European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - November 5, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns Quality time spent in the paediatrician s office by Dave Barry Knight Ridder newspapers my wife and i believe  .1 Good Parent should spend a certain amount of Quality time with a child. That s Why at least once a week we take our son to the paediatrician to gel an ear infection looked at. Our son gets ear infections almost As often As the democrats lose major presidential contenders so we know from experience exactly the course of medical treatment that will be required to make Liim belter 1. Me needs to stay Home from school and watch rental cartoons on the Var. 2. He needs to Lake antibiotics that to judge from their Cost Are made by grinding up emeralds. Obtaining the antibiotics is the hard pan because of course we Are not permitted to simply go to the drugstore and buy them. Wien we die and go to Parent heaven we will be permitted to do this. We will stride into the drugstore and say i would like to Purchase exactly the Antibiotic Hal i purchased each of the previous 657 limes my child had an ear  the druggist will say of Coursel Here you go and 10 minutes later we will be Baci at our House which in Parent heaven will have a knot of cheerful retired nurses lounging on the Doorstep 24 hours a Clay in Case we Ever need a baby Sitter. But in the real world to Joel the antibiotics we must first go to our son s paediatrics group eighteen random Pedi Arii professionals  puts us through a  ordeal similar to the Way certain primitive tribes require that a Young Warrior to prove his manhood must fight a giant Snake naked. Although the Warrior probably does t have to sit in a waiting room first. Go right on in he is probably told. The Snake will see you now this never happens at my son s Pedi Alric group. For one thing for insurance reasons there Are no snakes there. For another thing there Are always several Hundred children ahead of us milling around the waiting room coughing on each other and ripping pages from books with titles like Earl the eel has a big Surprise or big Bird s  the reason the waiting room is always so crowded is that at least seven eighths of the children All the sick ones Are being fitted in at the last minute. This is a strange thing about paediatricians they spend their lives wallowing in childhood disease yet when they set up their office schedules it apparently never occurs to them that children Are going to get sick. This is Why the receptionist always sounds so inconvenienced when you Call because Johnny has a fever of 101. You Don t have an appointment she says disapprovingly clearly wondering what kind of Bozo Parent would let a child get sick without having an appointment. Well of she finally says. Well try to fit you in at 4 30." meaning of course Guam Standard  after we pass the ordeal of sitting for a Long time in the waiting room we move on to the ordeal of sitting for a Long time in the Little examination room with absolutely nothing to do except listen to children shrieking in the rooms All around us. The children of course have Good reason to shriek the Needle nurse is on the prowl. The Needle nurse is a person who lurks in the Halls of paediatrics groups like the person wih the Chainsaw in the Texas Chainsaw  just when the doctor leaves the examination room and the child thinks the Nightmare is finally Over suddenly the Needle nurse lunges in and stabs the child with a sterilized implement. The result of course is a shriek. As we watch the Needle nurse Slack  the doorway of our examination room i Tell our son there s nothing to worry about. But deep inside i know that if there were the slightest Chance that she was going to come after me i would be springing across the parking lot. Eventually the actual doctor arrives and of course he is a stranger because it is a violation of group paediatric ethics for a child to see the same doctor twice in any Given five year period. So the doctor must spend a Large percentage of the examination time Reading Robert s medical history which consists of the words ear infection written in 657 different handwriting. Then he frowns a medical frown into my son s ears after which he turns to me and announces that our son has an ear infection and i get ready to clap my hand Over my son s Mouth in Case he starts to make some smart. Remark like we already know Hal which might anger the doctor and car. Him to schedule some blood tests. Finally we Are allowed to leave clutching a prescription form that says in latin these people have passed the ordeal.". I try to look on the lighter Side. At least we Don t need a prescription to rent the cartoons. When the waiter asks about your dinner Tell him by miss manners United feature synd Kate dear miss manners when the waiter comes by and ask is everything All right is this a question of pure Courtesy like How Are you should you always answer ust Fine thank you unless you or your dining companion Are already suffering from an attack of botulism if everything is not Fine should one answer honestly this Issue came up on two different occasions 1. My husband and i had a meal at a charming moderately expensive French restaurant. Most of the meal Wai delicious but my Rice was too Salty. I did not eat it but said nothing to the waitress. On the other hand when my husband found a foreign object embedded in his Frozen dessert he gently pointed it out to the waitress. She apologized and told the chef returning later to say that he had no  How it got there. 2. At another quite Nice restaurant my steamed mussels tasted Strong almost game and rather Unpi Eatonl. I frequently order mus Scis so i know How they usually taste. I was hungry and did not think they were spoiled so i ate them anyway but i can t say i enjoyed them. I did not say anything. Later that evening i had an attack of nausea but since i am in the Early weeks of pregnancy i put it Down to that rather than the mussels. Should i have said something about the Salty Rice in the interests of helping the restaurant improve its cooking should i have tent the mussels Back or is a diner stuck with the dish the orders unless the suspects the food is actually spoiled should i have asked the waiter to taste the mussels to we if that is How they usually taste gentle Reader miss manners has a High tolerance for useless courtesies she is not one to froth at the Mouth upon being wished to have a Good Day but this innovation happens to annoy her. It s not just that is everything All right is superfluous because a properly run restaurant can assume that everything is going Well if the patrons do not complain. One does not generally wait to be asked if one is suffering from botulism. What irritates miss manners is that pretentious restaurants have steadily increased the intrusive interruptions of patrons conversation while the standards of actual service have declined. However if they Are going to do this let us make use of the Opportunity to respond. It is not for serious criticism. Such complaints legitimate complaints Are about food that is spoiled or seriously mis prepared or contains foreign elements should be volunteered As soon As the problem is discovered. A Good restaurant will prefer receiving such a complaint to losing a customer and will correctly respond by apologizing profusely replacing the dish and As an extra Courtesy adjusting the Bill to compensate for the problem. Thus your husband was most definitely right about his dessert and should have complained about the chef s reaction As Well. If your mussels could have been spoiled or your Rice was truly inedible you should have complained about that. But if those foods were just not As skilfully cooked As you would have liked you can t Send them Back. Ordinarily you can Only resolve not to return. However if the waiter is going to come up and ask you. Miss manners hereby gives you leave to say politely everything else is Fine but i find the Rice a bit Salty or i m a Little disappointed in the mussels they were so much better Here  dear miss manners i am at the age when a lot of my friends Parent Are dying. It it proper to attend a funeral of a Parent i did t know my thoughts  been that i go to a funeral to Honor the family members i.e., my friends who have lost a Parent or sibling. I Don t want to be improper on such a solemn occasion. But i love my friends dearly and would appreciate it if they came to Comfort and acknowledge a death in my family even if they did t know my relative personally. Gentle Reader miss manners Seldom receives question and answer in the same letter but yours contains both. It does t leave her much to do but congratulate you or your sensitivity and commend your attitude. Dear miss manners i usually go to the grocery store twice a week. I la be in line patiently waiting my turn when a new checker will open a line and say i can help someone Over  without fail the person in Back of me runs Over and is waited on immediately. I think that s rude. I m the next one in line and i should be the one waited on next. I think the checker should say ill take the next person in line  gentle Reader this is the sort of provocation thai leads to Basket bashing in grocery stores or at least to facial expressions that Wilt the lettuce. Your solution is an excellent one and miss manners commends you and recommends it to anyone who deals with lines of people. She would also consider it proper for one who has missed out in the free for All run to the new checker to say firmly but politely i believe i was  Tori put Magazine Novom bars 1987