European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - November 28, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse Anti Landers saturday november 28,1967 the stars and stripes Page 11 letters dear Ann Landers i have read your column for years and respect your advice. I need an opinion about the behaviour of my wife and 14-Ycar old Stepson. Is he too close physically to his Mother she asks him to rub he r feet almost every night. She also rubs his. They sit at opposite ends of the sofa and Massage one another for hours. Tonight the boy was lying across his Mother s Lap As she was or rubbing his neck. When he got up i saw visible signs thai he we Cuci Ted. Although my wife and i have a Isis Factor sex life i Don t go in much for touching. I come from a family where there was no affection shown. We never saw our father hug or kiss our Mother. I m afraid my wife May be getting hands on affection from her son because she does t get it from me. What do you think Ann worried in Arkansas dear Ark Yon need a family Counselor at once. The relationship Between your wife and her son sounds borderline incestuous or beading in that direction. Those Mother son massages must Stop. By your own admission you do not give your wife enough affection. Now is an Ideal time to change that. A Good Counselor can help you break the sound Barrier. Get going. The whole family needs help. Dear Ann Landers i am a Secretary working in a Large office with about 40 others. Three years ago during the course of lunchroom conversation i m ashamed to say that i made some derogatory comments about a newly hired Secretary i la Call her sue. My remarks were not based on fact but merely gossip. Of course someone repeated my comments to sue. I was embarrassed to learn that my remarks for which i hid no proof were exaggerated and quite damaging. Three years later i find myself working closely with sue and i have come to respect her. Every time i pass her in the Hall or talk with her during the business Day i am tilled with guilt. She has never mentioned those comments to me and now that so much time As passed i believe she May have forgotten. I d like to Clear the air once and for All or is it Best to leave sleeping dogs lie feeling guilty in California dear guilty you can be sure that sue has not forgotten. Hurtful mra ors and hearsay gossip have a life of their own. It is never Loo late to apologize. The two most Wel come words in the English language an i m Tell sue today and i la bet you will feel 100 percent better tomorrow. Dear Ann Landers we recently attended a Church wedding. There were 500 guests and it was a Beautiful affair. There was one Haw however. When the vows were taken the phrase for better or for worse for Richer or poorer in sick Ness or in health till death do us part was omitted. It seems to me that this is a serious deletion in Light of the High divorce rate in this country. I know that during our 37-year marriage the memory of my vows has kept me from calling it quits Many times. Anyone who is honest will Tell you that marriage certainly does get worse and sometimes unbearable. How about it Ann am i right Glendale do arc these Days Many couples write their own vows and Tore it whatever they Don t like. I believe the matter is inns by personal and should be left to the discretion of the to triad pals. More views offered on . Tax situation this is in reply to the person who finds the United kingdom a taxing experience. I have been in the . At Raf Lakenheath for two Tours now three years the first time the Pound was $2.49 then and Over four years this Lime with an indefinite Date to return from overseas. As far As the to tax is concerned this includes your radio by the Way would much rather pay the tax for commercial free movies or shows. I do agree the fee is High and going up again in april to 62.50 pounds. I buy to tax Stamps from the British Post office on base so i Don t have to make that big one time pay ment after the first year. They have these Stamps for other ining the Telephone. As stated there in t a screened window tax but there is a sprinkler tax and dog tax to name a few. Luckily they Aren t very High. An was supposed to be Here in october but so far the negotiations Are stalling. You have to be a Cable subscriber to get it. There is a Hook up fee of $25 and a monthly fee of $25.95. I be been told it s not much Mere then stateside Cable companies i Don t know for sure As i Haven t been Back to the states in Over four years. I be enjoyed my time in the . And my husband and i Are m no hurry to leave. Sure there Are bad things but there Are also Good things just like any where you go name withheld Raf Lakenheath England i am British married to an american service member whom i met while he served in England from 1980-83. When my husband arrived in England he had to pay $2.50 for a British he was an e-3 at the time and survived very nicely off As far As Road he knew when he purchased a car with one year s Mot and one year s tax on it. The person Selling the car had invested some Bucks