European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - September 14, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 18 the stars and stripes monday september 14,1987 columns today s crossword the world is beyond understanding by Andy Rooney there Are Days when i read the newspaper and feel ready to throw up my hands in resignation. There arc too Many things 1 Don t understand. Examples sunnis shiites saudi Arabia Mecca and the whole problem of the Middle East is More than i can sort out. What in the world Ever happened to the great civilizations that existed in that pan of the world the people in ancient countries there were working with Decimals 6,000 years before anyone thought of building a freeway from los Angeles to Santa Monica. Now All most Middle Eastern countries seem to be Able to count is their dead. The egyptians knew astronomy gave us the 365-Day Calendar and preceded the greeks As a great civilization in All kinds of ways. Wha hoppin with the big head Start countries of the Middle East got on the rest of the world you d think they d be Way ahead. Instead they re Way behind. Iran does t even seem to be making persian rugs anymore. I be been to Tehran and some of the incredibly great old structures there Are monuments to a great civilization that used to be. Maybe their troubles began when someone invented the gasoline engine and they discovered Oil there. � the fairness doctrine was abolished by the Federal communications commission. According to the Rule broadcasters who allowed one Side of any Issue tomake a Point on the air had to provide equal time for any other Side that wanted it. Broadcasters complained that because of the fairness doctrine they could t give the major political Candi dates at much Lime As they d like to. If they gave the democratic candidate an hour and the Republican candidate an hour they also had to give equal time to the nut fringe candidates whom i will not name for fear of being sued. The argument in favor of abolishing the Rule is that radio Ana television now have the same Freedom to take sides that newspapers have. The argument against abolishing it is that broadcast ers won t give two sides to a lot of important issues. Way Back in the 1960s for example cigarette Adver Tising was very big on television. A consumer group demanded time to match the tobacco advertisers and under provisions of the fairness doctrine got it. Its anti smoking messages were so effective that the Tobac co Industry did t fight much when cigarette Advertis ing on radio and television was outlawed. The question of the fairness doctrine will be coming up in Congress. There Are Good Guys on both sides. I d Bate to have to vote. Stocks and Bonds salesmen have More interesting theories that Don t seem to work than any other group of business people. You keep Reading stones about Why they say the Stock Market is going up or stories about Why they think it s about logo Down but their predictions Only seem to be right about half the time. Is being right half the time a Good average for a professional c to Lburn Madli service on writing 2 horrid examples by James j. Kilpatrick for today s pop quiz let us examine two sentence Sand talk about what is wrong with them. The first comes from the Chicago Sun times in a Story about the cubs Star outfielder Andre Dawson. At san Diego Dawson was booed jeered taunted and the target of the second comes from the Christian science Monitor in a Story about baseball s All Star game. Unfortunately the fans often vote from memory and base Don in each Case the failure was a failure of parallelism. You will find a splendid discussion of the topic in Wilson Follett s Modem american usage under the heading of what is fatal to orderly prose composition says Follett is to arouse an expectation of matched construction and then to frustrate it. In the first horrid example we find three verbs and then spoiling the sentence a noun. The mind s Eye expects another verb to match booed jeered an taunted. Then bang the Eye runs into target and the Eye blinks. You Correct the flaw by making things tidy fans greeted Dawson with Boos jeers taunts and a Shower of debris. Or Dawson was booed jeered taunted and made the target of debris. In the second horrid example we might make the sentence read unfortunately voting often is based upon memory and sentiment. Or fans often vote from memory and base their choices on sentiment. Or memory and sentiment often dominate the voting. Other alternative constructions should occur to you. The principle says Follett is the simple one that logically equal elements in a sentence had better be also rhetorically Follett provides this example thus he belonged to neither group having moved away from the former and lagging behind the what was required of course was lagged behind the similarly he expressed disappointment with the women of Kansas City and Denver because of their delicate appearance and dressing like the women of the Here the difficulty might be relieved by making two sentences out of one he expressed disappointment with the women of Kansas City and Denver they had a Deli Cate appearance and they dressed like the women of the it s no great trick to make things parallel the trick is to recognize when something is skewed. Watch out also for the syntactical flaw that trapped an associated press correspondent in Alaska. 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