Economy i immediately went Down to my local sporting goods store. I would like a Bullet please i said to the clerk. You mean a Box of bullets he corrected me. No just one would be  he looked at me suspiciously. What kind of Bullet do you want i Don t know. Are there different kinds of course. What kind of gun do you have he asked. I Don t have a gun i said. Then what do you want a Bullet for i want to bite it i admitted sheepishly. The clerk backed away from me trying to reach a Buzzer which i assume turned on some kind of alarm. Don t get frightened i said. You see the presi Dent As part of his economic message said every one of us has to bile the Bullet or Well never lick  the Bullet he asked. No inflation Dummy i said. And he did t say what Caliper Bullet he wanted americans to bite not that i know of 1 replied. Does it make a difference i would think so the clerk said. I mean people have different size Mouths and what might be comfortable for you might not necessarily be comfortable for your grocer. Here try this .38  he placed it in my Mouth and i bit on it. How does that feel he asked not too Bud. How does it look you have the Shell casing sticking out. Did the president indicate what part of the Bullet he wanted you to bite come to think of it he did to i said. The least he could have done is Tell us which end of the Bullet we should get our Teeth  would you like to try a .45?" the clerk asked. It s thicker than a .38 and lasts twice As  no i think the .38 Bullet will do nicely. How much is it let s see the clerk said. On the Box it Sayi the bullets Are 4 cents each. But we just got a notice fro the manufacturer telling us they now Cost 8 cents. Since this was mailed out last week we have to assume the Cost went up another 2 cents. But we Don t know what will happen next week do we i admitted we did t. We d better add another 4 cents on the Price just to be Safe. Therefore it will Cost you 14 cents. That s outrageous i said. The clerk shrugged As he wrote out the sales slip. Maybe if you bile on it Long enough the Price will do  c Loi Angeles times Vire t 1ep. I be he packing Enoch. Who  hot few  somchmekfim7hli Pfoff hoi across1 Small rodent 5  8 Box 12 actor Jack 45 emlgn13 have 47 Clay mineral51 soap Star braeden52 Handy Keyhole finder 64 biography will trawl 14 mexican Dollar fiscal log. Repher Sneed 17 arthurian lady18 spotted rat19 Fri men 21 Spanish Queen 22 Art cull23 mole in the green26 had a bile 28 fictional Uncle 31 folksinger burl33 stately tree35 monthly bill36 shall we " 1037 movie 38 dutch 40 Saure or Down bean 1 iourd41 hawaiian fruit wind 2 in storm Waugh 43 yellow Dye 3 Chaplin prop 4 Suffi Dent 5 Stirrup 6 Energy source7 inward 8 highway65 ending Hazard for peer 9 Ella Andor steer George 56 it might Sand be proper 10 take it57 summer _ comes refreshers 11 and 58 june Bug Meos-59 Brun ures Ollde s 16 lady Mother Chaplin solution time 23 Milru. Mara rassue5j 3�3 Iga Mia Isar a cupboard Yett Nuy l Uimer 8-19 20 Pike Lakefish 23 Al Spanish hero 24 grapes25 pocket Gadget 27 Lodge member 29 Numero 30 hog heaven?32 Wall brackets 34 Cole Ridge s old one 37 chemical suffix 39 order to broker 42 hungarian National hero44 easy skirt46 Lugosi 46 barren48 or. Franken Stein s helper49duu sound60 sicilian smoker53 source Opp Robenu 8-19 the far Side Hall s Library