so it must have been a Good car. And Why do you want an when you have Access to four British speaking channels some of which show american shows be thankful people Here in Germany for instance Only have an. My husband loved England so much we re going Back in 1988. To a $1.70 to a Pound Groat. So Stop your whining and enjoy that Beautiful country while you can. With 17 years in the service it s More than Likely you la never get to see it again. Sharon Carr Hahn a Germany my husband and i spent five years in England at Raf Lakenheath before coming on a consecutive overseas Lour move to Spain. We also were appalled at All the taxes we had to pay. There May not be a tax for screened windows but there is one for water sprinklers and Pels As Well As the ones the writer mentioned. It s top bad the United slates govern ment can t help he military to pay these outrageous costs. a lion Ilici Lolli ii Solus. True they do give a one year exemption for Road tax. Which is appreciated but what about the other two or three years you spend there the ones that arc Hurt More than any others Are the airmen with families. It gets very hard for them to make ends meet. This ii True Here in Spain and the other bases overseas. They May say inc Cost of living allowance evens out any discrepancy to the Pound to Dollar or any other currency but it really does t. In the Long run. The military is one of inc worst Hurt when our Economy lakes a nose dive As it is at the moment. What really gets me upset is when Congress run give themselves two or Ihrcke pay raises but when it comes to giving inc military a pay raise or to help us in inc Cost of living allowance we gel inc Short end of the stick. I m not saying that they Don t deserve it. But Don t we deserve a Little help Loo after All. Without us and vice versa they would t exist yes. We do gel a lot of free benefits and we would t be in inc military As Long As we have been l4 i years if we really did t think it was Worth it. But we really Are not appreciated for inc things we have to put up with. Civilians could never under stand unless they have been through ii themselves. Name withheld Torrejon a Spain vulgar language irritates civilian Reader i am a civilian and would like to address something thai has been bugging me for some time. Why is it that some soldiers can t express them selves in Public without using the foulest words they can Muster up last month 1 was at the bus Slop on Post and two female e-3s were loudly conversing about All the Blank they have to put up with and How blanking tired of it they were. A few Days later i was walking through the parking lot by some Barracks. Three soldiers greeted each other with How the Blank have you been and Blank Man How Are a what topped it All off was yesterday when i left the Exchange. A female e-5 i la Call ski. A was standing a few feet from the Entrance. Someone who knew her asked what Are you so mad about sol. A s answer was loud and Clear my Blank ride is late and i m sick of this Blank this really Blanks me Oft she s probably still at Home putting on her make up in All of these incidents these soldiers were in uni form. Don i they realize thai like it or not their con duct can reflect on All soldiers Don t they realize How ignorant and rude they make themselves appear maybe they should spend a few minutes with a dictionary and review some of the More intelligent adjectives available for their use. The incidents i described involved cos. But i have also witnessed a lieutenant colonel use the aforementioned language while Yelling at a civilian at a stateside Post. To those soldiers who Don l feel the need to curse in Public or maybe not at All. 1 respect you. Your conduct will cause others to respect you withheld bad Kreuz Nach. Germany pen pals i of Lac pan pats torn an woj me worn i fake to Frt vet. Meet prep to. To an k Muse do photography an bowl lam20yeaniahj Suzann Exler if 2t4 7060schom0or1 vent Gemeny i am ung la pen pm Ftp my Habtes an Toyra guru. Stamp. Faroe two and roof no i am a year kingdom of slur a i am Loami tar Christian pan pals. 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Fpo ny09621 am Nona Auto on est Trio i Sau w Harpie 7514556. United kingdom Dave Beni by Kikng 436 Cess us. Haf Apo 09127. Telephone Auto on 238 2226 of m4dntwitl c l063t 512226 Washington. . Chuck v non Bartman card a the pen unon room 2 e 756 to do 46095 Washington. Do zoom 6095. Me phone 202 697-6695 Wurz Bulla term afro Tim born. Fuer to a Jig. Room 110 Gen eral delivery. Apo 09036, Telephone ets 350-4704 or Wuerzburg pm. 0931-71569 circulation offices Germany Berlin Civ 833146 my 6167 us 332 441? b to renew in Civ 65166 it. 8119 ets 3428119 or in in Civ Oft 692050 of 692565. My cd. Or 7103 ets 330-6021 of 7ioj Tew 41zm2 a or Flaulein a &7070or5079 m4 vent Tweh 7100 ets499 7100 Mufeh Civ 6901w3 or 690104 rat 6556 440 6556 Nuet in a 7t?s58 new 7001 ets 460-7001 Stull jul 0/m67014m. Mil 6030 ets 420-6030 Greece Athens i 9923390 Italy a Cema Cim 515358 9paw Madril. 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