European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - November 19, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns designer duds for dogs Are Tough act to follow try Dave Barry Knight Ridder i m of jetting  a the lbs morning  in pm Cilc my mrwik of toilet Ted in alumns and i m trying in cheer myself up. Well i m by my k myself a least they re pulling Minn by the slim i the Llama is a jul  a genl Ianul trend Eltink Pels Whit h also includes ,1 Pimmie k. .1 Multi no Duik my to goals one of whom is named . I in not nuking this up. When they showed this particular goal on came. They had ils nime superimposed on inc screen Jum the  they to with major news Maken. Only instead of Henry Kissinger it Saiof "." which come to think of ii is also what they should Pul up there for Hinfy Kissinger. , i am telling myself Thiol it is a Good thing a sign of my  As a guest Hal they Are putting me on i he show head of the , although i also must confront the fact Hinl they ire putting me on after let segment on dog fashions. The guest for the dog fashion segment is a woman who design outfits thai you can put on your do in make it look even stupider than ii probably already docs. Accompanying this woman area number of outfit wearing dogs including a girl dog in 3 White wedding dress Ullh ,1 veil ind .1 boy dug dressed up As a Groon. The designer woman " says anal she is quite serious thai it has become quite a trend to   weddings for dogs who me about to be milled. Of he clergy person says to the Groom at the end of the ceremony you  now nuzzle the  now the  segment is winding Down and i m gelling ready logo on to promote my Book ind i m thinking ,15 no doubt thousands of a Ulhorn  thought before me about my blemish. Emir Pioron this Book tour in Cleveland or possibly Philadelphia this blemish started developing smack  on the end of my nose the absolute perfect place when you re doing a lot of Media  Anh i m wondering if the morning program co Host Marielle Hartley will notice it. Our next guest she might say is a person with a big Zil on his  not Hal it matters. Lbs has cancelled the morning program for Lack of viewership and probably the Only people who will actually see my segment ate the 25 members of the live studio audience Bui 1 am not complaining because 25 people is larger than thet Olal viewership of the shows i m usually on when i m promoting a Book. Usually m on extremely Low budget shows on Cable to shows with names like focus on  you have probably caught glimpses of these shows while Remote controlling your Way i through the channels late at night the characters Are always the same a Host a guest and a Plant. The three of you sit there and drone away for a half hour during which it often becomes apparent thai the Plant knows More about your Book than the Hosl docs. To make matters worse on this particular Book Lour i myself the author Lii Ive riot  feat the actual Book of sure i wrote it but that was Over a year ago and Large sections of it Are Only  memories at his Point. I fully intended to read it before i left on the tour hut he publisher forgot to Send me a copy so i have found myself in a number of Embarrass Long interview situations where i quite frankly did not know the answers to key questions Host Dave you have some  funny things 10 say in your Book about . Me yes Bob i m sure i do. Lengthy silence. Plant nervously a  and to make mailers worse till in each City i have been to on this tour i have visited Hoolis Lores and so far not n Tingle one has had my Itcik. I am starting to wonder if i Ever even wrote this Book. Maybe i am the victim of an elaborate publishing Industry prank wherein they somehow trick you into believing you wrote a Book then Send you out to All these obscure Cable to stations and just before you go on camera Allen Funt Leafs the hidden smirking audience our next guest is attempting to promote an imaginary Book also Check out his nose Zil not that i am complaining. No i am Happy to have a role no matter How Small in the world of literature where i can at least dream that someday i will become a Best Selling author like Nathaniel Hawthorne whose classic work the Scarlet Leller was. This is the truth the no. 4 paperback in several of the cities i visited this week in the Cliff s notes version. One person s pet can often be another pest by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear miss manners i am not an animal Lover. I Don l want any dog or at big or Small sitting beside me or Ai my feet or worse breathing on my Back while i m eating. When invited somewhere i let my friends know How i led about animals around me. I feel stressed and to Tell you the truth come Back literally sick with a migraine headache every Lime. When i am invited 1 remind my friends of my condition and Lell them that it is their Home and their right to do want they want and they Don t have to make any change for me. They insist that i