European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - August 22, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse Reluctant marital partners by Kate Tyndall United press International couples a arching Down Iho aisle in the United slates those Days make a Grea show of tradition with elaborate gowns chuch weddings and phalanges Olatten ants but beneath the fancy dross Tho foundations of the inst Luton have undergone what psychologists say is a massive social shirt we can no longer count on the permanence of says Pepper Schwartz a sociologist at Iho University of Washington people act More in their own Behall than in Behall of Tho Corporale Good " in the last Century marriage in the United Stales underwent one major shift from a partnership based on economics and child bearing to a partnership based on says William j Doherty of the uni Voegily of Minnesota traditionally companion damages were based on Man As breadwinner and woman As housekeeper and Mother these Iradi Honal marriages drawn along strict gender lines worked fairly Well until women snarled entering the labor Lorce during world War ii Between 1950 and 1985, women in the labor Torce increased nearly fivefold from 12 percent to 54 percent but forces thai have their roots in Iho women s movement the open marriage decade of the 1970s and the higher Cost of living have conspired to create a class of reluctant marital partners. For these ambivalent brides and grooms a return to a More irad Lional Type wedding May mask a forlorn Hope that they can invoke Tho time honoured illusion of happily Ever Allee Wilh the same ease Hal they Don their formal bridal clothes. And now Tho second major shift comes in Noco Xialing the terms of that emotionally grounded Union. Negotiating is frightening says Allan la psychiatrist Frank s Pittman because every Lime it happens Tho partners Lear they Are sliding Back Anlo traditional no workable roles. Gender based breakdown of tasks is no longer workable in today s damages especially when both partners work outside the Home Pittman says. Whal scares people is the need to negotiate things that were once taken for granted in their parents marriages things like who vacuums and takes care of the baby or who pays Lor restaurant meals As Well As More Complex issues like Job relocation. Economic pressures As Well As women s demands for Equality in marriage have also wrought changes in the manual partnership inflation has meant that we Are seeing a lol of couples who need to have two jobs us to hang to there in the Middle says Marcia l. Lasswell. A professor Al California stale University. Pomona couples Wilh Young children Are especially hard Hil. Since the Cost of child care often takes a big Bito oui of a couple s operating income what this often Means she says is Hal men take on some of the responsibility of child Caie. But very few of the household duties in the past these duties naturally devolved on the wife the 30s solution both parties pass on these chores Soheil Puls it this Way there Are a lot Moru houses out inc e " most psychology agree Wilh Dourty Hal male female behaviour pallens who docs anal have nol changed Signil Mcanlly Howe of. Talking about in has and that communication is part and parcel of Trie comple negotiations taking place in today s damages Mosca Mcgoldrick. A family Counselor i the changing roles in society have resulted in confusion among married couples who seek group therapy. Brunswick she has counselled some couples who have Only been married a few months. What brings some couples in is the wife s with the amount of work a husband does in 1he Home or one partner s fear of having a Home or one partner s Leaf of marriage it seems to me that As educated women Ihrk of life marriage is not a very appetising proposition Mcgoldnick says ii she works Ihen she has to work Paublo Lime it she gels mar cd and that creates conflicts m the relationship conflicts that Ollen bring Young couples to her door women Are not willing to make those kinds of san lines the marital partners of the 1980s arc so Alsaid they will lose the flavor of their marriage that Thoy even postpone children although in Many cases they want families says Pittman people have realized the bankruptcy of marriages based on traditional gender lines and of marriages in which panne is sought extramarital sexual relationships he says what couples Are afraid of is commitment. Both to each other and loan Mali Luton commitment has a disc real meaning to the marriage minded of Iho 80s. Says Rachel Hare Muslin a Pio lessor of counselling and human relations at Villanova University Villanova a commit Lenl Means to ii stay together As Long As we Bolh want to rather than lilt deals do us part she says Cyl. Says Pii Iman. The Only Way to survive a marriage is to immerse yourself in it marriage of sri i work unless you see Ilas permanent the whole Hung becomes a Lille Flat couples today us Don t Trust marriage he says and they Gui that irom the slash pics Over the last two decades the marriage and divorce statistics have been gum although the divorce Rale which has soared since 1968. Has certainly reached a saturday. August 22. 1987 Pat loan according to Kathryn London a demographer with the National Center Lor health statistics in 1986. The rate in the United Stales was 4 8 divorces per 1,000 population Down lion 5 per 1.000 in 1985, the 2 a million marriages recorded in 1986 reflect a Lugo year decline in the number of marriages irom an All Lime Peak of 2,477.192 in 19r4, London says marriage in the United sales has become such an emotionally Dicey proposition Hal Many americans Are realizing they can live without it says Doherty kids today arc really socialized to the realities of he adds the likelihood of divorce 15 50 percent for newlyweds in the trends follow those of the previous decade and very few people approaching marriage today arc unaware of the risks often today s couples go through a marriage eyeing one another says Pittman Thoy May be suspicious that their partner will have an or in some other Way Thicklen the partnership Oul of such fears these people May begin lining up relationships outside the marriage in Case the current manage tails a sure prescription Lor Lailure in the aids decade however a lairs a become 3 thing of the past the shift toward monogamous what Irand Faith Popcorn of Chi n v. Fork null cling Lum Bram Hoot a inc Canio m-1 and Kirn i monogamy or me is based Iti p Al or 3 that the open Marria i t Iten inuit of the 1970s unworkable bul More Onn the i wins Fuir of Aid j studies have s in thai Durms the Coli let us it marriage up to 70 percent of husbands Arul jul Peic enl of wives will Havu Al least one encounter Fui searchers that monogamy Una i to Leai of aids 15 Minifi Inico to communicate Mare with each other Tor solid of Ritner than turning to Soni on outside the Sarnago even if people Don t communicate More each other. Aids ii Bee i ining to put a curb on couples extramarital activities the stars and stripes Paga 17