go Over and that they won t Lei the animal near me. You guessed it the dog is either sitting at my eel or on the Couch near me or breathing on my Back while i eat. How do i get out of thin situation gracefully without making a scene gentle Reader miss manners does not advise people to use the plea of illness fraudulently. But surely your propensity to migraine headaches from animals should if made Clear be sufficient reason for your hosts to protect you from their household pets. Your difficulty is thai they do not seem to distinguish this from Mere annoyance. Miss manners is not justifying annoying guests with the unwanted attentions of Pels. A Good Host picks up every hint of a guest s preferences. Unfortunately people tend not to Lake seriously the possibility of others not Loving their animals. Charmed themselves they tend to believe thai it is Only prejudice Cind Lack of exposure that keeps you from being charmed As Well. You must gently disabuse them of this. Try i he warning when you Are invited plus this reminder when you Are there you know i gel headaches from being around animals. Your dog is adorable but i m afraid i will suffer liter dear miss manners do you have some thoughts on How to announce a divorce mine will be final just ahead of the holidays and i d like to let my Distant friends know about the situation to save All of us from embarrassment a and sadness with the Christmas cards. Personal notes Are out of the question. I have three children one a toddler and a full time Job. There Are Aboul 75 Distant friends who Aren t Likely to hear of our divorce i capt through our annual Christmas notes. Would a simple printed letter with both new addresses and without any details be acceptable gentle Reader yours is a sensible solution. Bless you. In fact for resisting the Lemp lation to Pul this in a single mailing my Rry Christmas by the Way Tim and i wive split miss manners also approves of your decision to limit the information. One does nol announce a divorce As if it were a joyous event even if it is for the announcer. The c Hange of address amply slates the situation. Dear miss manners my Shier and i have very different personalities. She tends to be casual while i am More formal. I like to use cups and saucers in a table setting. Over Lime i be Learned Losel out Coffee mugs for my sister and brother in Law because they never use saucers they push them aside. I say Hal when a Saucer is provided with a cup it should be used to protect the Tablecloth. Mugs Are designed to be used alone. Am i just being snooty ii 1 Don l like them pulling the Saucer aside what is considered proper gentle Reader actually they Are being snooty. Informality has no Corner on galil arianism the important i Hing is whether one respects other people s choices. One May legitimately set a casual or More formal Stylo in one s own House but purposely to reject any style of her than one s own is a form of snobbery. However considering that these Are your close relatives you Are being gracious in miss manners. Opinion to Supply them with the equipment they prefer. Can you take just one step More in that direction and refrain from supervising their manners dear miss manners gentlemen often Emend to me the Courtesy of stepping Back into the Alile of an air plane or bus from which we Are about disembark to allow me to leave my seat and enter the Alste ahead of hem. I normally respond to Sutti a gesture with a nod and a thank  on occasion the Man will place his hand on my shoulder or Back As i pass in what it perhaps intended to be a reassuring or guiding gesture. As i am Young in Good health and of a quell and conservative Demeanour i am sceptical Hal either frailty or flirtations Are eliciting these unwelcome Pat. Avoiding All possible contacts by reining any gentleman who offers me the Courtesy of preceding him seems a paranoid and rude response. Does acceptance necessarily invite familiar behaviour is there any Way in respond thai will help alleviate my feelings of violated privacy while Hill acknowledging the presumed Good will of the gentleman s in Elf gentle Reader How High on the Back miss manners hates to ask but is unclear whether the gesture is truly intended As a passing Advance or is inadvertently prompted by the unsteadiness of crowded and possibly bumpy aisles. First give a Little shriek As i f you had been accosted. Then when you have captured the attention of the crowd turn and give the offending gentleman a weakly apologetic smile As if you then realized that he could not possibly have touched you on purpose. Miss manners assures you thai the next Lime the gentleman will elect to fall on his face Wilder than ? a hand on you have a question an etiquette f write to miss manners in Vwe of the so is and stripes apo0921i. Your question will be Fonejr Derl to her. Miss manners regrets Thyl she  Emu i no wifi of Only in her column. Tit Pitt naga int Nott brr 19, 1987